The Ways You Said I Love You
by Tsuki the Wolf
Summary: The various ways that you and Saeyoung have expressed your love to each other. (Almost pure fluff. Spoilers! Sequel story is "Memories of a Family")
1. As a Hello

**A/N: I finished the Seven route and ended up having far too many feelings and a love for a character in a video game, so I decided to write out a bunch of fluffy ficlets for him and MC. It's my first time writing him, but I hope the characterization is right!**

 **Spoilers for various endings! I took the liberty of merging a couple of storylines.**

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Despite what some of the other RFA members may have thought, you did have a job outside of answering emails about upcoming parties. Not that they thought that all you did was sit at your house on your phone all day, but none of them really asked about what you did for work. Only Saeyoung had really known back then, but he had dismissed it as unnecessary information once he had concluded that you were harmless. Besides, you had gotten a new job to help pay for your part of the rent when you had moved in with the Choi brothers. Although . . . Saeyoung was still paying a majority of the absurd amount of rent. There wasn't much you could do about that. He was still significantly wealthier than you even though he no longer did the same kind of work he used to. You just wished that sometimes Saeyoung remembered that you did have things to do outside of the house.

It was difficult still for you to get past all of the security in place, but you were getting better at dodging around any traps and pronouncing Arabic. Also, just like Saeran, you had taken to carrying around an Arabic dictionary. You personally thought that Saeyoung's system always knew who you were. But just because you were with Saeyoung didn't mean he always went easy on you. The system did at least go easier on you than, say, Yoosung or Zen, so you didn't hold it against Saeyoung. Your proof of your suspicion that Saeyoung's security recognized your presence and your voice was the fact that when you got to the last door that would demand you answer it's question in its playful robotic 707 voice, it would always ask you ridiculous questions such as, "What is 'Open, Master Seven" in Arabic?". It was preferred to the raunchier questions that would have your face flushing.

This time Saeyoung must have been expecting you. Perhaps it was because there was a tracker that may or may not have been in your purse (you would have to search for that later). Instead of the usual 707 voice coming on to issue you a challenge, Saeyoung's voice spoke instead.

 **Ohh~ Look who is back~! Have you come to reenter my lair?**

You grinned at hearing the man trying to sound like a robot even while his voice was clearly trying to contain his own amusement. "Oh yes!" You responded, playing along. "I would like to come in! I have gifts!"

 **Gifts do not tempt robots! Now! How do you say . . . "I love Saeyoung" in Arabic?**

You made a show of digging into your purse for your pocket dictionary, both taking your time and dramatically moving all of the stuff inside around and around. You became a little more frantic before sighing, defeated, and dropping your hands. You made sure to look as horrified and disappointed as possible. You could say that your acting skills had definitely gotten better after hanging around Saeyoung. Maybe someday you could be up there on the stage with Zen with the amount of acting you did.

"Oh no! I can't find my dictionary!" You cried and leaned against the large metal door, well in sight of the camera. "What will I do? I won't be able to get inside!"

 **Back away from the door.** Saeyoung the robot warned, **I can and will explode.**

"Oh, sorry." You stepped away and ducked your head behind your long hair to make sure the camera couldn't pick up on your smile.

 **How could you not know how to speak basic Arabic?** The voice mock-scolded you. **They teach it in middle school!**

"What will I do now? God Seven! I need help!" You cried out instead.

 **Oh my god.** You faintly heard over the speaker, somewhere in the background. **Are you two flirting over the security system?**

 **Shhh!** Saeyoung hissed back. You could picture him swatting at Saeran. You could also picture the younger twin rolling his eyes. You felt only mildly embarrassed to have been caught playing around again by Saeran, but you were losing your ability to feel shame at your open flirting with Saeyoung. It was well-deserved. And it wasn't as if you were the one to always start it.

 **Never mind that voice. It must have been!** Saeyoung the robot appeared again. He paused for dramatic effect before declaring, **A HACKER!**

 **Lord save me.** You heard Saeran mutter, but only just.

"A hacker!" You gasped, horrified. "And I'm stuck between the security systems with no way out! Help! I need the Defender of Justice!"

 **The Defender of Justice Seven-Zero-Seven can't help you crack MY security!** The robot responded. **The only way through is to say the line! Say it, human! Say how much you loooooooove Saeyoung!**

"I looooooooooooove . . ." You dragged out the word, "the beautiful Zen~"

Saeyoung gasped, shocked and offended. **How could you? After all my master has done for you? Now I'll never let you in!**

"But maybe I can be convinced to show how much I love Saeyoung when I enter?" You bargained.

The robot seemed to consider the option. You waited, excitement and happiness swirling pleasantly within you. You hadn't expected this little playful episode after your long day of work, but you already felt significantly better because of it.

The door clicked loudly and opened before you, the hinges silent as they swung open with some effort. On the other side stood Saeyoung, brushing a couple of loose Honey Buddha Chip crumbs off of his jeans, before he crossed his arms. "Well?" He asked.

You grinned and ran over to him, throwing your arms around his taller form. "You saved me, God Seven!"

Saeyoung never could resist such a warm welcome, and so soon you were wrapped up into his arms and held tightly. "God Seven!" He cheered.

"God Seven~!" You grabbed his cheeks, a smile dancing across your lips. "My gift for my rescuer!" You told him before you kissed him. Saeyoung made a loud humming noise from behind his lips before he pulled back from you, a mock-frown on his face.

"You still haven't fulfilled your end of the bargain." He scolded.

You laughed, finally, unable to hold back before finally saying, "I love you, Saeyoung."

"More." He demanded, kissing your cheek sharply. His glasses tapped against your face, so you pushed them up and out of the way.

"I love you." You repeated, softer and more serious this time. Saeyoung kissed you properly for that. You let yourself melt into his embrace, your body relaxing at the familiar scent of his favorite junk food. You could smell some form of dinner cooking in the kitchen, though. You ignored it for the time being, tilting your head to deepen the kiss as your hands slid down his arms to grab his hands. The press of his skin against your hand made you aware of the rings on both of your fingers, and you found yourself craving just a bit longer in the moment.

The security door issuing a warning for being left open broke the warm moment, and you pulled back with a wince at the actual robot Seven's voice threatening to cause trouble if not properly closed. Saeyoung pushed the door shut without letting go of your hand. When he turned back to you, you were beaming again.

"Hello." You told him. He grinned, and your heart relaxed as it always did to see the warmth in his yellow eyes. It was the best kind of welcome.


	2. As a Thank You

The idea for a picnic had been yours in an effort to get both of the reclusive Choi brothers outside. Both of them rather preferred to sit inside and do their own things (more recently focusing on cars as Saeyoung discovered his little brother eying his babies curiously) than to go outside. Usually it was you who went out and got the sun you enjoyed and visited different places. Saeran wasn't quite emotionally prepared for large crowds yet, but you always worried to Saeyoung about the two of them needing fresh air.

"He likes clouds." You told Saeran one night as you were preparing for bed. Saeyoung's sleeping schedule was still fairly screwed up, so he wasn't planning on getting much sleep that night. He sat up on his phone messaging Yoosung wondering if he should at least attempt to sleep. He wanted to fix his sleep schedule at least a bit so that he could fall asleep with you and manage to _stay_ asleep for a couple of hours. It wasn't like he had to worry about getting work in the middle of the night anymore.

"Clouds?" He asked, paying more attention to you than he was letting on even as he harassed Yoosung. If he was going to stay up all night, he might as well beat Yoosung at some LOLOL.

Your hand slipped around his waist, curling up more against his side. Thoroughly distracted now, he dropped the phone on his pillow to gaze down at his sleepy wife. "Saeran. There aren't any windows in here . . . maybe we should have a picnic!"

Saeyoung didn't realize his brother had a particular love for clouds, but understanding as to why Saeran did hit Saeyoung like a punch to the stomach. He thought back to that day when he and his brother had escaped for a few precious hours from their mother in order to go to get some ice cream. Saeran's innocent wondrous smile as he gazed up at the wide blue sky.

"A picnic?" He rolled onto his side, ignoring the pinging of his phone as Yoosung messaged again, and gazed into your eyes. "But that requires going somewhere."

You smiled, and his heart fluttered at the sight. You still made him breathless with just the smallest sign of your love for him in your eyes. He could still remember how drawn to your picture he had been when he had first looked you up. The picture paled in comparison to the sight of you with your hair strewn about and watching him like there was nothing else in the world.

He was being cheesy again. It was good that he could mostly keep this in his head.

"I know you can live off of junk food like the god that you are . . ." Your fingers danced playfully up his side to his face where you gently tugged off his glasses. He wasn't tired enough to sleep, but he didn't want to correct you in your assumption. You sat up to lean over him and place his glasses on the bedside table. It took shoving over some trash to do so. Saeyoung briefly lamented the loss of his maid, "but everyone needs fresh air." You continued to lean over him, your hair falling around him like a curtain. The grin that spread across his lips was reflexive at the sight of your playfulness. "I think a picnic would be a good idea."

"Ohh?" Saeyoung drawled, bringing his arms up to tuck behind his head. "How will you convince me?"

"Hmmm." You hummed, gradually bringing your face to his. "I could . . ." He waited, his body practically tingling with anticipation, "just go without you." You finished, dropping back onto your side of the bed.

"You can't!" Saeyoung immediately cried, partially offended by the anticlimax of the moment. "You would just run off with my brother?"

"I understand if the great Master Seven is too busy." You lamented with a sigh. "So much he has to do."

"I am _very_ busy." He confirmed solemnly, wrapping his arms around your waist and dragging you back to him. You didn't resist, instead shifting so you were more comfortable as he spooned against you.

"But really," You tilted your head to be able to look at him better, "I think it would be nice."

Saeyoung's playfulness dropped briefly. His hand brushed over your stomach in thought, unable to keep still, as he considered you. "Are you worried?"

"I am." You confessed softly. "I want to help Saeran too."

"You're doing plenty." Saeyoung murmured. He swallowed against his building emotions in his throat. Most of Saeran's healing was something that only Saeran could do, but Saeyoung had also been doing his best to make his brother comfortable living together with him again. The idea had been played around with for Saeran to find a place of his own, but both brothers felt similar panic well in their chests at the thought. Saeyoung only felt a little bad forcing you to have to live with Saeran as well considering your marriage was still fresh, but you never complained.

"I still want to try. And . . . it would be nice for all of us to spend some time together." Saeran kept himself separated still from the rest of the RFA, but it was something they all expected anyway. Even Saeyoung had to force himself into Saeran's space. Luckily his brother was becoming used to it (even if it annoyed him). You were . . . still in a strange state of limbo with your housemate.

Saeyoung wasn't sure how to respond to your honesty. He wasn't sure what kind of face he was making at that moment, but it was enough for you to roll back over and touch his jaw. He swallowed thickly, but it wasn't enough to clear the feeling in his chest. He didn't understand how someone like you existed in his life. It was kindness he didn't deserve. It was your kindness that he loved, and it had been extended now to his brother. You had stayed mostly out of Saeran's recovery out of Saeyoung's own request, but here you were making suggestions anyway.

"What is it?" You asked softly, taking his face between your hands. He took a somewhat shaky breath and tapped his forehead to yours.

"I love you." He confessed brokenly.

"I love you too." You replied, somewhat confused. He kissed you briefly before he visibly pulled himself together and smiled at you. You could see the recovery of his cheerful self even as his eyes continued to swirl with his gratitude.

"Fine then. We'll have a picnic. We'll need to go shopping first."

"You're coming with me, then." You nudged his leg with yours before you decided to twine them together. Saeyoung's restlessness was obvious as he shifted against you, feet wiggling back and forth on the sheets and under the covers.

"Okaaaaaay." He reluctantly caved. "We need more Ph.D Pepper anyway." Your laugh and acquiescence had him burying his face in your hair. He wouldn't be falling asleep any time soon, but he was content with staying there in your arms until you did. He was already thinking about how the picnic would go. He wanted to make happier memories with the two people he loved most. Suddenly he couldn't wait for the picnic.


	3. With Late Sunlight Glowing in Your Hair

You sat in the grass next to Saeran, ignoring the way it made your bare legs itch, and stared up at the clouds with him. The sky was changing colors before your eyes, painting the clouds in a palette of soft colors. You weren't saying anything, but neither was Saeran. He had barely acknowledged you the entirety of the picnic, but you didn't seem to mind too much. That was one of the things Saeyoung loved so much about you was your patience and understanding. At least on the matters that were most important. And you were well aware of how important Saeran was.

The wind blew through your hair, and you ran a hand past your face to clear your vision. Saeran glanced briefly at you and then away, eyes darting awkwardly to the ground before he stubbornly returned his sight to the sky. Saeyoung could see you itching to say something, your mouth opening only to close again, but no words actually came out. Saeyoung stood further back from the two of you, finishing off the last of his chips. The sun was going down, but it was still warm enough out that none of you felt the need to leave yet.

Saeyoung wasn't sure that he had seen his brother this happy in a long while. At least since the wedding. He still hoped that he would at least smile a bit more freely.

Saeyoung had driven them all in one of his babies. The entire time it felt more like he was having two conversations because Saeran didn't really talk to you, but Saeyoung kept going back and forth to comment towards both of you. They talked about cars and the possibility of letting Saeran drive (not any time soon in his baby), but you didn't know a whole lot about cars and couldn't really contribute. But you would try to joke with Saeyoung and encouraged playful teasing with Saeran. Saeran would usually turn his head and stare out of the window.

Now, though, there was a sense of calm between the two of you as you sat there staring at the clouds. Saeyoung would join you, but he didn't want to break the picture. The sight of the two people he loved, backs turned against the evening sun, was enough to leave him a little breathless. This must be what you and him looked like from an outsider's point of view. He wanted to memorize it. Luckily his photographic memory was well on that.

You said something to Saeran in a voice too soft to catch over the rustling of the leaves and the somewhat distant highway. You weren't sure if he was going to respond, but Saeyoung saw Saeran's lips move hesitantly. There was still tension around his body at your proximity (Saeyoung wasn't sure if he just didn't like you, or if Saeran just didn't like anything), but he was gradually relaxing as you two slowly began to talk in short stilted sentences. You pointed at one of the clouds in the sky and began to motion a bit more animatedly as you told a story. Saeran's eyes widened a bit before he narrowed them at you. You laughed at something he said and you shook your head.

Saeyoung sat down on the blanket and watched silently for a long while, his hand fiddling with his phone idly for something to do. He knew that you all should pack up and start heading back, but he was starting to believe that there was some merit in your suggestion about getting some fresh air. His brother's face was warmer now, not the hard mask it had been for months before, and for a bit after the wedding. He was opening up little by little. And the proof of it was the moment Saeyoung saw the brightening smile on his brother's face.

His hand had snapped the picture before he had even fully processed the scene. The camera was loud enough to break the reverie, and both you and Saeran turned to face Saeyoung. Saeran's face fell into a mildly annoyed scowl while you smiled in confusion.

"What are you doing over there?" You asked and pat the spot next to you in invitation.

"Ah, don't mind meee~!" Saeyoung sang cheerfully, looking down at the picture he took. His heart soared as he grinned at his phone. He couldn't wait to show everyone.

"Did you take a picture?" You asked. "Can I see it?"

"Absolutely! Come here!" Saeyoung waved his phone at them.

"Delete it." Saeran said, loudly enough for Saeyoung to hear at the distance.

"Delete a picture of my cute wife?" Saeyoung gasped, horrified. "Never!"

"I'll delete it then." His brother threatened.

"Ah-ah-ah! Only if you can manage to get it!" Saeyoung rolled to his feet. He waved the phone teasingly at Saeran as his fingers dashed expertly over the buttons, getting onto the RFA chat and sending it immediately.

You climbed to your feet as well and brushed off the seat of your shorts before holding your hand out to Saeran. The other man was still glaring at his brother, but he appeared a little startled to see your hand offered to him. His glare fell into something akin to a sulk before he climbed to his feet without taking your hand. You looked nonplussed by it, instead walking with him to rejoin Saeyoung. You made the effort to start cleaning up, but neither brother moved to help. Instead Saeran's hand shot out in an attempt to grab Saeyoung's phone, but the latter danced out of his path.

"'Ohhhhhh! Saeyoung, you two look so cute together~'" He read from the chatroom, copying Yoosung's voice.

"That isn't you." Saeran argued, grabbing at him again. He barely missed Saeyoung's jacket as his brother dodged again.

"I know, right? How could he mistake us! I have the glasses." Saeyoung smirked and pushed up his glasses by the piece between the lenses.

"Delete the picture." Saeran insisted.

"'They look better than you do, Saeyoung!'" This time he was using Zen's voice. "Gah! My heart! My wife stolen by my brother! Is this how my love story ends? All this drama may kill me!" Saeyoung cried out.

"You've caught me!" You called over to them. There was a large smile on your face as you watched the brothers fight over the phone. It was even funnier to see Saeyoung trying to type responses. You would pull out your phone to see the chat yourself if you weren't busy being responsible for cleaning up the mess of the picnic. "He's managed to capture my heart!"

"Betrayal! Treachery! I could see it from the moment he smiled at you!"

"i don't even like her like that! Idiot!" Saeran hissed and then yelped as the men toppled back onto grass. The phone flew from Saeyoung's grip. Both men paused briefly, staring at the free phone. Only Saeyoung scrambled to get it. He crowed his victory and success, but Saeran only rolled his eyes and walked off towards the car. You could see he was pulling out his own phone though. You had a feeling that the brothers would be working against each other tonight.

You grabbed the bag now full of all of your picnic supplies and walked over to the giggling Saeyoung. His cheeks were bright pink and his eyes were sparkling with joy. You bumped your elbow to his and offered the bag, demanding silently that he carry it. He took it without missing a beat on his phone, typing some response to whatever was happening in the chat.

"Meow." You murmured cheerfully to him.

"Meow!" Saeyoung chirped, attention caught from his phone. You noticed some complicated numbers appearing on his screen. You didn't want to know what was happening in there.

"He smiled, Captain Seven." You whispered in a conspirator's voice.

"Good job, soldier!" He patted your shoulder in congratulations. You tugged on the front of his shirt, not content with that praise. "What's this? Getting greedy? I just found out you're a cheating wife." He teased.

"You two look so much alike, I didn't know he wasn't you." You said innocently.

"You think that forgives you of your crimes?"

Your hand ran down his chest, humming in thought. "You're both just so cute. And maybe I wanna be greedy and have both brothers?" Your smile was sly as you looked at him with your head ducked. Saeyoung's face did something complicated at the thought of being in that kind of relationship with you and his brother. Your hand danced back up his chest to tap his nose. "Or not." You tapped his chest with your hand. "I'm just glad to see him enjoying himself."

Saeyoung allowed the joke to fade away rather than let it fester into some interesting thoughts he would possibly bring up at a later date for you. He turned his head to see his brother tapping away on his phone, leaning against the car and waiting. Saeyoung glanced briefly at his phone before tucking it into his pocket. He would have to fix anything his brother messed with when he's at home on his computer.

"Ditto." He told you. His eyes returned to yours as he gently tucked your long hair behind your ear. The honey glow of the late sunlight was doing wondrous things to the strands. He wished he could take another picture, but he had better self control than to take pictures of you every time he wanted to. "You didn't have to do so much for him. For . . . for us." He murmured, his voice thickening just a bit with emotion. Your face softened as he cupped your face. "Thank you."

"Of course I had to." You denied gently, tilting your face into his hand. "I love you, so I love him as well. I want to help both of you."

Saeyoung wasn't so sure he could handle the way his heart was racing in his chest. He would die from happiness, he knew. The tears that built in his eyes were slightly embarrassing, but he blinked them away quickly. He didn't understand how he had managed to catch you. He didn't know what he did in this life or the last to deserve someone like you. He was struck voiceless suddenly against the weight of his own emotions. He couldn't possibly express how perfect the moment was. He was so in love with you that he could barely stand it.

Instead he fell desperately back onto Seven, "Be-because you want to screw us both, right? Haha ha . . . ha!" He cleared his throat realizing how embarrassing he sounded.

You laughed though at how he stumbled and stood on your tiptoes to kiss him. "Exactly!" You said deviously, before spinning around to go to the car where Saeran waited impatiently. Saeyoung took the opportunity to gather himself before he hurried after.


	4. With A Shuddering Gasp

**A/N: Warnings for implied nonexplicit sexual content. I'm not sure if it's enough to warrant a rating upgrade, but let me know if you this so!**

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You cherished him more than words could describe. His smile and his laugh. The voices he made while playing around, and the sudden deepening of his vocals when he was serious. The way he would gaze at you as if there was nothing else in the world, and the way that a small offhand comment of yours would send him pitching over in a fit of laughter. He was the man you had chosen to spend the rest of your life with out of everyone in the entire world, and you wouldn't go back for anything.

His lips mapped a careful and thorough path down your throat as he moved with you. Your nails dug into the meat of his arm, but he didn't complain. Your every sound was pushed out of you in small bursts, unable to form legible words. Not this far into the game. You were certain whatever your mouth was mumbling was nonsense trying to become a language both of you understood, but was failing to do so. Instead you decided to put your mouth back to work as you met his lips and tongue, whimpering at almost every movement.

You knew that he cherished you as well. It was in his every movement. His every idle tapping. His eyes when he looked at you as he did now. In his every drop of sweat and every teasing grin. He murmured his joy into your skin and sang praises (literally) for you when he was in a great mood.

You clung to him, legs straining as you bit your lip. "Don't hurt. . . Your cute lips." Saeyoung admonished. His voice was rough and broken, which only made your body clench at the sound. He moaned, burying his face into the pillow beside your head briefly before he lifted it again.

Your mind raced with possible answers, but was slowed by the honey sweet sensations flooding your brain. You were unable to form words, so you just smiled and made a kissing sound in his direction, licking your swollen lips. He growled once, playfully, before he licked your lips for you. Your buried your hand into his hair as your other hand scraped over his back.

You wanted to thank him for everything. For making the RFA app that led you to the best people you had met in your life. For letting you into his heart. For choosing _you_ of all people to be in this moment with. For every grain of joy that filled your life. For becoming your husband. It wasn't enough.

You gave a sob, but you were unable to tell if it was from your desperate feelings or from the edge of the moment. You thought maybe Saeyoung's name (one of them) slipped through your lips, but it was strained as your neck arched. He laughed, so you must have sounded funny. A huff of air left you automatically in response, and then you laughed harder as your remembered a joke from earlier during foreplay. Your laughs turned into soft sobs.

"Babe . . ." Saeyoung murmured, movements becoming more desperate even as his voice softened in concern. He knew you would tell him to stop if there was a problem.

It wasn't enough. Words pressed against your lungs and your throat. They stampeded on your tongue and cried out through your lips. Your body shuddered at the intensity and your mouth finally went slack without your words being vocalized.

Saeyoung held you through your end, steadying you in the exact moment you needed. And when you rose above the surface of your pleasure, you returned the favor. He gasped your name repeatedly, over and over until your name was nothing but a jumbled mess that he cut off suddenly. Your nails pressed and scratched insistently and soothingly at his hairline and down his back as far as you could reach as words finally found understanding and voice in your throat.

"I-I love you!" You gasped, jerking slightly at the jolt that went through your body. The words shuddered out of you like a prayer. You repeated it again, giggling as you "prayed" to your god. Saeyoung only kissed you again and again as the heat settled between you two to cool. You reluctantly released him as he moved to lay beside you instead, bodies separated. You tried to steady your breath as you said it one more time to him.

Saeyoung threw his arms over his face, laughing quietly and then louder. His cheeks were almost as red as his hair as he shook his head. "I know! I know!" He giggled somewhat breathlessly. "God . . . ! Agh, you're so damn cute!"

You were confused. You rolled over onto your side to face him, shifting a little uncomfortably at the feeling of your body. "What?" You felt there was more to the story there.

He lifted his arm enough to peek a golden eye at you. It was scrunched with amusement as he said, "You were saying it over and over. Between you saying my name . . . ssss. Names."

"Oh god." You blushed, somewhat mortified. He had somehow understood what you had been saying?

"Damn, you're so cute!" He laughed more at your embarrassment, grabbing you and wrapping himself around you. His hand settled cheekily on your bottom as he pressed a solid and prolonged kiss to your forehead before releasing it with a smacking sound. "You didn't even notice!" He chuckled.

"I was preoccupied." You muttered, only somewhat sulkily. You couldn't feel embarrassed for long around him. Especially not snuggled up to him as you were.

"Even if you weren't," Saeyoung said, his voice deepening with that somewhat shy and mostly serious tone, "I would want you to say it over and over again anyway."

"Which part?" You asked, smiling even as your heart kicked back into a flutter at his words. "Your name . . . ssss . . . Or I love you?"

"Both. All of it. Don't ever stop talking." You opened your mouth to respond, but he beat you to it, "You're not talking! What did I just say?"

"If you would let me!" You laughed.

"Just like that! That laugh is music to my ears!" Saeyoung praised. "More."

"I love you, Seven." You kissed his chest.

"More." He commanded still.

"I love you, Luciel." You kissed his cheek.

"Keep going." His grin was threatening to break across his lips.

"I love you, Saeyoung." You murmured and kissed his lips. He hummed with delight.

"Perfect."


	5. In A Blissful Sigh As You Fall Asleep

**A/N: Somehow there's actually some very mild continuity in this story of fluffy ficlets.**

 **It's so strange for me to write so much fluff. Anybody who actually reads my other stories knows that I usually do bittersweet stuff. Makes me question if I'm keeping everyone in character because all this cheesy and sugar sweetness is distracting. Not my forte XD I still love doing it, though, but I don't wanna mess anyone up in the process.**

 **Anyway please enjoy!**

* * *

Saeran was staring at you, but you were becoming used to that. He liked to stare at things, studying them with a trained eye that you recognized he shared with Saeyoung. Both brothers liked to sit down and watch things that fascinated them. If you had to guess correctly, that meant that Saeran probably wanted to somehow hack your brain. You had learned to take that as the compliment that it was considering Saeyoung had babbled about doing the same thing to you. You didn't take Saeran's interest as the same as his brother's, so it was slightly unnerving, but you wouldn't tell him off for it. It was honest curiosity, in your opinion.

Besides, you had a book to distract you. Saeran, to you, was like a wild cat that didn't know how to deal with living with people. It wasn't that he wasn't used to other humans, it was that he wasn't used to _you_. Or Saeyoung, for that matter, although the relationship between the brothers was becoming better. It was a good sign that Saeran actually sat down on the couch near you and stayed there, even if it meant that he would be staring at you.

You considered talking to him to see what he was thinking about, but you weren't sure if that would break the spell and convince him to leave. You didn't know a whole lot about Saeran so for Saeyoung's sake you wanted to get closer to him. It was tough gaining his trust, though, so you would let him come to you if he wanted. But he had come to you now, so you wanted to talk to him. Take advantage of him not just hanging out in his room on his computer.

You didn't get the chance to do so as you heard a jumbled mess of words babble out from the computer room and the door get thrown open. You looked up from your book to see Saeyoung come out, messing up his hair in frustration and dropping his headphones around his neck. It appeared he had stressed himself out too much again as he came over to the side of the couch. He paused only briefly to judge the distance before he flopped over the arm of the couch to land face first in your lap, groaning. He lifted his head briefly to move his glasses from his face before dropping his face again. He was still saying garbled nonsense. Saeran snorted from next to you, turning his head to stare at the television that was turned off.

"God Seven!" You greeted him cheerfully. "Everything okay?"

Saeyoung turned his head so his face was more towards your stomach. At least he could breath like that. His golden eyes were looking up towards you though. You smiled at him, eyes darting back and forth between your book and him. "I can't concentrate!" He complained. "Can't you come read in the room?"

"You can't concentrate because you're tired." You admonished gently. Your hand came to his fluffed up hair and pet it, digging in deep so he could feel your fingers on his scalp. He sighed at the feeling, tilting his head for you to continue.

"Also true." He admitted. The shadows under his eyes were more obvious without his glasses to hide them. You were fairly sure he'd only gotten a couple of hours of sleep in the past few days. You weren't too sure what all he was doing, but the way he was somewhat secretive about it meant it probably had to do with his old work. He wouldn't admit it to you, but you suspected he had picked up a couple of freelance hacking jobs. You would need to work harder to find a better career for him. These late nights weren't going to work for him.

"I could do it instead." Saeran murmured, somewhat reluctantly. Saeyoung startled, lifting his head to rest his chin on your thigh to gaze at his brother. You bit back a sigh. He had almost fallen asleep. You could practically feel the exhaustion coming off of him.

"Oh, yeah? Really?" He asked, somewhat surprised but clearly interested. "Hey, wait!" He pushed himself up on his arms, more awake suddenly. "You're out here! With her!" Saeyoung brought a hand to his face and turned to look at you, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Don't tell me . . . you . . . ?"

"What." Saeran asked flatly, eyes narrowed with suspicion.

"An affair? On MY COUCH?"

"Were we having an affair just now?" The other twin asked you blandly, his voice void of emotion. "You should have told me."

You laughed as Saeyoung cried out in triumph and outrage. "I'll be more explicit next time." You joked back. Saeran's lips twitched into what might possibly be a small smirk, and your felt a thrill at the success of you two being able to get Saeran to start joking.

"And here I thought you may have been kidding about wanting to screw my brother!" Saeyoung lamented, clutching his chest.

It's nothing like that, babe~" You teased Saeyoung. "We were just sitting together."

"That's practically a date for Saeran!" Saeyoung cried and flung himself at you. You gasped as you were suddenly wrapped up in his arms with the weight of his body sitting in your lap. "You can't do this to me~ You're miiiine!" He pressed his cheek to yours and glared sulkily at Saeran, who only rolled his eyes. You giggled and placed aside your book to accommodate his presence. "You can't have my cute wife!"

"I don't want her." Saeran argued. "God."

"I know how tempting she is, though! She's a seductress! A kind angel who brings all to their knees before her before! Suddenly! She's! A SUCCUBUS!" Saeyoung continued.

"What can I say?" You asked with a shrug. "I'm a goddess of many forms."

"Perfect for a god such as I!" Saeyoung kissed you with a smack of his lips.

"Can you two resist flirting when I'm in the room?" Saeran demanded.

"This is flirting?" Saeyoung asked innocently. "This is me worshipping the only other love in my life."

"Other love?" You questioned playfully.

"After God." He winked.

"Do you want me to do the work or what?" Saeran interrupted again as your hands came to wrap around Saeyoung's hips. He cheerfully cuddled against you, slipping his glasses back on to better see his brother.

"You bored?" Saeyoung asked, finally dropping his silly tone to ask seriously. "I thought you didn't want to do my work."

"I'm bored." Saeran confirmed. "And anything is better than watching this."

"Staring at a blank TV would bore me too." You joked.

"It's true." Saeyoung confirmed. "I have scientific proof."

"Besides," Saeran pressed on, refusing to fall for the teasing, "it would be . . . fun . . . to do something else."

"You need a break anyway." You added for Saeyoung's benefit. "Let your brother help."

Saeyoung considered it. You knew he hated having others take over his work for him because he felt responsible for whatever jobs he took on, but you were also aware he always took on too many projects at once. This wasn't the most haggard you had seen him (only Saeran really could match up to Saeyoung's skills), but he was cutting it close. Especially since you were all considering starting to set up another party soon. Jumin still needed to figure out a good date for it.

"I'm doing it anyway." Saeran didn't let Saeyoung answer, already standing to head to the computer room.

"Wait! You don't even know what I'm doing!" Saeyoung protested.

"I'll figure it out." Saeran shut the door sharply to the computer room. Saeyoung slumped a little, sulking properly.

"He's so mean." He complained.

"I think he wants to help you." You decided to voice your opinion.

"You think? I think he's mostly bored."

"It's both."

Saeyoung didn't answer and instead shifted off of your lap to lay back on the couch. He plopped his head back in your lap, though, and your hand automatically went to his hair. You knew the silent demand when you saw it. He had picked it up from you, after all. You wanted your hair played with too. Your fingers danced and scraped over his head, pushing back his fringe and playing with the curls that had developed there. His hair had grown so soft since you had convinced him to start using conditioner. You reflexively pressed a kiss to his bared forehead before you picked up your book to begin reading again, only pausing in your playing to turn the page.

"'m right here 'nd you're reading?" Saeyoung mumbled after a few minutes of silence.

"It's a good book." You explained.

"Give me some attention too~"

You placed your book on his face, grinning. "You _are_ getting attention."

"Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to remove the book."

"Sorry ma'am. I'm reading the gospel."

"Gospel?" Saeyoung asked, surprised. "This is too light to be the Gospel."

"It's the Gospel of me. I'm a god, remember?"

Saeyoung snorted, moving the book when he laughed. "I can see the title. You're a god reading about Greek gods?"

"Gotta study my competition." He laughed more, so you moved the book. His eyes danced with amusement even as they were somewhat glossy with exhaustion. You took off his glasses and placed them on your head instead before resting your hand over his eyes. "Go to sleep, okay? You need some rest."

Saeyoung sighed and then made a humming noise. "It's so nice hearing you say that." His voice slurred a little bit as you ran your fingers back into his hair, pushing it away from his face and ears even when it fell right back into place. His eyes stayed closed. "Having someone care about my health . . ."

"I'm happy to do so." You told him, keeping your voice soft. "Even if that meant I had to learn how to cook better because you can't cook to save your life."

A grin spread lazily across his face before it relaxed into a small smile, the muscles unable to hold the force of it for long. "Thank God I have you, then."

"You're welcome." You teased. "I'll also thank God, though, for you."

His cheeks flushed a bit before he pressed his face into your stomach. "Critical hit." You faintly heard, muffled by the plump of your stomach. "Recovery needed."

"Sleep is the best recovery." You insisted.

He only hummed in response and finally fully relaxed. He inhaled deeply before yawning. "I love you." He sighed.

"I love you too. Now sleep, stubborn man."

"'ll have to make sure . . . Saeran didn't mess with my computer."

"Later."

"Yeah."

You picked up your book to continue your reading as finally he fell asleep. You would make sure to make a nice dinner to thank Saeran tonight.


	6. As We Huddle Together While Storms Rage

**A/N: A little more of a self-indulgent chapter. I gave MC my fear of storms**

* * *

You didn't like storms. You liked the rain just fine, and thunder and lightning didn't bother you much, but you hated storms. Those moments when you could hear the wind howling outside and hear the trees whipping around sent your heart rate spiking while your stomach dropped to your feet. It was impulsive for you to turn on the weather and want to look outside to see if the weather would turn worse, but your house didn't have windows (for security reasons). It was something the both of you had agreed on when you had decided to live together to stay in Saeyoung's house. You hadn't considered the possibility of the summer storms.

Neither Saeyoung nor Saeran were home. The two of them had gone out together to go shopping for some parts earlier in the day and were yet to come home. And Jaehee had sent you home from working with her at the cafe when she saw just how nervous you were starting to become from the storm brewing outside. You didn't tell her why you were so nervous, but thanked her and apologized repeatedly as you fled the cafe to the safety of your house.

You knew that your house was built practically like a bunker with all of its security measures. You knew there were generators that wouldn't let the power fail, but you still imagined being plunged into darkness in a building with no windows or power. You would be essentially trapped because you didn't know how to get out of the house without the security doors. The very thought made you feel claustrophobic. You forced yourself to watch the television, hand twitching on your phone. You were logged into the chatroom, but nobody was on at the moment. Panic danced under your skin as you watched the storms move across the weather radar.

You pulled your blanket around your shoulders tighter and curled up more on the couch. You hated riding out storms alone. There weren't too many bad ones each year, but you hated them each time. Calling friends or messaging them usually kept you calmer, but your mind blanked on who else to talk to other than the RFA members. Meowy was who kept you company, sensing your fear and attempting to cheer you up. You set her to humming a soft song you enjoyed that Saeyoung had programmed into her. Her body vibrated similar to a purr in your lap.

Your fingers hovered over the number 1 button to speed dial Saeyoung, but you didn't want to seem so childish. You were both adults, after all, and he rarely got to spend time with his brother outside of the house. He had been so excited to spend the day shopping with Saeran that you didn't want to ruin it. His name on your contacts list had a little heart next to it, tempting you to call him, but you didn't have the courage.

Desperately you wrote in the chatroom.

 **You** : Hiya~

You were lucky as Zen logged on.

 **Zen** : You're on!

 **Zen** : It's raining badly here. Is it the same for you?

Thunder clapped outside loudly, and you jumped in your skin before shakily typing back,

 **You** : Yes. It's really bad.

 **Zen** : You don't think the power will go out over there, do you?

 **Zen** : Saeyoung doesn't seem like his fortress could fail, though . . ."

You huffed a laugh.

 **You** : I thought the same lolol

 **You** : I don't think it'll go out . . . but Saeyoung isn't here to confirm it.

 **Zen** : He's not there?

 **You** : He went out shopping with Saeran.

 **You** : I'm kind of scared. T-T

 **Zen** : If I was there, I would hold you and comfort you!

 **Zen** : Where is that husband of yours when you need him?

You laughed at that and laid down on the couch, curled away from the television. Meowy adjusted herself to stay close to you, still singing. Talking to someone really was helping, but you had a lonely feeling building in you chest. You ignored the familiar sensation and continued to chat with Zen until someone else logged on.

 **Saeyoung** : hey hey~

 **Saeyoung** : oh! you're on!

 **You** : I'm here, babe.

 **Zen** : Saeyoung! Where are you at right now?

 **Saeyoung** : trapped at the store. me and saeran got stuck here when the storm got bad

 **Saeyoung** : don't wanna get our hair wet lolol

 **Zen** : You should get home quickly! Your wife is scared!

 **You** : It's not that bad . . .

 **Saeyoung** : what? scared? why? what's wrong?

 **Saeyoung** : did something happen?

You buried your face briefly into the pillows of the couch. You hadn't wanted to worry Saeyoung. Now he was on high alert. You looked back up on your phone to see that Saeyoung had called your name before finally just saying,

 **Saeyoung** : i'm calling you right now!

Almost as soon as you read the message, your phone started ringing. You startled at the sound of it, but picked up right away. You could hear people in the background of the phone before Saeyoung quickly asked, "Are you alright?!"

"Yeah, I'm fine." You reassured him swiftly. Hearing his voice again helped to immediately soothe some of your nerves. "Are you okay?"

Saeyoung sighed with relief, but his voice still sounded a little wary. He could probably hear the nerves in your voice. "We're fine too. What's wrong?"

Your fingers stroked Meowy's back idly. "I just, um," you were a bit embarrassed to admit it. you were an adult, after all, "I don't like . . . storms. Like these."

"You don't?" He asked, surprised. "Are you scared of something? The power won't go out or anything. All of that is secured, and there are back up generators."

You had guessed correctly. You gave a chuckle. "I thought so. I-It's just . . . a phobia of sorts. It's not a big deal. Meowy's here with me!"

"Meowy has sensed mistress is in distress, meow!" Meowy said, loud enough for Saeyoung to hear. "Meowy has implemented singing, meow!"

"That's good. I'll just have to come home right away." Saeyoung decided. You heard him turn from the phone to say something to Saeran, probably explaining the scenario. Great, now Saeran would also think you were being childish too.

"You don't have to!" You cried. "I'll be fine, I swear! You don't need to-"

"We'll be home soon, okay?" Saeyoung said, completely ignoring your token protests. "I would stay on the phone with you, but it'll get wet if I do. It won't take us long to get back, so just stay with Meowy. Or talk with the others on the chat room."

"Saeyoung . . ." You tried to protest.

"Don't worry! Your Defender will be back to defend you from the storm soon~ We'll be back as soon as we can, and Saeran will cook!"

"Don't make that choice for me." Saeran grumbled faintly over the phone.

"We'll see you soon!" Saeyoung made a kissing noise before the line went dead. You weren't sure what you were feeling at that moment. Guilt seemed a bit more prominent, but so was happiness. You logged back into the chat room to inform Zen of what was happening, feeling a little bad that you had ditched him there.

 **Zen** : That's good! At least he's doing that.

 **Zen** : I would stay longer, but there are phone calls I have to make.

 **Zen** : Will you be okay if I leave?

 **You** : Yes, thank you. I'll be fine when Saeyoung gets here.

 **Zen** : Then I'll leave.

 **Zen** : You can call me if you need me, alright?

 **Zen** : I'm always just a phone call away~

 **You** : I know. Thank you! Goodbye!

 **Zen** : Bye!

You stayed laying on the couch, forcing yourself not to listen to the storm raging outside. Sometimes the building shook from the force of the nearby thunder, which made you clutch to Meowy. The cat sang louder and purred harder, nuzzling under your chin. You half wished for a real cat for the warmth and soft fur, but they wouldn't stay like Meowy did. Each passing minute felt like it dragged on. You kept looking at the clock on your phone and waiting. You wondered how far your husband was and if he would drive safe in the weather.

A door opening from the garage had you sitting up immediately as Saeyoung and Saeran entered, arms full of items you couldn't quite recognize. From the boxes they appeared to be computer parts, perhaps. Saeyoung quickly put aside his bags to rush over to you, half tackling you onto the couch to hug you.

"Your savior is here!" He crowed, which immediately brought a smile to your lips. He was, as he had mentioned over the chat room, positively soaked, but the warmth of his presence made your now-damp clothes not matter.

"Welcome home!" You greeted, hugging him back happily, relief flooding you.

"I can't have you being scared when I can help you." He told you seriously, kissing your cheek as you both sat up. You maneuvered the two of you off of the couch so he wouldn't wet it.

You weren't sure what to say to that statement, so you ducked your head and smiled shyly. " . . . Thank you." You murmured. A thunder clap made you jump, your skin feeling like it had been electrified. He hugged you tighter at that, shaking his head to fling water everywhere.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were scared of storms?" He asked. You slipped off his glasses so that the water wouldn't block his vision. "I would have paid more attention to the weather so you wouldn't be alone if something large was coming. I'll keep a better eye on it."

"It's really alright." You told him. "And it just . . . never came up." You squeezed his shirt, watching water get wrung out of it. "You're soaked. You should change."

"That would mean letting you go and leaving you alone." Saeyoung protested.

"I'll be fine." You tried again. He once again ignored you.

"Come to the bedroom with me." He said. "I'll change and we can get under the blankets together."

"It'll be so stuffy." You laughed.

"You can warm me up and I'll distract you. Win-win. And Saeran'll cook dinner. Win-win-win. Triple win!"

"Shouldn't he change too?"

Saeyoung lifted his head to look around. "I think he's already on that."

" . . . Okay." You finally conceded. "Let's do that, then." You had to look away, still mildly embarrassed. "Thank you for . . . coming home so fast."

"I don't want you to feel scared ever again." He said seriously. "I want you to be happy. So I'll come running if you need me."

You just smiled at him before kissing him soundly to show your appreciation. "I love you."

"I love you too."


	7. Over Your Shoulder

Cooking was absurdly difficult. Saeyoung didn't really understand the appeal. He knew how to cook in an abstract sense, but he had never really needed to cook for himself. Ms. Vanderwood had always cooked for him, or he would just order out. Or, somewhat more recently, he would just eat his Honey Buddha Chips and call it a meal. Even heating the chips up in the microwave wasn't out of his expertise.

But actual cooking was difficult. He could use a knife fine and could cut up the ingredients necessary, but he always tended to burn or forget ingredients. There was a reason that you or Saeran would do a majority of the cooking. And a majority of that majority fell onto you because Saeran didn't care for cooking either.

You didn't seem to mind it a whole lot, but you became stressed easily while cooking even when you would tell Saeyoung and Saeran all about what you were preparing. Despite how stressed the actual process made you, you loved to look up recipes and try them out to see if the three of you would enjoy it. And with Saeyoung's savings, you had plenty of money to buy whatever you needed. Neither Saeyoung nor Saeran complained (usually) because for the most part the meals were tasty. And it required all of you to sit at the same table since Saeyoung had made it a rule that all of you should eat dinner together if it was made.

Which was why Saeyoung felt that he should attempt to cook once in a while. He worked still, but his job wasn't very physical and sometimes he could get it done within only a couple of hours. You worked multiple times a week for Jaehee and occasionally helping out Zen as a sort-of manager. Which meant that by the time you came home you were tired and sometimes not willing to cook. Which was fine with both of the brothers.

Saeyoung had no more jobs lined up and he was bored, so he found himself in the kitchen with a recipe that he had found on your personal computer. It didn't seem particularly difficult, yet here he was already accidentally skipping steps and cursing under his breath. Suddenly he could see why you became so stressed out when you were cooking. He would yell at him to leave the kitchen too if he were you.

But you weren't home at the moment, and only Saeran was there watching him work and not lifting a finger to help. Saeyoung thought he heard his brother chuckle a couple of times, but each time he turned around Saeran's face was blank and watching him carefully. Saeyoung didn't trust that look, nor the phone in Saeran's hand.

"How the hell do you two do this?" He grumbled to his brother, flinging the sliced pieces of chicken onto the sizzling pan. It hissed and popped, making Saeyoung jump back so the oil wouldn't burn him.

"We practiced." Saeran responded, sounding a little _too_ amused to be completely apathetic to the situation. "You should have as well."

"I didn't need to!" Saeyoung complained.

"Chips won't last you forever, idiot."

"I have plenty. And now I have a wife instead of a maid who's willing to cook for me!"

Saeran scoffed at the mention of his brother's maid. "Sure." And then under his breath he added, "Sexist."

"I'm not!" Saeyoung spun on his brother and motioned with his spatula. "Why do you think I'm cooking now? It's not like I expect her to do all of the cooking for me." He pouted briefly before sighing and scratching his hair. "I want to do more for her . . ."

Saeran didn't respond to that, but Saeyoung didn't expect him to. Things were definitely becoming friendlier between you and him, but Saeran still seemed wary of interaction between the three of you. Saeyoung was just glad his brother was learning to trust again.

"Do you think she'll like it? If I cook? She was really looking forward to this one." A small smile danced across Saeyoung's face. "She looked so excited when she found it. Couldn't stop talking about how much she couldn't wait to make it . . . Ahhhh! I want her to come home sooner and see how I'm doing! I'll show her I can cook too!"

"Not if you let the chicken burn like it's doing." Saeran pointed out, not even looking at his brother anymore as he clicked through his phone.

Saeyoung screamed once in horror and rushed to save his chicken, flipping it over so the other side would cook. He nearly hit his head against the countertop to see that parts of the chicken were blackened. "Shiiiiiiit, whyyyyy?" He whined, shaking his fists. "It wasn't even on there long!"

"The temperature is too high." Saeran muttered.

"The meal's ruined! How can I recover from this? My experience points are too low when it comes to cooking. My skill level wasn't ready for such a simple recipe!" Saeyoung continued to whine, turning down the temperature of the stove. He added the next part of the ingredients anyway.

"Haha." Saeyoung turned to complain more to his brother only to hear the click of a camera and Saeran lowering his phone, smirking at the screen.

"Saeran!"

"Oh look. Absolutely nobody in the RFA is surprised at your failure, brother."

"I can't believe how my own flesh and blood would sell me out like that."

"Everyone became excited as soon as they learned you were cooking." Saeran commented, sounding completely unrepentant. "I was told to get a fire extinguisher. There were many doubters."

"Some friends." Saeyoung muttered, stirring his meal around in the pan.

Neither brother talked for a long period of time. Saeyoung focused on getting the meal right while Saeran no-doubt talked shit about him with the others in the RFA chat room. He hoped that you would like the meal even with the burnt chicken. You didn't seem to be overly picky about that kind of stuff, but it was still a nasty blow to the pride to prove that he really did suck at cooking. Maybe he should take cooking lessons or look up some videos on Metube.

Maybe Jumin was onto something about calling chefs in to make fantastic meals, but Saeyoung didn't want his security breached like that. Maybe Yoosung could give him some tips. Ever since his mom had stayed for a while, Yoosung had really cracked down on his own life to make it better and be more responsible. And Yoosung wouldn't be as cruel about his teasing. Not that Saeyoung couldn't dish it back out. But chances were that he would be distracted by messing with Yoosung anyway.

"You're cooking?" Saeyoung turned his head as arms wrapped around his waist. His spirits picked up instantly to feel you hugging him from behind, standing on your toes in an attempt to see what he was cooking. "Should I get the fire extinguisher?" You teased.

That kind of hurt. Saeyoung couldn't quite keep the sulk out of his voice as he muttered, "It's not that bad."

You picked up on it immediately, just like you always could read his mood. "No, it really isn't. It smells really good." You took a deep breath. "Is that my recipe?"

"I thought I'd cook it." Saeyoung told you, his cheer back now that his efforts had been praised. "Since you cook all of the time."

"Thank you." You pressed a kiss to his neck, causing him to stiffen briefly in surprise before shooting you a smile. "Seriously. Cooking is a pain."

"It sucks!" He agreed. He checked to make sure his food was okay as he grabbed your hand and squeezed it. You tightened your hug around him, smiling against his shoulder. "But it looks like it'll be good."

"I'll love it. I love this." You murmured against his shoulder. "Love you. I'll make it up to you."

"Ohh~? And how will you do that~?" He asked, his voice lilting teasingly. Your eyes danced with mischief as you told him exactly what you would like to do to him. He laughed somewhat nervously, flustered at how bold you were. "Whoa there! My brother is right . . ."

"Out in the living room." You finished. "He walked off when I came home." Your hands slid down his hips towards his legs and then back up. "Next time wear an apron."

" _Just_ an apron?"

You pouted. "I was gonna surprise you with that."

"Changed my mind!" Saeyoung said quickly. "Rewind! Forget I said anything! I have deleted the knowledge from my head! So make sure you surprise me!"

You laughed, burying your face into his back before releasing him as he needed to move onto the next part of the meal. "What did you delete?" You asked.

"No idea. Can't seem to remember. Oh well~"

You hummed your acknowledgement and went over to help gather ingredients for him to finish up the meal, and then paused. You made sure you had read the recipe correctly before a smile spread across your lips. It was just too funny.

"So. Babe?"

"Yeah?" Saeyoung asked, staring at the recipe to measure out the ingredients correctly.

"This is shredded lettuce, not cabbage."

"What?" He asked, lifting his head.

"You put shredded lettuce in." Your laughter was barely being restrained, but it burst out of you as Saeyoung cursed loudly.

"Cooking sucks!"

"At least it's not on fire." You heard Saeran call from the living room, hearing his brother's yelling. Your laughter only became louder at that.


	8. Without Really Meaning It

The fight was the first that you two had ever had, and Saeyoung knew that it was because of the build up of stress. He still had bad memories of hacking, but it was what he was good at so he continued despite not enjoying it. The job he was given was high risk and threatened to cause major damage to innocent people if he didn't get it done. He wouldn't have accepted it if he had known. He had been lied to. Originally he had been suspicious of the high price, but he had still accepted it anyway because his money was starting to become tight and he didn't want to sell any of his cars. He shouldn't have accepted it.

He was able to get the job done, but he wondered if it was worth it as his ears rang with your screams. You had never lost your patience with him, but he knew you were stressed too. You had been working hard between the parties, being Zen's manager, and working for Jaehee that Saeyoung had barely seen you in days. Your sleep schedules didn't align, and dinners had come to a halt.

He knew it wasn't your fault, and even though he knew you would say the same for him, he blamed himself. The screaming had started originally over a bitter comment you had made without realizing how much it had stung him, and Saeyoung had retorted with enough snide feeling in his voice to set off a string of complaints and annoyances that were blown out of proportion. You were tired of being his maid. He was tired of you leaving your laundry everywhere. You didn't want to come home every day to a practically-empty house. He wanted you to stop having so many jobs. You wanted him to get a different job.

Over and back and forth you two bickered until Saeyoung finally said, "Oh, I love you SO MUCH right now!" The sarcasm whipped out out of harsher than any of his previous words and he saw how deep the wounds had cut. Fury and hurt welled up in your eyes, making them water, before you stormed out of the house. Unable to vent the pain in his chest and mind and having too much pride to chase after you to apologize, he slammed the door to his computer room to spend hours on LOLOL.

Now he dropped his face into his hands and stared at the game on his computer, untouched for the last five minutes. Saeyoung had wanted to have fights over nothing, but he didn't think he would feel like this. Your complaints were loud in his mind. He agreed with some of them and thought about changing his ways, but he also knew that he couldn't see himself changing a whole lot. He didn't realize it all had bothered you so much. He hadn't meant to yell at you about little things that didn't even bother him all that much in retrospect.

(Well, except for the job thing. He didn't want you working so many jobs. He knew it was wearing on you.)

Saeyoung dropped his face onto his arms. He wanted to bury himself into his jacket and disappear. He had joked at one point or another about possibly building a time machine, but maybe he should be serious about it now. He shouldn't have taken out his frustration on you when he had finally been able to spend time with you for the first time in over a week. And now you were gone.

He took a deep breath and then let it out in a whoosh. He felt a little calmer, but not really any happier. He grabbed his phone and exited the computer room to see his brother calmly doing a puzzle at the table. The stop light above him was red at the moment. Saeyoung clicked the speed dial for your number, but didn't call you yet, hesitating. Saeran had made himself scarce when both of your voices had started raising, and suddenly Saeyoung's guilt and sorrow intensified. He quickly joined his brother.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked quickly.

Saeran glanced at him and back down at his puzzle. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Saeyoung hated to hear you yell, but he knew his brother would have it worse with the memories of their mother. He lowered himself to the floor next to his sibling and was glad with the other man didn't pull away. Saeyoung didn't tell him that he needed comfort, and Saeran didn't say that he would like some emotional support, but both of them stayed near each other anyway.

"Yeah. First time I've heard you two fight." Saeran sighed just a pit, connecting two pieces of his puzzle together. "It sounded stupid."

"It was. I said something cruel." Saeyoung confessed, dropping his head with a thump to the table. The puzzle pieces jumped from the force.

"Watch it."

"Sorry." He gazed at your name on his phone. ". . . I should call her."

"Do it then."

Saeyoung listened and dialed your number, his heart pounding in his chest. He waited through one ring, two, then three. He sat up sharply as his call went to voicemail, stomach dropping a bit. He didn't bother to leave a message, instead choosing to call a second time. Again you didn't answer. He tried one more time with no success before he gave up, dropping his head again.

"She's actually mad at me." He murmured in shock. "She's never been angry with me."

"Maybe you actually messed up." Saeran suggested.

"You don't think so, do you?" Saeyoung cried. Maybe he had really been too harsh with his words.

"How should I know? She's your wife."

"Saeran! Comfort your brother more!" He whined.

"You're seriously gonna play around right now?" His twin shot him a dubious look.

Saeyoung dropped his attempt at humor, running at hand into his hair. "No."

His regret for the situation increased. He wanted to apologize for yelling like he had. His temper could be sharp at times and you didn't deserve it. He shouldn't have argued back when you had attacked him earlier. If you could be patient with him, he could at least return the favor. He just wished that he could've thought that rationally back when the fight had occurred.

Instead he went onto the chat room to see if you were possibly on it.

* * *

 **Jaehee Kang:** Saeyoung . . . ?

 **Saeyoung:** Hey hey.

 **Jaehee Kang:** There you are.

 **Jaehee Kang:** Your wife is over here. Did something happen?

 **Saeyoung:** She is?!

 **Yoosung:** Hey guys!

 **Jumin Han:** Hello.

 **Yoosung:** Wait, what happened?

 **Jumin Han:** It's not easy to upset her.

 **Jumin Han:** You must have said something really cruel.

 **Yoosung:** That's just mean!

 **Saeyoung:**. . . He isn't completely wrong.

 **Jaehee Kang:** So something did happen.

 **Jaehee Kang:** She won't talk about it . . . but I believe she . . . was crying.

 **Zen:** DID YOU HURT HER?!

 **Zen:** Tell her to come see me! I'll comfort her since her husband is being mean!

 **Yoosung:** I don't think this is the time to say things like that, Zen;;;

 **Zen:** I don't mean it in a bad way!;;;;

 **Saeyoung:** She won't answer her phone. Can you tell her to get online?

 **Jaehee Kang:** I'll tell her.

 **Zen:** I hope you two aren't going to fight in the chat room. Although whatever it is, I'm siding with her!

 **Yoosung:** Are you alright, Saeyoung?

 **Saeyoung:** It's . . . a long story.

 **Saeyoung:** We fought over stupid shit.

 **Yoosung:** Your first fight!

 **Zen:** Congratulations! You're officially a married couple!

 **Saeyoung:** Shut it.

 **Jumin Han:** Congratulations.

 **Jaehee Kang:** I will say congratulations as well.

 **Saeyoung:** Is she coming?

 **Jaehee Kang:** I did ask her . . .

 **Jaehee Kang:** Oh, she's coming right now.

 **[You have entered the chatroom.]**

 **You:** I don't want to talk right now.

 **[You have left the chatroom.]**

 **Zen:**. . .

 **Yoosung:** Ouch . . .

 **Saeyoung:** Fuck.

 **Saeyoung:** I messed up.

 **Jaehee Kang:** I will try to talk to her for you?

 **[Saeyoung has left the chatroom.]**


	9. Not Said to Me

It had been thanks to your constant encouragement that had convinced Jaehee to quit working for Jumin. And with your support, she had followed a passion of hers and had opened up a cafe that you two now co-owned together. You worked with her there because it was a nice-paying job and it wasn't overly stressful. And because you were a co-owner, Jaehee wasn't against you having to leave work in order to help out Zen with his career. The two of you together also worked as one manager for him.

In other words, you and Jaehee were very close together. The woman didn't understand all of your jokes, but she was comfortable and supported you in a way that the other men in your life couldn't. She was a rational woman, and you admired and aspired to be like her when she set her mind to things. You stopped her from becoming overtaxed, and she gave you the kick in the ass you needed in order to not complain and to do your jobs well. She wouldn't allow for you to slack in any way.

Which made the situation you were in awkward for the both of you. You could tell that Jaehee wanted to encourage you to make up with Saeyoung, but she seemed reluctant to talk too much about it considering you shut down whenever she did. Instead you both chose not to talk about it and sat together on her couch to watch some of Zen's movies and discuss your shared work. However talking about work only made you remember the words your husband had yelled at you, scolding you for working so many jobs at once. You didn't know if he was just angrily expressing his worry for your building stress, or if he honestly had a problem with you working so much. It wasn't like you could ask.

Slowly you had told Jaehee what had happened, recounting everything you could remember while fighting off you hurt and anger. But by the end of it you only felt drained and guilty. The fight, put into perspective, had all started with you. You had snapped at Saeyoung, and he had fought back. The thought made your jaw clench, angry at yourself then.

"This is normal, I believe." Jaehee told you gently, serving you a cup of coffee of your favorite mixture. "Couples argue quite a lot."

"I know." You agreed reluctantly. "But . . . I hate that I started it. He . . . His mother . . ." You bit back your words, unsure if you should mention it. But you could tell by the look in Jaehee's eyes that she understood what you were attempting to say. She must know, you realized. Or at least she knew enough. You didn't have to finish what you had been attempting to say. She touched your hand and squeezed it.

"It looks like Saeyoung regrets the fight as well." She told you. "You should try to talk to him. It sounds like to me both of you were stressed out and took it out on each other."

"But I can't!" You burst out and placed your cup on her counter a little sharply. You quickly apologized for it and ran your hands over your face, wiping away the water that had attempted to well in your eyes. "Because I'm not . . . I was angry and shouted at him, but I was serious about some of those things! And then he! He!" You swallowed thickly recalling the vicious sarcasm he had thrown at you, using words that were meant to show love as a weapon instead.

Jaehee called your name softly and brought you back to the present. You gave a soft sob and shook your head. "What if he meant what he said? About the little things? That they annoy him that much? We've never fought before, Jaehee. I never . . . I never wanted to hurt him. And he didn't want to hurt me. But he said such cruel things . . ."

"Yes, he did." She agreed wholeheartedly. You smiled a tiny bit just picturing her glasses sparkling in the light just like in anime. "However sitting around and considering 'what-ifs' rather than just discussing it directly with him will just continue to blow any misunderstandings or harsh words out of proportion so that it continues to hurt you both."

You knew she was right. "And if we fight again?" You ask timidly.

"Then you fight again." Jaehee said simply, taking a sip of her own coffee. You copied her. "And you two will continue to fight until an understanding is met. That is how relationships work."

You couldn't help the small smile that teased your lips. "You sound like you know a lot about this."

"I am not completely inexperienced with dating. And besides," she adjusted the cuff of her shirt somewhat restlessly, "such advice is useful in any field in your life. You have taught me that in terms of my job and my dreams."

"Jaehee . . ." You breathed, touched.

"Also I would like to point out," She added, "that Saeyoung has not been in a romantic relationship before. The two of you did move rather quickly towards marriage, but all of us can tell you are good for each other. But because you two moved so quickly, you have to be sure to leave room to adjust to the bad parts of your lives too. And not just the drastically bad parts."

"Why are you so smart?" You asked, laying your head on her countertop in thorough defeat.

"Experience." She stated simply.

"You're not much older than me." You pointed out.

"But I _have_ spent two years longer in the RFA than you. Which means I have dealt with all of the males in our group long enough to know when you all are being ridiculous."

"Okay~" You gave in and grabbed your phone. However you couldn't bring yourself to unlock it. You knew you should call him and just talk about everything, but the wounds were still raw. His words still burned you despite Jaehee's reassurances. You hadn't expected him to ever say those words so caustically. You had never even known he could talk like that to you.

No, that wasn't quite right. Saeyoung had lashed out at you like that too back when you had both been in Rika's apartment. Back then he had been trying desperately to fend you off and push you away. You hadn't taken any of his words personally then. You admired the you of the past who could hold fast like that. Perhaps knowing his affections first hand had made you a bit weaker. Your heart had been opened to him, and he had -whether by accident or on purpose- hurt you because of it.

You would talk to him, but you couldn't quite handle it right then. Your friends had already messaged you separately to make sure that you were okay and with their own reassurances that Saeyoung was clearly regretful. Even Saeran had messaged you briefly to inform you that Saeyoung had collapsed on the floor and hadn't gotten up even when Saeran had kicked him a bit. You could sense both Saeran's exasperation and worry in the single message to you. You didn't want Saeyoung to be upset or guilty because the fight was just as much your fault as it was his, but you still weren't ready to talk again.

Jaehee called your name again, seeing how you had been hesitating while staring at your phone. "Are you alright?" She asked.

"Yeah, I just." You didn't finish.

"Perhaps you should call Zen up? He is better at love advice than I am."

You huffed a laugh. "No, it's alright." You put your phone on the counter before suddenly a familiar ringtone startled you both. You picked it back up to see your husband's profile picture and name. Apparently Saeran must have hacked his account, because the picture was replaced with just an image of Saeyoung face down on the floor with Meowy next to him. It was funny and made you smile just a bit even as you panicked at the phone call.

You didn't pick up and let it go to voicemail.

Jaehee watched you without speaking, her confusion and disapproval obvious. You felt scolded even without her saying a word. "I need a bit more time." You confessed to her, hoping to appease the woman you considered your best friend and almost-sister.

"Do you love him?" She asked you instead.

"Of course." You responded immediately. "I love him a lot."

She smiled at you. "Then you two will be fine." She stood up to take her empty cup to the sink. "You may stay the night here if you wish, but please leave and do something about your relationship in the morning."

"I may not stay all night." You admitted, fingering your almost-cool cup of coffee.

"That is fine as well. Good luck."


	10. As An Apology

**[19:28]**

 **You:** Saeran?

 **[19:30]**

 **Saeran:** Hm?

 **[19:30]**

 **You:** Do you mind leaving the house for a short while?

 **You:** I'm worried.

 **[19:31]**

 **Saeran:** If you're referring to my brother

 **Saeran:** then stop worrying and just do something.

 **[19:32]**

 **Saeran:** He's building useless things and taking them apart.

 **[19:32]**

 **You:** ...He is?

 **[19:32]**

 **Saeran:** He took apart the remote. Annoying.

 **Saeran:** Come home.

 **[19:33]**

 **You:** I will. I'm going to.

 **[19:33]**

 **Saeran:** Good. When?

 **[19:34]**

 **You:** I don't want you to be there. You don't like yelling, right? Just in case we argue again...are you ok with leaving?

 **[19:36]**

 **Saeran:** Fine, I will.

 **[19:37]**

 **You:** Thank you. T-T

 **You:** Also . . . I'm sorry you had to hear that fight earlier.

 **[19:45]**

 **Saeran:** It doesn't matter. Come home. I'm leaving now.

* * *

Saeyoung had fucked up. He had fucked up badly and he knew it. His good memory allowed him to recall enough of the fight to regret all of his words. If he had just kept his cool, he wouldn't have said such things to you. Logic told him that you would forgive him for the stupid words (you loved him. He _knew_ this. And couples fought. It was okay. It was _natural._ ), but his emotions said differently. You two had never fought before. At least, you've never fought _him_ before. He didn't have a set pattern ingrained into his mind. Your reaction was a wild card. An unknown variable. An undefinable quantity that he could do nothing with because he _couldn't talk to you_.

He seriously considered setting to work on a time machine. His hands had already spent the last three hours building another robot cat much like Meowy (this one named Nyancy) that was tiny and portable and could record. It had already recorded him talking to himself, calling himself an idiot and practicing what he would say when he apologized to you. It had felt a little satisfying to hear something else call him an idiot because surprisingly Saeran was being nice enough by not berating him too much.

Currently he was still laying on the floor. He wasn't quite sure how long he had been lying there, but he had attempted to call you a number of times already. You didn't pick up for a single one, but he knew your phone wasn't off because it rang completely through and went to voicemail. He had tracked your phone already, but it only confirmed that you were still at Jaehee's house. Calling Jaehee was pointless, although he had been tempted to call her so she would give the phone to you. But he knew Jaehee enough to know the woman wouldn't do something like that if you didn't want her to, so he didn't try. He didn't want to get up from his spot, choosing instead to stare at his phone willing you to call even as Nyancy occasionally berated him using his own voice recording. It was really such a cute cat even considering its bad mouth.

Saeran had tried to get Saeyoung to get up not long ago by kicking him a bit, but he had stopped after a while. The most he had complained was when Saeyoung had ripped apart the television remote for parts because his idle hands had needed something to do. After getting somewhat scolded by his twin, Saeran had left Saeyoung to being pitiful on the floor and alone with his thoughts. Even Nyancy couldn't block out the 20/20 hindsight with his voice.

"I'm leaving." Saeran announced, his bag thrown over his shoulder. That had Saeyoung sitting up quickly, blood rushing from his face.

"You're leaving too?" He asked, a little more panicked than he would've preferred. His heart rate skyrocketed, images of you and Saeran never coming back and having to once again live alone. Saeyoung wasn't sure that he could deal with that again now that he was used to it.

Saeran, just like Saeyoung, could sense his brother's sudden anxiety. He shared a look with his twin and his face relaxed ever so slightly. He seemed somewhat embarrassed as he muttered, "I'm . . . going to Yoosung's. He promised to help me make an account on LOLOL and show me . . . how to play."

Saeyoung experienced conflicting feelings at once. He was ecstatic that his brother was taking the initiative to go hang out with other people in the RFA (and honestly Yoosung was a great first choice because Yoosung was Saeyoung's best bro), but he also felt a bit offended that Saeran hadn't asked him to show him LOLOL first. Wait, had he even played LOLOL around his brother before? Maybe he couldn't be offended about that.

"Right now?" He finally asked.

"Yes. I'm taking one of your cars." Saeran only gave a short courtesy wave before he went out into the garage. Saeyoung scrambled to his feet and ran after him.

"Wait! Not my babe!" He yelled, but Saeran had already gotten Saeyoung's favorite car started. The twin gave a small mock salute before the garage door opened and he drove off. Saeyoung deflated as he watched the garage door close and the security system activate again. How had his brother become so fast at that? Also how did he know that Saeyoung kept his spare keys under the license plate? He didn't remember telling his brother that.

He reentered the house and stood in the middle of the room. He listened, but didn't hear a single sound other than the faint hum of electronics. His stomach swooped a bit and he felt ill and very alone. He wasn't used to it being so silent anymore. And even when it was silent in the house, he could tell there were others living in it. He had no idea when you were coming home ( _if_ you were coming home, his treacherous mind whispered viciously), and it seemed that Saeran would be gone the rest of the night.

"Cheer up, meow!" Meowy trotted over and rubbed himself against Saeyoung's leg. "You won't be sad for long, meow! You can't be sad when mistress will be home, meow!"

"Yeah, yeah." Saeyoung muttered, shooing Meowy.

"Idiot! Such an asshole!" Nyancy piped up from his spot near Meowy. Meowy, in response, shoved the cat over. It gave a tiny cry as it fell onto its flat back and flailed in the attempt to get up.

Saeyoung ran his hands over his face and under his glasses, rubbing his eyes. It was somewhat late and normally he would've already eaten, but he didn't feel like having any food. Even his chips didn't really appeal to him at the moment. His stomach growled in protest, but the little bastard was also the one flipping over and over and generally feeling unpleasant, so he paid it no mind.

"Shut down." He commanded both of the robotic cats.

"Not until master has cheered up, meow~" Meowy sang.

"Master is stupid!" Nyancy responded.

"You're right. But I'm going to shower. So shut down." Saeyoung told them.

"Shutting down!" Both cats agreed before beginning their power-down sequences. He left them to that as he went into the bathroom to strip. He sighed and paused on the threshold of the shower, remembering his last biting words to you, and grabbed his phone one more time to attempt to call you. This time his phone went almost immediately to voicemail. He cursed and let his head thump back against the wall. How was he supposed to fix this if you wouldn't talk to him?

Maybe you didn't want to fix things, his mind supplied as he started the shower. Maybe Saeyoung had taken it too far this time. You two had dated for a short period of time before getting married. And you had lived together for a good portion of your relationship together. And you both had been so caught up with Saeran and with the RFA that neither of you had had time to really explore the other nuances of your relationship.

Maybe you were seeing that now. That Saeyoung wasn't good at relationships. That he said the wrong thing at the wrong time. It had nearly gotten him killed on more than one occasion. That this was the real him and not the happy Seven-Zero-Seven.

But you wouldn't do that, right? You had known all of this going into the relationship. And you had still stayed with him. Maybe it was too much this time. He just didn't know. His mind felt like it was cracking at the seams. There were so many what-ifs and could-bes that his mind kept circling itself like an idiotic dog trying to catch its tail.

His head thudded against the wall of the shower as he blinked water from his eyes repeatedly. He wouldn't be able to stop his thoughts until he at least talked to you. He needed to at least judge your emotions. He wanted to see you.

A knock on the door startled Saeyoung out of his thoughts and he froze. Maybe he had imagined it? Was it Saeran back having forgotten something? He waited, his nerves on edge as years of training kept him alert and wary. Nobody could get past his security system, but it was always good to be on guard. Especially since he had just finished a high-risk job. He doubted anyone could trace it back to him . . . but still.

The knock sounded again. This time he was certain he heard it. "Who is it~?" Saeyoung called playfully. Being lighthearted always caught people off-guard.

". . . It's me." Saeyoung stumbled to turn off the shower as he heard your voice, immediately grabbing his towel.

"You're back!" He called. He barely missed slipping on the floor in his haste and grabbed the handle to yank the door open, but you grabbed it and slammed it shut. He only gave a short tug to realize that you were holding the door shut. It gave him pause. ". . . Why won't you open the door?" He asked quietly.

"J-Just . . . hear me out please." You begged him, and he couldn't say no to that. His body felt cold in more ways than one.

". . . Yeah. Okay." He responded. There was a silence that hung between you two, as thick and suffocating. He could just picture you on the other side of the door clutching the doorknob. He heard you take a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry." You finally said. Goosebumps prickled across his arms as his blood drained in fear. But you quickly continued with the words stumbling out of your mouth now, "I was so mean earlier. And stressed out. And I yelled at you. And I complained a lot. And I didn't mean to. I just get frustrated so easily over stupid things when I'm stressed out and you didn't deserve any of that!" Even though you were just on the other side of the door, your voice was muffled by the wood.

"No, stop!" Saeyoung pleaded. "I-It's not your fault. I shouldn't have argued back!" His head thumped against the door.

"Saeyoung-"

"I knew we were both stressed." He insisted. "And I know you didn't mean to snap at me. But I couldn't stop myself. I'm so sorry."

"I . . ." You hesitated, and Saeyoung felt a soft thud from the other side of the door. "I forgive you." You finally said quietly. "But only if you forgive me too?"

He closed his eyes, his heart already feeling lighter. "Of course I do, babe." He murmured.

"But . . ." You continued, and he heard your voice tremble a bit, "did you . . . um." He waited, his hand gripping the doorknob tight enough to hurt his hand. He wanted to yank the door open and wrap his arms around you. He just wanted to hold you and not let go. But he waited, half-terrified of what you would say next. Finally you seemed to find the words you wanted. "The next time we fight . . ." and you huffed a sardonic laugh, "please . . . please don't ever tell me you love me sarcastically. I can't bear it, Saeyoung. You've told me you love me in so many ways . . . but I never want to hear you say it like that again. Please." You begged him. He could hear the tremble in your voice.

"God!" He inhaled shakily. "I won't. I'm so sorry. Let me open the door. Please." His body was vibrating with his need. He wouldn't be able to hold back soon. You weren't strong enough to stop him from yanking open the doors if he wanted to.

The knob jiggled just slightly, and he pulled open the door to immediately envelop you in his arms. Neither of you minded that he was still fairly soaked as he clutched you to him. Your arms wrapped around his back and squeezed, pressing your face to his shoulder. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed a kiss to your temple.

"I love you." He swore. "I love you so much. Even when you're angry."

You laughed wetly and briefly pressed your face to his neck as you said playfully, "What? Were you j-just being truthful in a, uh, sarcastic tone earlier?"

"Yes. Absolutely." He lied. "Next time no sarcasm at all."

"Okay." You pulled your face back. Your eyes were so red and the stress was still there on your face. He hated that he did that to you. "Okay, Saeyoung."

Saeyoung kissed your eyes. And then he kissed you firmly on the mouth. Your arms wrapped around his neck, melting into his hold completely so you both fell back against the wall. The kiss tasted of salt and coffee. He took in the scent of you and how your hair felt between his fingers. His heart felt so much lighter even as it threatened to beat out of his chest. He just needed this moment to be like it was forever. Maybe he would make the time machine just so he could stop time. That was a better plan. You would love that idea, he was sure.

You pulled back from him though, your cheeks bright pink and your eyes shiny. Saeyoung was glad suddenly that the wall was supporting him as that beautiful teasing smile spread across your face and you glanced down between you two. "Well." You said, tilting your head just a little before you looked back up at him. "Should we take advantage of your state of undress?"

Saeyoung thanked God that Saeran had the perfect timing to leave the house. "Make up sex?" He suggested.

"The only thing the fights are worth." You agreed, pressing close to him again.

"Saeran's not home." He murmured.

"Oh?" You responded, something knowing in your voice. "How convenient. Let's . . . make up then." Your hand trailed down over Saeyoung's bare stomach lower and lower, and his smile just widened.

"I have just the spot." Your giggles in response to that made his night all the better.


	11. Too Quick, Your Smile Against Mine

You were digging through Saeyoung's surprisingly-large closet, pushing clothing aside and really taking the time to explore it. You had been married to Saeyoung and living with him for a number of months already, but you had never really stopped to look at the expansive collection of Saeyoung's clothes. Most of the time you only went into the closet to grab your own clothes, but now your curiosity was piqued. He really had so many interesting outfits. Some were costumes, but most were just casual or dressy clothes.

You didn't agree with all of his taste in fashion, but Saeyoung had some _really_ cute outfits. Why didn't he wear more of the clothes? Usually he was content to wear a button up and some jeans, or just a tee shirt and whatever shorts he found on the floor of his closet. Really many of the clothing barely looked worn. You pulled out one of the dresses you found and held it up to yourself, taking in how you might look in it as you gazed at your reflection in the mirror.

Saeyoung also had a number of wigs that ranged in size and color. Some were long and others were short. He had pairs of glasses and accessories stored in a box that was also very interesting to go through. It was almost like you could play a game of dress up if you wanted. Which you somewhat did. But you were more interested in something else at the moment.

"Saeyoung?" You called somewhat loudly. When he didn't respond, you peeked out of the closet. He had his headphones on while he bobbed his head to the beat and hummed. You recognized the song. His one hand was typing something on your laptop while his other was tapping to the beat. He seemed interested if slightly bored while he got you the best antivirus for your new computer that a person could get. Even if it was through illegal means. The perks of having a professional hacker husband.

"Saeyoung!" You called again, this time waving your hand to catch his attention. His eyes darted to you before he focused properly, pulling his headphones down.

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you wear any of these?" You asked, motioning to the clothes.

"Don't feel like it." He shrugged and avoided your eyes, focusing a bit too casually on your computer. It wasn't quite enough to make you think he was honestly just not that interested in your conversation. Even when Saeyoung honestly didn't care what you would talk about, he would at least keep his eyes on you to show that he was paying attention. Unless he had something particularly important to keep his eyes on. And your little antivirus was not important enough. He couldn't fool you.

"They look so good, though." You protested, grabbing a different dress to hold against your body. You exited the closet and spun around with the dress pinned to your body. It had a nice flow to it, its forest green material twirling with you. It would be a good summer dress, you thought.

"Pick one and wear one, then." He suggested, smiling. He leaned his cheek on his hand as he watched you. "Can't say I don't have good taste~"

"Your taste is questionable." You sniffed and stuck your nose in the air. But then you winked playfully at him and danced back into the closet to hang the dress back up. "After all, this color doesn't suit you." You held out at blouse to him.

"That's why I have wigs." He pointed out.

"Let's go on a date." You decided.

"Right now?"

"Right now~!" You sang. "I have a need~ An itch that needs to be scratched~"

"There's ointment for that." Saeyoung joked, placing aside your laptop and his headphones and joining you in the closet. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed playfully against him in a hug.

"I prefer natural remedies."

"We might have baking soda . . ."

You leaned into his ear, ignoring his teasing grin, and murmured, "Let's switch roles for today."

"Ooh~" His hands came to your hips, wiggling them for you before his fingers pranced up your sides. "Someone's getting kinky~"

"I meant in a non-sexual sense." You laughed, although you did make a note that he didn't seem against role-reversal in bed. You supposed that you should've expected that. This was Saeyoung you were talking about, after all. "Pick out a dress for yourself. And a wig for me. Let's switch."

Saeyoung's eyes lit up immediately, and the little bit of reservation he seemed to have had when you started talking about the clothing disappeared. He kissed you quickly and said "I love you" but it was smooshed between both of your mouths. You only giggled as he tore himself away from you and made a direct line towards the warmer clothing, singing under his breath cheerfully. You, in turn, set to work finding a decent winter outfit. You weren't sure what wig you would wear, but you definitely wanted to look the part of a guy.

"You'll have to help me with my hair, babe. I can't put it up myself. I've never worn a wig." You told him.

"Already on it. I had to help Ms. Vanderwood with her hair a couple of times in the past for some missions." He yanked out two jackets and held them to himself, posing with puckered lips. "What do you think? My color? Or my color? I have to look great for our first date, honey-cakes." His voice was pitched a bit higher, but not in a falsetto that most guys used when pretending to be a female. Saeyoung actually was able to pitch his voice to sound like he had _always_ talked that way. You were impressed. His impressions were really spot on. It reminded you of when he had pretended to be Jumin on the phone. He had been really convincing.

You attempted to at least make your voice just a bit rougher. It didn't sound as smooth or natural as Saeyoung's imitation, but you thought you sounded a bit more masculine. "They both look beautiful on you. Give me something cute, though. I want to see you in your finest."

He laughed, and even his _laugh_ sounded adorable and feminine. _How?_ "My finest isn't for going out in~"

"Show me that too." You flirted, hands snaking around his waist as you started to fall into a role.

"Maybe later if you know how to treat a lady." He kissed in your direction. Your fingers crawled up his chest to press against his pectorals. He gasped, deliciously scandalized. Honestly his acting could be up there with Zen's if he was being more serious. You could tell he would be good at infiltration depending on how long he could hold the role.

You pouted. "Your breasts are so flat."

"I'll get implants just for you!" He assured you without missing a beat.

"Do you have fake breasts?" You asked honestly, breaking character and dropping your false voice.

"In different sizes." He confirmed. "Although I don't usually wear them if I can get away with it. Do you want me to wear them?"

"Where are they?" You asked, looking around. You had never noticed any fake breasts when you walked in the closet.

"In the dresser."

You considered his chest and the outfit that Saeyoung appeared to be considering for your roleplay. The jacket would probably be able to cover anything up anyway. "Do _you_ want to wear the breasts?"

"Not really." He confessed. "I'm more comfortable without them."

"Then no boobs!" You went for your own bra and unclasped it before pulling it off and tossing it.

"Free the breasts!" Saeyoung cheered, throwing his hands up. Both of you began to hoot back and forth in excitement before the hoots became just playful owl noises. You snorted and had to stop when his hooting transformed into monkey noises, at which point you gave him a soft shove and then returned to picking your outfit as he laughed.

A lot of the clothing was really just Saeyoung's casual clothing, but you could tell which ones he preferred for costumes or disguises. They were either much nicer than normal, or they were extremely ragged. You could feel the personality coming off of all of them. You really didn't have any kind of persona you were gonna go for, so you just wanted a very natural outfit. You had to resist grabbing some of Saeyoung's normal clothing. You wanted to be someone different, not his girlfriend who was just wearing his clothes. You could seduce him with that another time.

"Saeyoung?" He hummed his response as he grabbed a long red wig off of the shelf. It looked like the one he had used for his maid outfit. "Why don't you wear any of these?" You repeated your earlier question.

Saeyoung paused and his hand began to idly play with the hair of his wig. You waited patiently for him to continue. "Because . . ." He hummed, considering his words, "Because I figured you'd find it weird."

"Weird?" You asked, confused.

"Yeah. Guys dressing up as girls?" He shrugged, watching you from the corner of his eye as if he was waiting for judgement. "It's funny, right? Totally funny. But, I mean, I _like_ dressing up as a girl."

"Yeah?" You continued to wait for his explanation, but as he gazed at you with surprised eyes you realized that was exactly what he had been worried about. You gave him a soft smile and a peck on his lips. "I kind of already knew that." You confessed.

"It doesn't bother you?" He seemed warily hopeful. Maybe he had been made fun of in the past for dressing like a girl. You could tell he was feeling vulnerable considering he wasn't even attempting to laugh any of the moment off.

"It's okay if you like to cross-dress. You make a really beautiful woman."

A grin pulled across his lips, immediately lightening up his face. "You know it!"

"Can you make me a handsome guy to match your beauty?" You brushed your hair back seductively.

"Absolutely!"

"Then afterwards we should see if we can fool any of the RFA!" You suggested.

"We'll take a bunch of couple's pictures." Saeyoung agreed, becoming excited by the idea. "Stop by Jaehee's cafe!"

"She'll recognize you immediately." You laughed. "She's too good."

"You're right." He pursed his lips in thought. "Let's go invade Yoosung's school then."

"After the date? I really do wanna go out."

"Of course, honey-cakes!"

"Sweetie pie~" You crooned.

"Sugar pants~" He teased back. He paused briefly, and then ducked his head. You could see his cheeks had turned a little pink. "Okay, I kind of just grossed myself out there."

"We'll need to go to a dentist soon." You nodded seriously, eying him sharply.

"I got it." He grumbled. "I know it's been too long since I last went to the dentist. How many times will you bring that up?"

You only smiled, pleased that your warning had been received, and turned back to finding your outfit. You had a roleplaying date to prepare for, after all.


	12. Muffled by Your Body

"Oh my God. Oh my God, babe. Babe!" Saeyoung was shaking. He couldn't stop shaking. He was so excited he was sure that he would explode. He couldn't stop himself from babbling even as he half climbed over you to stare at the creature laying on the sofa cushions. He clutched at your shoulders, smacking them with light rapid taps to help get rid of his nervous energy. "Babe, it's so cute. He's so cute! I'm gonna die. I'm positive I'm gonna die!"

"Shhh!" You shushed him even while laughter bubbled from your lips. His fingers gripped your shirt as he almost hopped in place. "You'll scare her!"

" _I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT ME A KITTEN!_ " He hissed before making an impatient moaning noise. He wanted to play with the kitten, but he had made a promise to you to be as careful as possible with the baby. After all, its mother was with it as well and she had already scratched Saeyoung once. He had been too hasty and had scared the mother, so he agreed to leave the kitten be until he calmed down. The only problem was that the longer he waited, the more anxious he became. The baby was so cute and fluffy!

"He really is so cute!" Yoosung agreed. He was kneeling with Saeran closer to Hunni, the mother cat. Mandu, the small fluffy kitten, only mewed softly as he tottered around on his small legs. Saeyoung wanted to pick the baby up and play with his tiny paws. He wanted to kiss the stomach and roll around with it on the floor. But multiple members of the RFA had threatened to take both cats away if they caught wind that Saeyoung was mistreating them. But he would never mistreat them! He just wanted to show them his love!

"Why get the mother too?" Saeran asked. Hunni purred as he hesitantly stroked her head. Saeyoung made a high-pitched noise that he barely muffled with the back of your shirt. He bit down on it.

"I was told that Hunni is a very laid-back cat and that she won't mind being harassed." You grinned as Yoosung shot you a knowing amused look. "So Saeyoung can play with her in case he gets too rough with the baby."

Saeyoung whined. "Why does everyone think I'll hurt him?"

"I don't think you'll hurt him." You denied, reaching to pet his face. "But I know you can get too excited."

"Jumin's already two seconds away from calling the police." Yoosung joked, but he gladly pet Mandu as the kitten wandered over to him. It made tiny mewing noises that had Saeyoung wrapping his arms around your waist and squeezing.

"I love you!" He said into your shoulder and neck, his voice muffled.

"Happy late birthday." You murmured to him before grabbing his hand and bringing him over to the cats. Hunni meowed curiously as the both of you sat down. Saeyoung could tell that Saeran was fascinated by the new housemates, but judging by his exploring hand on Hunni he preferred the fluffy mother. Saeyoung's eyes were only on Mandu, but only because he had never seen a kitten in person before.

"Don't hurt him." Yoosung warned as he picked up Mandu and held him out to Saeyoung.

"Where is the _trust_ in this friendship? I'm honestly hurt!"

"Jumin showed us the CCTV of you harassing Elizabeth the 3rd." Yoosung was not dissuaded. Saeyoung tried to force himself to be calm as he took the kitten from his friend. He nearly cried out in delight at how small and light and soft Mandu was.

"Oh my God, I'm going to cry." He insisted, bringing the baby to his face. He kissed its little head and nuzzled his nose into its tummy as it struggled. You laughed from next to him.

"He'll love Saeyoung, just watch." You told the other males. "That kitten will be a playful little shit." You tapped Saeran's hand and he looked up at you in surprise. Saeyoung watched you two even as he nuzzled the squirming kitten again. "Happy birthday to you too, Saeran."

Saeran didn't seem to know what to say. Instead he looked away from you and back down at Hunni, who butted her head against his hand insisting on more petting. ". . . You already gave me gifts, though."

"I hope you like cats as well." You responded cheerfully.

"I guess this means Zen can never visit again!" Yoosung laughed, laying down on his stomach to get to the same level as the cats.

"We should invite him over without telling him about Hunni and Mandu!" Saeyoung immediately grinned and placed Mandu down between his folded legs. The kitten's tiny purrs could barely be heard. Saeyoung was going to die and go to Heaven tonight. He would be kissing you so hard later before you went to sleep that night.

"Nooo!"Yoosung cried.

"We can show him how cute they are~" You agreed.

"Right?!" Saeyoung's fingers gently but enthusiastically played with Mandu's soft ears. "I think our babies are even cuter than Elly~"

". . . .I agree." Saeran murmured.

"Saeran agreed! It's official!"

"Guys, leave poor Zen alone!" Yoosung seemed to be the only one trying to help Zen. "Besides, he already knows that you got cats."

"Oh right, that's true." You said, but you didn't seem disappointed at all.

"It was worth a try." Saeyoung agreed.

"It's a good thing you started with cats, though." Yoosung suddenly sounded a little contemplative. "Cats are better to start with than babies, after all."

Saeyoung felt his heart skip a beat and nearly stop at the word "babies". He had never seen your face turn red so fast either and you stuttered adorably. "I-I-It's not-! We weren't-! Yoosung! We haven't been-!" You cut yourself off realizing nothing you were saying made any sense. Yoosung was grinning broadly, though, looking between you and Saeyoung knowingly.

"Aww, you guys aren't thinking of starting a family yet?"

Saeyoung wanted kids. You already knew this. You two had discussed it before on a couple of occasions, but not with any kind of official results. It had mostly been idle musings. He didn't want to get ahead of himself and scare you off, but Saeyoung dreamed of having a real family. And now that Saeran was happy and safe, and Saeyoung had you as a wonderful wife, those idle dreams and musings seemed a lot more plausible.

But neither of you had decided on anything like actually _having_ children yet. And while Saeyoung would happily discuss children with you, he could tell you were uncomfortable with Yoosung's playful suggestion. So Saeyoung decided to rescue you.

"What~? Have kids? Yoosung, you and Saeran _are_ our kids!" He teased.

"Hey! I'm only a year younger than you!" Yoosung cried, offended.

"I am _not_ your child." Saeran shot a glare at his brother.

"We'll make sure to feed and bathe you, Yoosung~" Saeyoung sang, and leaned into you to wrap an arm around your shoulders.

"I'm not a kid!" Yoosung protested, and snatched Mandu away just to spite Saeyoung.

"My baby!" He cried out.

"Saeyoung, they grow up so fast!" You fake sobbed into his shoulder. "He's already in his rebellious phase!"

"Don't worry, honey." Saeyoung comforted you. "Saeran will carry on the family name. He'll get a good job. We can't trust our video game-obsessed son."

"I'm glad I'm not your kid." Yoosung sniffed while Saeran purposely chose to ignore his relatives' antics. He was becoming more resistant to teasing. Saeyoung would have to increase the power.

"Now I'm offended." You joked.

"How could you offend your mother like that!" Saeyoung scolded Yoosung.

"Oh shut up!" Yoosung rolled his eyes and shook his head, giving Saeyoung a small shove.

"Give me back your little brother. You've lost kitten privileges!"

"I need to move out." Saeran muttered under his breath.


	13. A Tease

**A/N: Sorry this is two days late. I was busy this weekend. Back to the daily updates!**

 **Gonna earn that T rating.**

 **(But tell me if you all think it's over T)**

* * *

Your tongue licked your lips slowly sending sparks through your body at the unfamiliar taste of your lover's chapstick. It glistened on her lips, taunting you and drawing you in for another taste, but you refused the offer and went for her ear instead, biting down on the lobe even as you wiggle in her lap. Her hands clutched at your hips, shaking with her need that you continued to ignore as you teased her. It was just too much fun. Now you understood why Saeyoung liked to do it to you.

She whispered your name, a gasp in her breath, as you kissed and nipped a line down her exposed chest to her navel. Her shirt barely clung to her skin, hiding the most inappropriate parts. Her hands clutched at the bedsheets with her short hair splayed against the pillow. The red ribbons wrapped around her wrists to keep her in place only stood out more starkly against her blonde hair, and your body shivered at the sight.

It was wrong, you knew. It was so wrong. You shouldn't be doing such a thing on your own bed. How would Saeyoung feel if he saw you with a strange woman on your bed? The thought of getting caught was a bit tantalizing, but it also sent a stab of icy cold through you. Guilt was building in the back of your mind.

"Don't stop." She begged you, legs spreading more from underneath her skirt. You hadn't bothered to take the loose thing off because you knew how delicious it was to be teased without being able to see how. Her thighs trembled against your lips as your nails scraped down the outside of them. "Are you w-worried?"

"You're not supposed to talk." You scolded her. She only grinned, her eyes showing she knew that she had you.

"You'd better hurry, then. So that he won't catch us~" She pressed her hips up in obvious invitation.

You bit down hard on the inside her thigh, and she cried out before she muffled herself against the pillows. You were becoming more nervous and scared at the moment. You shouldn't have agreed to this. You'd had a fantasy idea, but now that you were acting upon it you weren't sure you could deal with it. You were too guilty. You didn't like the mindset you came into this situation with.

You couldn't do it. You pulled back with a sigh and collapsed on your back to stare at the ceiling. What had you been thinking with this cheating fantasy? You couldn't do that to Saeyoung. He didn't deserve something like that. It had been sexy at first, but the further it had gone on the more it had upset you. Now you couldn't even say that you were properly aroused.

"Are you okay?" Your lover wiggled up into a sitting position, bringing her hands to her lap. There was a worried frown on her face, which barely cut through the haze of lust that had been there mere moments before. It was impressive.

"I can't do this." You confessed. You felt horrible, especially because you were the one who had initialized everything. It had been such an arousing thought at the time, but now it seemed that thinking about something and following through with such a mindset were two very different games.

"Did something happen?" She asked, a bit more alarmed now. "Was it the talking? Did I not moan enough?"

You smiled weakly and then covered your face. You felt even worse at how okay she had been with all of this. "No, it wasn't that." You responded, your voice muffled, before you dropped your hands. Her hands found your cheeks, stroking them as her hands moved down your neck and to your shoulders to rub. She had somehow slipped her bonds. You weren't surprised. "I just," the words slipped from your mouth, "thought that it would be sexy and fun to cheat because I've read stories like that, but it feels horrible."

This only seemed to amuse her. "So the stories are sexy, but not in practice?"

"Pretty much." You shrugged helplessly. "I'm sorry. After we both went through all this effort . . ."

"Actually," Saeyoung dropped the voice he had been using as he let the persona and roleplaying fade away without a care, "I'm kinda touched. Even though I'm not being touched, hahaha."

"It must have been uncomfortable for you." You cried a bit, guilt bubbling out of you.

"Hey," Saeyoung grabbed your wrist and tugged you closer, "we're exploring kinks. I wouldn't have agreed if it bugged me _that_ much."

"But it _did_ bug you." You pointed out.

Saeyoung made a small face, which was strange to see considering he still looked like an almost-stranger. "Well. I don't . . . Like sharing you. Or the thought that you might cheat on me." You opened your mouth to tell him that, no, you would never _actually_ cheat on him, but he was already cutting you off with a knowing smile, "Which is why I'm glad you decided to test the kink with me rather than my brother."

"Saeyoung!" You cried out, half-scandalized and half-amused.

"'Oh!'" He sighed, soundly like a woeful maiden that you were _fairly_ sure was supposed to be you, "'I lo-o-o-ove my charming husband Sae-y-oung~'" Yeah he was definitely pretending to be you. Especially as he dragged out the confession for himself in a ridiculously way that was supposed to emphasize it. You could see he was barely holding back his shit-eating grin as he wiggled his eyebrows at you. "'But Saeran looks _so_ much like my handsome husband that _surely_ it can't be _cheating_!'"

"And yet I asked you to dress up as a woman." You teased back, aiming for revenge. "So wouldn't Jaehee be a more likely target?"

"Jaehee doesn't know how to handle what you like, though~" He sang, pointedly wiggling his hips where you could see he was still mostly aroused. Now that your guilt had faded with his easy forgiveness, the sight was particularly tempting.

"There are toys for that." Your hand pressed against him, and he arched into your touch.

"What kind of toys?" He asked innocently. "Like the one you have right now?"

"Yes, exactly like this one." You told him seriously. He hooked a leg over your shoulder.

"Mmmmmmm, any chance of you continuing?"

You wanted to, definitely, but you were still slightly bothered. "Do you mind if I take your wig off?"

"My hair!" Saeyoung cried, grabbing at his head in offense, before he himself took the wig off as well as his hair net. He shook his curlier red hair out, and your heart felt lighter at the sight. "Better?" He asked, even though he didn't look completely like himself again. Why was it that he had better make-up skills than you?

"Oh my God." You gasped. "You were my husband this whole time?!"

"That's right! I caught you in the act!" He immediately joined in, pointing accusingly at you.

"I knew there was a reason I was so drawn to you." You murmured, pressing a kiss to his lips. Saeyoung arm slipped around behind you to grab a handful of your bottom and drag you both down into a laying position. He opened his mouth and allowed you to slowly slip back into the more dominating role.

"It's because I'm cute and irresistible." He told you solemnly in your ear. Your hands slipped beneath his skirt, and his hips bucked once against you.

"What a curse." You lamented with him before you pulled back a bit. "I guess I'll just have to wreck you." His eyes widened at the sight of your dark grin, and said grin only widened as you visibly saw a shudder run through his body at your words. He was struck speechless, and you felt more empowered because of it. Especially when his voice broke under the weight of his own lust and he could only whisper,

"Yes, please!"


	14. Broken, As You Beg Me Not to Leave

Saeyoung had to act quickly. Ms. Vanderwood was crying out, outraged at the cult followers groping at them and dragging them separately. His head was spinning, yet Saeyoung could think perfectly straight. His heart was beating wildly out of his chest and Rika was still commanding for them all to be brought before her. V was on the floor unmoving, and Saeran was screaming and waving a gun. There was too much happening at once. He had to help his brother, but he couldn't move.

And then you screamed. His head whipped towards you and your name left his lips desperately. Your head was being forced back by the death grip on your hair and a syringe was approaching your neck. Your eyes welled up with painful tears as you shook your head in an attempt to get away.

"DON'T TOUCH HER!" Saeyoung shouted, furiously fighting against the people holding him back.

"We'll convert her!" Saeran laughed and laughed, his voice shredding from his own insanity, "And we'll _break you_ , Luciel!"

"Seven, fucking _do something_!" Vanderwood commanded. He had managed to slip the grasp of one of the disciples and had thrown a punch to take down one of the attackers, but he was quickly overwhelmed. Saeyoung didn't have time to worry about his ex-handler.

"Don't hurt her! Please! Just take me!" He screamed at the disciples. He swung his head to Rika. "Don't do this, Rika!"

Rika's cold eyes bore into his soul and she didn't respond. Saeyoung didn't understand. This wasn't what had happened. Rika was supposed to be broken. Saeyoung should've been able to escape his bonds to help his brother. Saeran should be the one being attacked, not you! You were supposed to be safe. You were supposed to be _safe_ -!

"I'll kill her." Vanderwood threatened. He stood between Saeyoung and you with a gun pointed directly at your chest. Vanderwood looked regretful but determined, just as he always did when he had to follow the agency's orders to do commands he didn't like doing. "You knew this would happen, Seven. You can't have any emotional connections. They will only be used against you."

"Vanderwood, just leave her out of this." Saeyoung begged lowly. "If she is hurt in any way, I will destroy you. I'll destroy the whole agency with my own two hands. I won't forgive you."

"That's suicide and you know it!" Vanderwood cried, horrified.

"I don't care!" He wouldn't stop. He would die, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that you were safe and happy. And if you died-

"I know you don't care." Your voice was broken as you shook your head and backed away from Saeyoung. He glared at you even as his heart trembled with the weight of his harsh words and lies in his chest. "I can't _do_ this, Luciel!" You sobbed once, clutching at your arms.

He called your name, somewhat confused. Where were you going? When had you been released? When had you both gotten to Rika's apartment? His cruel words hung in the air between you. He could still feel his desperation to keep you away from him vibrating in his body even as he hated himself for hurting you again and again. He had to, though. He had to hurt you and drive you away so that you would be _safe_.

And now it seems he had succeeded.

The tears rolled down your cheeks as your back hit the door to the apartment. Some part of him warned him about the bomb, but he had already solved that problem. Your mouth opened and closed, but the words couldn't seem to find voice. Saeyoung hated himself. He wanted to apologize. Why wasn't he apologizing?! He couldn't stand the sight of just how shattered you looked.

"I'm so . . . I'm so sorry, Luciel." You whimpered. "I won't . . . I won't bother you again." You ducked your head, blocking your face from his sight. "I'll leave and-and . . . and never come back."

"Do you not get it?!" He growled at you, and you flinched, and Saeyoung hated himself all the more. "You _can't_ leave because you're in danger, you idiot! Just stay in the damn house!"

"I CAN'T!" You shouted, and he startled. "I don't want to stay with someone who just keeps hurting me!"

Saeyoung couldn't stop himself. "You can't leave either! It's not an option! I won't let you!"

It was a mistake. He could see it immediately as that familiar fire burned in your eyes. The tears did nothing to dampen the flame as you hissed out, " _Just try and stop me_." And you turned then and threw open the door. Saeyoung moved forward, but you were already out of it. The slamming of the door jolted Saeyoung into reality.

His face was wet with tears and his nose was clogged. A desperation filled his chest as he could only watch your leaving back. You won't return to him. You were in danger and you were leaving. He flung himself out of his bed, his mind dizzy with only a single thought of bringing you back to him before it was too late.

Saeyoung tripped over himself yanking on the closest pair of pants. You weren't next to him in bed like you usually were when he slept. He didn't have time to track your phone, but he would if he was too late. He would go to you this time rather than resort to phone calls. He would chase you as far as he needed to if it meant he could beg your forgiveness.

He caught sight of you with your purse over your shoulder as you were trying to leave. His mind short-circuited as your last words to him echoed in your head. Each repetition tore at him until your name had forced itself from his lips and he ran to you. You turned around with widened eyes, startled by his broken voice. His hands found your sleeve and he collapsed to his knees.

"Don't go!" He pleaded as a sob broke through him. He was sure he would rip your sleeve with how tight his grip was. "Please, God, don't leave me! I love you so much! I'm sorry! I-I'm so fucking sorry!"

"Saeyoung!" You cried, and immediately your arms wrapped around him. He was shaking and he clutched at you. Anything to keep you with him. "Saeyoung, what's wrong? What happened?"

The image of the syringe being shoved into your neck filled his mind. He couldn't control his breathing. You were going to leave him one way or another. He couldn't bear either outcome. He would rather die first. "I can't lose you. I can't! I can't!" He was babbling and he knew it, but you just kept shushing him. You held him to you and kissed his face and hair even as he sobbed.

"I'm just going to the store!" You told him. The confusion in your voice was barely recognized in his frantic mind. "It was a nightmare, babe. Saeyoung, shhh! Honey, I'm right here!"

His cries bubbled out of him and he buried his face into your chest. You didn't loosen your grip on him at all even though he was sure he was hurting you with his grip. You only continued to whisper reassurances until he slowly calmed down. Your name repeated from his mouth without his control.

Eventually the fear subsided. Your words held more meaning, and your voice soothed his frazzled nerves and mind. His tears dried up, and comprehension of everything that occurred slowly came to him. And he was vaguely embarrassed by it all even though he was too drained emotionally to push away from you. He took in the scent of your body and just breathed, focusing on counting his breaths and the steady repetition of your hand stroking down his back, and then up over his neck and into his hair. Your nails added the barest scrape.

"I'm sorry." He murmured, much steadier even though his voice was rough. "That . . . hasn't happened in a long time." He could recall a couple of times when he had been younger and still in training with the agency. Those violent nightmares had gotten him punished on more than one occasion.

"It's okay." You assured him, pressing a long and lasting kiss to the top of his head. He listened to your heartbeat pumping in your chest. "It was just a nightmare. Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Saeyoung attempted to clear his throat.

You pulled back from him just a bit so that you could see his face. He sniffed loudly and wiped at his nose, positive that he looked horrible, but he couldn't feel too self-conscious with your worried eyes scanning him. Then you kissed him slowly, long enough for him to recognize it as the reassurance that it was. His hands came up to cup your neck, his thumbs pressing and stroking against the skin there. He couldn't feel any puncture wounds. Then his hands ran down your chest, but he couldn't find any bullet holes.

His kisses became a bit more desperate as shaky relief filled him. He dragged you more against him as he fell backwards onto the floor. Your purse dropped from your arm as your presence surrounded him. Your weight was grounding, and your warmth defrosted the chill in his bones. He ached to be closer and have you to himself, and he could tell you sensed that.

"Bed." You commanded with a small gasp. You pulled away, but Saeyoung followed close behind. Your hands met his as you led him back to the bedroom and shut the door. He grabbed you to pull you to him as you both collapsed back onto the bed. The shaking hadn't yet left his hands, so you clung to them tightly to steady him as he pinned your body with his and captured your mouth again. Your actions spoke to him louder than your words as you allowed him to keep you so absolutely close to him.

I'm here, it said, and I'm not leaving you.

If you could keep that one promise forever, Saeyoung was sure he would be happy.


	15. In A Way I Can't Return

**A/N: This was supposed to be a "Dance in the Ballroom" type of chapter, but it ended up being a Jumin chapter. I'm okay with this.**

* * *

It was the first party you had ever been to, and it blew your expectations away. In your imaginings as a child you would sometimes picture yourself as a princess who would enter a grand ballroom and dance with her prince just like in all of the fairy tales. The chandeliers would sparkle and illuminate the tall walls and the swirling dresses. People would chatter and fall into a hush at the sight of the main character as she stepped into the room, even when she wasn't the princess yet. The princess would have her dance with her one and only true love. The drinks would flow and the food would be the best in the world.

An RFA party was something similar to what you had imagined.

Your dress was the best one you owned, but it didn't really meet "princess" standards. Everyone was dressed well, but not in royal clothing (unless they were actually royalty). Your heart fluttered in your chest from a mixture of nerves and excitement. This party was yours - _all_ of yours. The entire RFA committee -including Saeran- had worked hard to set up an even grander party than the one that you and Saeyoung hadn't been able to make. Guests from the last party had been thrilled to be invited to another even if the auction of V's photographs could not be possible. It almost brought tears to your eyes to gaze at everything, hungrily eating up the memories you were making.

Jumin had taken over the role of leader of the RFA upon V's death and he had taken to it like a fish to water. Which didn't surprise you because Jumin had always been amazing at running anything. He was already implemented changes, though, considering he was attempting branch out and make the RFA an organization with the core RFA members still being the leaders. You and Jaehee and Saeran had been doing a majority of the work (Saeran setting up the system needed to communicate with the leaders of the RFAs in different countries) while Jaehee and you picked and chose the best candidates to be the leaders of each branch. It was tiring work, especially as the deadline for this particular party had drawn near.

It still wasn't complete, but today was the day you all would be meeting with the people you and Jaehee had chosen as well as the donators you had been emailing for the past year. Some of the RFA had worried that it had still been too soon for another party, but you thought it was only appropriate to have it again around the same time as the last one. You were still breathless at just how _big_ the party was.

You had yet to see your husband considering you had left early to meet up with Jaehee and Jumin for the preparations. Saeyoung had been absent to finish up some of his freelance work since last week, but he had promised to be back by today. It was a worry you would rather not have weighing on your mind, but he had already contacted you to let you know that he was safe and on his way. Still you could feel an almost itch to see him again. It had been too long since you had been separated this long for such a dangerous thing. It made you anxious recalling the some of the stories that Saeyoung had told you from his secret agent field days. You knew that he would never take on missions so dangerous, but it made you sick nonetheless.

You stood off in one of the corners with Jumin, the two of you desperately needing a breather from the night. The party was still going strong, but you were definitely not used to working a crowd like that. The cool air did you good as you stood on the corner of the balcony with your friend. Perhaps you should have expected you to be one of the main focuses of the night. You knew how to talk to people (for the most part), but long interactions still stressed you out. Especially because it was your job to ensure they were willing to donate. At least you had a couple of artist friends you had become acquainted with over the years that had been willing to sell their work for charity.

"I don't know how you do this every day." You confessed to Jumin, sighing around your glass of wine. Taking a sip of it you almost moaned at the flavor alone. Jumin really knew his wines. Maybe you should work harder to become friends with his wine producer . . .

"Practice." He told you, leaning on the balcony railing and staring out at the trees. "It is not difficult when you become used to it."

"Teach me your ways, Mr. Han~" You joked, nudging him playfully with your elbow. His mouth quirked just lightly at your teasing.

"Perhaps I will. I can always arrange for you to sit in among select meetings. I would not be against having a second assistant if it was you."

"Noo!" You laughed. "No, thank you. Saeyoung would kill me if he found out I got _another_ job added to my plate."

"You would let him direct you like that?" Jumin asked, mildly confused but very serious.

"A relationship is a give and take." You informed him gently. "And I've agreed to cut back on my work after our last fight."

He hummed in understanding. "If it is a give and take, then what did he give you?"

"Nothing yet." You took another sip of your wine. You wondered if you could convince Jumin to get you this particular one again. It would go well with the brisket you were going to attempt to cook sometime soon. "But I do have an idea. That reminds me!" You suddenly remembered and turned to him. "Jumin, do you recall being interested in the robot cat Saeyoung had made?"

"Yes, of course." You could tell you had caught his attention, and it made you smile.

"If I can convince him, would you be willing to invest in him opening up a robot shop? Or something similar?" It had been an idea that had been on your mind for the past month but you had yet to bring up with Saeyoung. You wanted him to stop doing the dangerous missions that you _know_ he hated, but you knew he needed something to fill the time or he would find other ways to fill it. Chances were that it would include a lot of boredom on his part.

"Perhaps." Jumin visibly considered the idea. "It would, of course, depend on the idea and how he plans to market it. If it was just cat robots themselves, then I would certainly invest. But you are referring to something larger."

"Something new for Saeyoung to do. I'm not sure he doesn't know _how_ to be an agent anymore." You confessed.

"Tell him to call me about the details when you have decided something with Saeyoung. Or get him to contact Yoosung if I am unavailable." It amused you that Jumin still referred to Yoosung by his first name despite the fact that Yoosung had taken over the role as Jumin's assistant. Maybe he had just wanted to keep Jaehee as impersonal as he could while she had been working for him. Or perhaps it was a sign that he didn't really see Yoosung as an adult. You weren't sure. You thought it was funnier to speculate on the mysterious mind of Jumin Han.

"I will!" You promised. The two of you shared comfortable conversation with each other for another few minutes talking about Hunni, Mandu, and Elizabeth the 3rd while you both finished your wine. However Jumin was not one to allow his thoughts to drift when the conversation had come to a natural stop.

"Why are you assuming Saeyoung will want to open a shop of sorts?" He asked you.

"He told me he dreamt of it once. Him and I working in a toy shop together. Maybe it means he wants to open one?"

"Interesting thought." Jumin murmured, "Although I don't believe in prophetic dreams."

"You don't believe Zen has prophetic dreams?" You joked.

"Absolutely not." You bit your lip to stop a laugh at how deadpan his voice sounded. "You are going through quite the effort to do something that Saeyoung has not even thought of, though."

Your gaze became a bit distant as you stared out across the trees. Maybe it was the wine in your system, or perhaps it was just the heat of the party, but you couldn't stop the confession from moving from your idle thoughts to your mouth as you murmured, "In a way . . . Saeyoung is the entire reason I joined the RFA and met any of you. Because of his connection to Saeran . . . I was brought into the RFA chatroom and had my life changed forever. And I want to . . . return that gratefulness to Saeyoung."

"If he was here to hear this . . ." Jumin told you carefully, his voice also soft, "I am sure he would tell you that you have already done much more than returned the favor. You've changed his life as well. You've changed all of our lives."

You felt heat bloom on your cheeks and you ducked your head at his praise. Jumin Han didn't dole out words like that often, but when he did it always surprised you. "Maybe. I feel like I haven't done enough, though. Maybe this will be enough?"

"I've no idea."

"It was a rhetorical question. But thank you."

Your name was called then, and you immediately spun around as you caught sight of your husband. He looked dashing in his gold and white vest over his red shirt. His hair was properly combed and styled today much like it had been on your wedding day. The mere reminder was enough to steal your breath away, but his grin as your eyes met did one more and stole your heart all over again. The love in his eyes was transparent for everyone to see if they just looked, which was such a change from a year ago that you could've cried. You weren't sure how he could tell you how much he loved you just from a look alone. You didn't know how to master such a gaze.

Instead you had to give voice to your joy. "You're finally here!"

"You're late." Jumin accused, but Saeyoung briefly ignored him as you ran to Saeyoung and tossed your arms around his neck. Your husband onto grinned and spun you around before kissing you dramatically in front of the doors so that everyone could see you. It added to a list of things you owed Saeyoung now (a dramatic kiss in front of a crowd: check). You prayed that one day you could make up for everything he had given you.


	16. Over a Beer Bottle

"Are you serious right now?" You looked over your shoulder at Saeyoung's announcement. He wasn't sure whether to be irritated or amused by the sight of you on the step ladder in that short skirt. While the reason why you were on the step ladder was questionable, the skirt was thoroughly distracting him. His eyes didn't know where to look. Hunni, sleeping on the bed, stared at him like she knew exactly what he was thinking. He ignored her judging look. Mandu wasn't around to be influenced by his lewd behavior anyway. But that wasn't what he was commenting on.

"What?" You asked, slightly _too_ innocently for you to be completely unaware. "It's just Zen."

"You're hanging up that weird picture in our _bedroom_ though." He pointed at the poster of the half-naked Zen in a provocative pose for his newest play. Directors were really taking advantage of the sex appeal of Zen. If it was literally anyone else on the poster, Saeyoung wouldn't have said anything. But it was a little stranger with a familiar face.

"You like it too." You accused good-naturedly.

"The fact that Zen is one of the sexiest mofos I've ever met doesn't mean I agree with a picture of our _friend_ watching us have sex." It just wasn't right. He could understand his wife fangirling over Zen (honestly, Saeyoung fangirled over him a bit too, although not to the extent of Jaehee), but it just wasn't right to have his friend strung provocatively up on a poster in their bedroom. He would have to see that when he was naked. You would get to see it when you were with Saeyoung in bed. It just wasn't right.

"Oh." You blinked. "I hadn't considered that."

"Yeah!" Saeyoung clapped once, glad that his point was proven and seen.

You only grinned at him. "Now I have _two_ attractive people to look at during intercourse."

"Babe!" Saeyoung cried, scandalized. He covered his chest and groin, twisting away. "You dirty vixen!"

"What can I say?" You teased, sashaying your hips. Saeyoung made sure to duck down to get an eyeful of the panties that were teasing at the edge of the skirt. It was really way too short to be wearing on a step ladder, "I'm just _such_ a naughty girl~"

"That's it." Saeyoung left the room. He heard your confused cry as you followed him to the kitchen, wondering if you had done something wrong. Saeyoung marched right up to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of beer out of it to pop open. "You've driven me to drink. Are you happy now?"

You bit your lip in that cute way you did when you were trying to bite back a funny secret. He narrowed his eyes as he drank a bit more, daring you to speak your secret. You wouldn't be able to resist long, and you didn't, "Yes, actually. 'Specially because that's Zen's favorite brand."

Saeyoung cried out in disgust, shooting a glare at the beer, but he drank more of it anyway. At your raised eyebrow and sparkling eyes, he shrugged. "It's still pretty good considering. The man doesn't have bad taste."

"And here I thought you only drank water and Ph.D Pepper." You teased, folding your arms across your chest.

"That just shows how much you've upset me." He forced tears to his eyes and sniffed, wiping to clear his vision. "I can see who you love more!"

"I love you the most." You grinned, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"That implies there are others you love."

"I have many loves." You informed him in a secret voice.

"Ohoho?" He asked, dropping his tone as well to match yours.

"Yes, I in fact do. I'm _quite_ the multi-faceted woman." You nodded very seriously. "For example, I love your face."

"My face? It _is_ quite cute." He batted his eyes.

"It's true! And your lovely eyes. I love them too."

"Keep going." Saeyoung took another gulp of his drink, not breaking eye contact with you as he tried to keep his grin away. It was worth playing up the bit of jealousy he got because you always would be so cute and flirty afterwards to make up for it. His hand fell to your hip to pull you close to him, not letting you escape from between his legs. You didn't seem to mind at all.

"I also happen to love your sense of humor. Annnnnnd~" You dragged out the pause as he waited for your next proclamation, "I love the fact that you're gonna let me keep that poster up."

" _That_ is something I haven't agreed on!" He pointed at you.

"Haven't you?" You asked innocently. "Your hand up my skirt says differently. Since you _so_ don't wanna have sex in front of Zen's poster~"

That just wasn't fair. How had you planned that? When had he gotten such a sneaky wife? She had distracted him with short skirts and flirting and now he was all riled up! He could only gape at the genius woman in front of him. Now he had no choice. He groaned and squeezed your bottom in reluctant acceptance. You only squeaked before you hopped a little victoriously, your hands shooting up in the air as you laughed. Saeyoung was only glad that Zen would never be able to enter the house again. He wasn't sure he would ever live it down if any of the other learned of that poster.

He would deal with that later, though. He had victory spoils to indulge in.


	17. With No Space Left Between Us

Saeyoung was positive that you were drunk. Your laughter was louder and you kept hunching over because you were laughing too hard, even when the things said weren't that funny. Which only set him off and laughing, and that made you laugh even harder at him laughing at "nothing". It was hilarious to watch even if Saeyoung himself wasn't drinking a whole lot. Alcohol wasn't really for him, so only the Choi twins were the sober ones. Well, and Zen, but his alcohol tolerance was so high that he barely counted when drinking. It would take a lot more than the few mixed drinks the lot of you had bought and shared in order to make him drunk.

Saeyoung had been put of charge of taking care of you while Zen had the reluctant charge of watching over the sobbing Yoosung. Saeyoung had yet to see the two come back, but knowing his friend Yoosung had already passed out. Which was when everyone agreed it would be a good time to go back to the hotel room. Saeyoung kept an arm around your waist as you giggled each time you stumbled, trying to find something to chatter about but coming up short. You had enough awareness of just how wasted you were to fall silent after a while.

Saeran side-eyed Jaehee and Jumin, who appeared for the most part sober. But Saeyoung knew them much better. Jumin had a fairly good tolerance too, but his steps were somewhat more stilted and wobbly than usual. Jaehee shot a glare at Saeyoung, daring him to comment as she nearly ran into Saeran as he helped to support her.

"This was a stupid idea." Saeran muttered.

"It's hilarious." Saeyoung denied, very much happy with the entire situation.

"Alcohol is necessary if I'm to share a room with all of you." Jaehee muttered. Saeyoung wondered if he would be able to get Jaehee -who was always more loose-lipped with alcohol in her system- to spill some secrets. "I cannot believe you allowed this, Jumin."

"Yoosung is usually better . . . about the rooming situations." Jumin said.

"He said it woudl be more fern-" You cut yourself off and visibly tried to fix your words before trying again, "He said it would be more fun to share. Jokingly."

"It's a little inconvenient." Saeyoung straightened you as you almost caused the both of you to topple over. You snorted and pressed your face to his shirt as you apologized through your giggles. At least you were having fun. "At least there's plenty of room."

Jumin fumbled with his key to the room before he opened the door. Yoosung was passed out on one of the futons he had brought with him considering he was the only one who knew about the one room situation. Zen gave the lot of you a disgruntled look as everyone stumbled in. Saeran's arm shot out to catch Jaehee, who thanked him with a bit of a fluster as she straightened.

"I was going to come back and drink more once this one was out." Zen protested, kicking at Yoosung a bit. The youngest of the group only snored a little louder.

"He's out cold!" You cried, amused. Saeyoung took you over to the nearest bed and dropped you onto it. You rolled over and slid off of it, but climbed back on with his help to sit on it properly.

"I thought you were going to get a second room?" Zen asked Jumin. The man ran a hand into his hair and patted his pockets for his phone.

"Was I . . . ? Yes, that seems like something I would do."

"Oh dear God." Zen shook his head, but couldn't help his exasperated smile. "He's drunk too. All of you are such lightweights!"

"I'll contact them." Jaehee waved Jumin off as the man continued to search for his phone.

"It's still early and they all got drunk over dinner." Saeran sighed.

"That was such a good dinner." You pointed out, flopping back onto the bed. Saeyoung resisted the urge to mess with you more, but only just. "I want another Long Island~"

"No more alcohol for you, little lady." Zen tossed the nearest blanket over your body. You whined. Saeyoung huffed a laugh. He never got to see you drunk. He needed to record this shit. If the others weren't there, he was sure he would've been able to get some good stuff out of you that you could be mortified about when you weren't wasted.

"You going to go drink more?" He instead asked Zen.

"Probably." Zen shrugged.

"Maybe I'll go too." Saeran murmured in consideration. "That Long Island did taste good . . ."

"See!" You cried victoriously.

"Assistant Kang, where is that room?" Jumin asked. "And where is my phone?"

"I'm not your assistant anymore." Jaehee grumbled even as she finished making the arrangements. Saeyoung was dragged into helping the others move their stuff and Yoosung to the new rooms that Jumin had "graciously" provided. By the time Saeyoung came back with only Zen and Saeran in tow, it was already quite a bit later.

"You sure you're not going to join us?" Zen asked. "You may not be single anymore, but that doesn't mean you can't appreciate the sights!"

Saeyoung grinned. His brother wouldn't be appreciating the sights down there. It was tempting to see what both men would be like drunk, though. But Saeyoung had kind of already tired of alcohol for the evening. "Nah. I'll be the responsible one."

"Words I thought I would never hear."

"He's trying to act better than us, but he just doesn't know what poison he likes." Saeran joked.

"Also true!" Saeyoung agreed. He opened his mouth to say more on the matter, but suddenly a blanket and a pair of arms surrounded him and pinned his arms to his body. He hobbled a bit before both you and him toppled back onto the bed. You were firmly wrapped around him, arms and legs alike and your face buried into his back. "What the hell?" He laughed at the sudden attack and struggled a bit to escape. You had a surprisingly strong grip on him.

Zen burst out laughing. "What is that? She's so cute! You're totally trapped!"

"Get me out of here!" Saeyoung cried, wiggling. Neither Saeran nor Zen offered to help. Instead Saeran took a picture on his phone.

"Looks like sushi." He said.

"Oh my God, please send that to me!" Zen cried as he looked at the picture over Saeran's shoulder.

"Babe, I know I'm cuddly, but this is ridiculous." He could barely breathe with how tight she was holding him. It was almost concerning.

"Oh well." You muttered against his back, which only made Zen laugh harder.

"Help me!" Saeyoung demanded, starting to become more confused as you continued to let go. Was this just you being way too drunk? He didn't have data for this.

"Nah." Saeran turned off his phone and shoved it into his pocket before immediately leaving with a cheeky wave. Saeyoung gaped after his brother, betrayed.

"Sorry~" Zen sang and waved his fingers at the other man. "I'm afraid the bar is calling. Take care of her for us!"

"Traitors!"

"She's a cuddler, hm?" Zen commented idly, shooting you a soft smile before he departed as well. The click of the door was a little final, leaving Saeyoung thoroughly wrapped up in his wife. Which, frankly, he didn't mind a whole lot. But he didn't really consider this position to really be "cuddling" but rather "imprisoned". He couldn't even use his arms.

"Babe, you can let go now." He suggested. You shook your head against his back. He sat there in silence for a few moments to see if he could wait your hug out, but you didn't budge. The concern began to grow more. This was . . . unusual for you. You weren't even laughing like he would expect you to do if you found it all so funny. There was a different mood about you. You weren't completely silent. If he listened, he heard the slightest hitch in your breath.

Suddenly any amusement in the situation was replaced with alarm.

"Are you alright?" He turned his head the best he could to look at you, but your face was still hidden to him. "Are you actually a teary drunk as well?"

You laughed just a small bit, but it was much weaker than anything you had laughed about before. It was that same laugh you had given him when he had found you huddled in fear of the storm. He called your name, trying to coax you to talk to him. Finally you sniffled loudly and said, muffled against his back,

"Sorry, I just . . . I was . . . thinking while you were gone."

"Thinking?" He prompted. You nodded. He could feel some wetness in the fabric of his shirt. Oh God, you were crying. His arms ached to spin around and hold you. He could break your hold if he really wanted to.

"About . . . you. And your past. About everything you told me. A-And all that you've been through." You voice was starting to crack again. "How much p-pain. And I . . . I got so sad, Saeyoung." You laughed a bit pitifully. "The thoughts just came and . . . I guess a year does that. I just . . . I wanted to hug you so much."

Saeyoung wasn't sure what to say to that. It had been a little over a year since everything had happened with his brother and the agency. He hadn't thought about it because he had been thinking too much about his future to care about his past. His hands clenched and then relaxed before he sighed. You were just too sweet. His heart hurt knowing you were in pain because of him, but he was touched nonetheless.

"Let me roll over." He murmured, and your grip on him relaxed just enough for him to flip around. You tightened your hold against even more, pressing your face to the sensitive skin of his neck. He slipped his arms out of your hold to hug you back. "Thank you." He told you softly. "But . . . none of that matters now. We're here now."

"I know! I know but!" You swallowed against the tears. He pressed a kiss to your hair. "God, it's just not fair!"

"No, it isn't." He smiled despite himself. "But thanks to all of that . . . I'm here with you now. Crying about it when all I can think of is what will happen tomorrow. And how my brother is back with me. How he was _joking_ earlier. And how I'm holding my _wife_ in my arms. That my fucking life isn't under threat for the first time in . . . ever!" His voice held more and more disbelief with each passing sentence until he was almost giddy with the realizations. Things he barely thought about but still blew his mind when he remembered.

"Saeyoung . . ." You pulled back to look at him, and he kissed your nose because of it before he kissed your lips.

When he pulled back he could only murmur, "I'm okay with everything that has happened if it means I can have this ending with the people I love. And . . . it's thanks to you." He tapped his forehead to yours.

You closed your eyes and breathed out a shaky sigh. The alcohol was enough for him to scrunch his nose at. You opened your eyes and his breath was stolen from him. He could never get over the way you would look at him. Nobody could ever love him that much, but he could see it when you looked at him. He was so utterly fucked when it came to you, and he was so happy to be so. The wetness to your eyes did nothing to take away from your beauty in his eyes.

"I love you too." You murmured. "So much."

"That's great. But I really have to piss now."

It had worked to make you smile. "But I need to go too!"

"You can take the shower." He teased.

"You're the one who can stand!" You tensed as if to let him go, but then didn't. He waited as you closed your eyes and pressed a long kiss to his lips again. You breathed almost a sigh of relief before your happiness was back again, and you playfully kicked him away from you to scramble towards the bathroom. His laughter as you became tangled up in the comforter and tumbled off of the bed was loud enough to warrant someone yelling from the next room for them to shut up.


	18. Through a Song

**A/N: Short because I wrote a long oneshot for the fandom lol and I'm pretty burnt out for the day.**

 **(Be sure to check it out if you're interested in it!)**

* * *

It wasn't often that you got a day off, so you were taking advantage and finally cleaning the house properly. You hated cleaning with a passion, but the house had become disgusting and it had caused your tolerance for the mess to run out. You generally could put up with an amount of filth (although you did clean up if you had guests coming over), but now the mess was pushing it. You had run out of dishes and your stove and microwave needed a thorough cleaning. The tile in the kitchen was turning grey and there was more cat hair in the living room than there was on both of your cats. So you had started cleaning.

The good thing about cleaning was that it allowed you to blast your music. And Saeyoung had a fantastic stereo sound system that you could take full advantage of. With Saeran being out of the house and Saeyoung with his headphones on while he idly scrolled the internet, you felt no guilt blasting your music. And that meant you could dance and sing as loudly and badly as you wanted while you cleaned.

Today you had your English playlist up. You wiggled and jiggled to music that had been popular in the past that you had found catchy enough to keep and sang with it where you could. They had some damn catchy tunes, you thought. You spun on your socked feet as you swept the kitchen, immersed in your music, when you suddenly saw Saeyoung dash in and slide across the floor in his own socks. The lyrics to the song blasted from his mouth as he did a ridiculous dance to the beat. You burst out laughing.

"What are you doing?" You called to him. He ran and slid over to you, catching you around your shoulders so you both spun on the floor. You stumbled and nearly caused the two of you to topple, but he caught you.

"I saw you doing that little dance and decided to join." He copied your dance with as much exaggeration as possible, which only made you laugh more.

"No no, it's like this!" You exaggerated the dance so much that it looked nothing like the original. He nodded in understanding.

"I see, I see."

"I didn't know you could sing in English?" You asked as you continued to sweep. Your head bopped to the beat.

"I haven't always lived here." Saeyoung explained as he decided to be helpful and start wiping down the countertop for you. "And English is a good language to learn for hacking. Lots of se-crets~"

You supposed that made sense. "Do you know these songs then?"

"A couple."

You hummed in thought and then went to go change the song to a popular cheesy love song. His head shot up in recognition, and a teasing grin stretched across your face. The moment the singing started, you "serenaded" him. Meaning you sang it as terribly as possible with many flourishes and dips in your voice. One moment you were signing it perfectly, and the next you were so out of tune and off beat with it that you could barely keep singing it because you were giggling too much.

Saeyoung tried to contain himself, but the moment you started howling some of the words like you were in an opera, he lost it. He howled with laughter as you continued your show, praising love and how much you care about him through the words. He attempted to gather himself enough to at least _attempt_ to listen to your serenading properly and maybe try to swoon, but every time he finally managed to succeed, another sudden change in your voice would have him losing it all over again.

It delighted you to see him in happy tears. It wasn't often he was driven to such a state and it made you proud that you had found a method to do so. Even if it kind of destroyed your voice in the process.

"O-Oh God! St-Stop! I can't breathe! Spare me!" Saeyoung begged as the song ended and new one started. You had opened your mouth to also sing that one terribly, but his face was so red and he was gasping enough that you decided to take mercy on him.

You instead fell to your knees beside him where he had collapsed in his giggles. You took his face into your hands and pushed his glasses to sit on his head. Your thumbs swiped at his tears as the last of his laughter finally bubbled out of him. You waited until he was paying attention and then told him as seriously as possible, "That song . . . was exactly how I feel about you."

"Yodeling?" He asked, his voice pitching high before breaking off again. You nodded.

"It is the song of my love for you."

He had to bury his face into your shoulder as he started cry-laughing all over again.


	19. From Very Far Away

Saeyoung had promised himself he would never do anything like this again. As soon as he had Saeran back and both you, he, and Saeran were safe he had promised himself he would never do something so dangerous again. And yet here he was hiding out in a safe house with Vanderwood as they waited out the hunt placed on their heads. It was enough to make him want to throw himself out the window, infuriated with himself and Vanderwood alike. His hatred kept rotating between Vanderwood for convincing him to help the man on a job he was doing, himself for caving out of friendship with his old handler, and the situation as a whole for going fucking sideways real quick.

You didn't know what he was doing or where he was at. None of the members of the RFA save Jumin knew, and Saeyoung had only told Jumin so that Jumin would be able to handle anything in case . . .

Well, in case something like this happened.

"Shit!" Saeyoung his, burying his hands in his hair as numbers raced across the screen on his phone. He wanted to get in contact with you, but he had to destroy his technology. There was no telling what would happen to you if either his phone or his computer were hacked into. "Shit, I'm never doing this again!" He hissed at Vanderwood. "Never again!"

"The same goes for me too!" Vanderwood barked back at him, peeking through the window as he kept lookout. "It's not as if the mission was supposed to go this way!"

"I thought you would get a healthier job after all of the shit we went through with the agency." Saeyoung's fingers typed fast, putting in the code necessary so that his computer - _which he had needed to leave behind, FUCK-_ would self-destruct. Everything he had on there would be worthless, but at least nobody in the fucking government would be able to get a hold of it. The phone would have to go next.

"Shut up. I've been in the agency for years. It's harder to adjust to civilian life when you've never really been a civilian. Jeez . . ." Vanderwood ran a hand into his now-shorn hair. "It's not like all of us have a lovely girlfriend to steal us away from this life."

"Maybe you should work on that. Or a lovely husband." Saeyoung snarked just a bit, only half paying attention to the conversation. "I'm open-minded about these things."

"You don't need to tell me that. How are you doing?" Saeyoung glanced at the bandage around his leg from where he had once again be skimmed by a bullet. He was barely making it through these missions anymore. There was a reason he hated doing fieldwork. He had grown rusty having lived a cushy civilian life for the past year. You would be so worried when you saw how bad his leg was. He couldn't walk. Only the freezing air that filled the unheated house kept it from throbbing in agony like it had been. They needed to get out of there as soon as they could.

"It doesn't hurt anymore, at least."

"I'm not sure that's a good thing." Vanderwood murmured, concerned but trying not to show it too much.

"Probably not." Saeyoung knew that Vanderwood honestly did care for him without the other agent saying so. They hadn't been in contact for a while, but that hadn't dimmed the relationship between them. And Vanderwood may have tried to kill him, but to be fair Saeyoung had almost gotten Vanderwood killed on more than one occasion. It didn't mean he would fully forgive him for threatening his brother, though.

"And the computer?"

"By now it will have been destroyed."

"That's good." Vanderwood sighed looked back outside to double check the surroundings before saying, "If your phone has signal . . . I recommend calling your family. Or your rich buddy. Someone. Y'know . . . just in case."

Saeyoung stared at his phone. Vanderwood was right, of course. He should call Jumin to see if he could request help at all. God knew how long it would take to get here, though. Saeyoung couldn't risk his friend for something like this. Jumin was in charge of making sure the rest of the RFA was safe from any of this bullshit. He couldn't call Jumin for this one. The only thing he would call him for would be funds, even if Jumin had offered his help should Saeyoung need it. He couldn't do it yet.

But you . . . God, he wanted to hear your voice. Just in case he never got to hear it again. He needed to make sure you were happy and not worried. He had told you he would be back soon when he had left. He hadn't wanted to lie to your face about where he had been going, but it was to protect you. It had been one last mission and then he wouldn't owe Vanderwood anything. And now he was so fucked.

His hands trembled only slightly as he called your number and held the phone to his ear. He pretended Vanderwood wasn't there as he listened to the rings before you picked up. It would be night time over there right now.

"Hiya hey hey!" You greeted him cheerfully, and a smile bloomed across Saeyoung's face despite his heavy heart.

"Hey honey. You're not asleep?"

"Not yet." You confessed. He could hear the distinct rustling of a bag over the phone and he wondered if they were his favorite Honey Buddha chips. You said that you occasionally liked to eat them whenever he was gone. A nervous habit, you had jokingly told him. "I was reading in hopes it would make me tired."

He found that so cute. He had stocked up on books for the house just so you would have something to read before you fell asleep, even if he didn't like reading as much anymore. "I'm glad I caught you then."

"Are you alright?" You asked. "Your voice is shaking."

"It's just really cold here. Listen, I, um . . ." He squeezed his eyes shut and took a breath, "I miss you."

"I miss you too." _Shit_ , he could tell you were worried now. He had messed up. How could you have become so good at reading him even over the phone? "Saeyoung . . ."

"Shhh . . ." He shushed you quickly. His heart pounded out your name in his chest over and over again. "Don't worry, okay?"

"Saying that just makes me more worried."

"I just . . . wanted to hear your voice. Say good night to you. Tell you that I love you. It's weird . . . how quickly I forget how you sound. Haha . . . it makes me want to call you over and over again. I have to call each time I forget." His leg throbbed badly. He ran his hand over his face and pressed the heel of it to his eye.

You were silent for a long time. Long enough that Saeyoung was about to beg you to either talk or to ramble on more himself, but finally you spoke, "Saeyoung . . . Don't be scared, okay? You'll come back safe."

He didn't deserve you. You had to know by now that he had lied to your face about where he had been going, and yet here you were comforting him. He couldn't hear an ounce of anger in your voice. All he could hear was your warmth and trust and worry. He wouldn't cry. Not in front of Vanderwood. But it was a close thing.

"Y-Yeah. I will."

"You're making a promise to me, so you have to alright? I believe in you."

It was words he didn't know that he had needed to hear. He hadn't realized just how deep into despair he had already been sinking before you said that. All he could think about was the danger he had put you in before. He had promised to keep you safe, and if he died you wouldn't be happy. You had told him that once when you two had stayed the night at a hotel while searching for Saeran.

" _I don't want to be safe if I'm not happy_. _And if you're gone, I won't be happy."_

Saeyoung's voice was stronger now. He would find a way out. He couldn't walk, but he had Vanderwood. They would find a way out. He had been in worse scenarios before. "I'll come home." He promised you.

"I know you will." He smiled a bit more at the smile in your voice.

"Keep the bed warm for me, okay? And . . . give the phone to Saeran. Quickly." He heard you scramble out of bed and rush from the room. And soon enough he heard his brother quietly answer the phone. "Saeran, I need a favor. And it'll have to be quick, because I need to get rid of this phone in about ten minutes." He glanced at Vanderwood, who was making motions for him to cut the call. He could hear vehicles outside. "Scratch that. Five minutes."

Saeyoung could hear Saeran already in the computer room. He recognized the hum of his babies and the rapid clicking of the keyboard. He hated that Saeran knew coding and computers almost as well as Saeyoung did, but at that moment he could only give thanks to Rika as Saeran said, "You're in danger, aren't you? Idiot brother. Tell me what you need."


	20. A Whisper in the Ear

He was in the hospital again. It had been so long since you had been to the hospital because of him, and it churned your stomach to see him on the bed with his eyes closed. Saeyoung was alive, but he was injured. His leg had a gunshot wound in it and he had lost a lot of blood. There were a couple broken bones from what you could only guess was from torture, and there were lacerations and burns to his body. Nothing serious or life-threatening, Jaehee had told you gently once she had received the report from the doctors, but it was enough that he was on medication to keep him asleep. Vanderwood had been in a similar state, if a bit worse. No bullet wounds, but definitely beaten as well.

You didn't want to know what they had both been through. You could speculate all you wanted. Jumin had already told you what Saeyoung had informed him of before he had departed. It had been a mission that Saeyoung promised to help Vanderwood with. An in-and-out mission. Dangerous, but not especially so.

Clearly things had gone very very wrong.

You wondered if you should be angry. Angry at Saeyoung? Angry at Vanderwood? Angry at Jumin? But you couldn't really. You didn't have it in you. You were so exhausted from being terrified for your husband's life that you just wanted things to go back to normal. That was all that you wanted.

Besides, Jumin and Vanderwood had already beaten themselves up pretty badly. Saeran had threatened Vanderwood, his cold anger terrifying all of you. Saeran had to be forced from the room, so instead he sat with you in Saeyoung's room. The others had already come and gone after checking on Saeyoung, but eventually they had asked everyone but family to leave. You were fine with that. Your nerves were frayed and as much as you loved your friends, you just needed some quiet.

"Perhaps I should've brought Meowy." You joked to Saeran as you nursed a cup of coffee. It was disgusting. Maybe if Jaehee was up to it, she would bring you better coffee later. Or tomorrow. You weren't sure if you would sleep.

Saeran didn't respond to your joke. He had been mostly going back and forth between watching the sky outside and watching his brother. You couldn't tell what he was thinking. You had never been able to read Saeran. Only Saeyoung seemed to know what his brother would be thinking.

You got up to move your chair next to him and sit down with him by the window. "Are you alright?" You asked quietly.

"I'm fine." He said neutrally. You weren't sure how true that was. Saeyoung had told you once that he and Saeran shared a bond similar to other twin stories you had heard. They could sense each other's pain sometimes and their emotions. You found it amazing even if you very slightly envied such a bond. You wondered if he could feel Saeyoung's pain. If he had known his brother was in trouble.

"Thank you." You murmured to him. "It's thanks to you that he's alive."

Saeran scoffed bitterly before visibly trying to contain himself. His fists clenched against his legs as he glared out of the window. "That's ironic. He shouldn't have been doing something like that again."

"No, he shouldn't have." You agreed.

"Why aren't you angry at him?"

You sighed tiredly. "How can I be mad when I'm just so relieved he's alive?"

Saeran watched you, narrowing his eyes in mild confusion, before looking back at his brother. ". . . Saeyoung chose an interesting woman." He said, mostly to himself.

You didn't respond to that and returned to Saeyoung's side. You felt exhaustion all throughout your body. You wanted to lay down and go to sleep as well, but you knew that soon you would have to leave with Saeran. You gently grabbed Saeyoung's hand and rested your forehead on his uninjured shoulder and closed your eyes. You listened to the beat of his heart, counting his pulse under your fingers. He was just sleeping, you knew, but you still wished that he was awake. You wanted to hear his voice again. It was a solidifying presence.

"You can't keep doing this." You whispered for nobody's ears but your own. The only other person you wanted to hear you wasn't awake, but you kept talking anyway, "It's killing you, Saeyoung. No more of this. You hate it. It's self-destructive." You teared up and blinked away the wetness. "I love you too much to watch you destroy yourself. So . . . I'll become more proactive. For you."

You tilted your smile into his shoulder and breathed for a few moments before squeezing his hand. "Don't think you're getting off easily." You said a bit louder. "Me and Saeran will team up against you."

"Betrayal." Saeran muttered, and you giggled a little wetly.

"Yes, exactly. Two against one. You can't stop us."

"With some convincing, we could make it six against one."

"Good point. RFA vs. Saeyoung."

"Easiest fight I'd ever have been in."

You pressed a long kiss to Saeyoung's cheek before standing up. The both of you would have to leave and you wanted to check on Vanderwood once before you went home for the evening. Tomorrow when Saeyoung was awake, you would be sure to scold him and kiss him properly.


	21. With A Hoarse Voice, Beneath the Covers

Saeyoung came to hate hospitals very quickly. He put up with his treatments, but all he could think about was going home. He missed his bed and he missed his wife. He wanted his cats and he couldn't stand not being able to fiddle with something when he was bored. All he had was his bedsheets to grip and tug at. At least he had enough medication in him that he didn't need to worry especially hard about pain.

Not that such a thing made much of a difference to him. His throat was still fucked to hell from screaming and he had still needed to ask Jumin for a dentist to replace a tooth he had lost. The only funny thing about the situation was that Saeyoung had finally been forced to go to a proper dentist. The fact that you hadn't been able to really brag about it only told Saeyoung all he needed to know about how bad he looked.

The doctors had told him not to talk for a whole extra day to give his throat time to recover. Under that promise, he had been allowed to go home with bedrest. You had taken off work to make sure you could care for him considering he couldn't really walk around. He needed crutches, but his shoulder was still messed up and his arm was broken, so he wouldn't be walking anytime soon. It was hateful, but he was thankful at least that he would recover full motion. Although he had been warned that his shoulder would be very tender for a while and to not overexert it. He would have to be careful when working.

Saeyoung stared at the ceiling in his bedroom, both Hunni and Mandu curled up next to him on the bed. The thought of working left a bitter taste in his stomach and mouth, almost as if he had just vomited. It wasn't the work he hated so much as it was your reaction to him writing down his thoughts for you. Your face had become stricken at the sight of the words, which had made Saeyoung drop the notepad in shock, before your face closed off and you turned away to busy yourself with cleaning the room. No amount of pulling on your shirt to get you to acknowledge him worked. Saeyoung felt like he would explode.

You must be angry. It was the obvious reaction. Saeyoung would be _furious_ with you if the situations were reversed. Not only lying to your face, but nearly dying in the process once again. Already Saeyoung had been yelled at by both Zen and Yoosung for being so reckless and taking on such a needless job again, but Jaehee and Jumin had also stiffly scolded him as well. Saeran had only glared at his brother before he had left the room. Saeyoung hadn't seen him since, but he had heard his brother's soft voice talking to you outside of the room. He wished that he at least had his phone so he could talk with everyone.

He could deal with everyone being angry with him. Hell, _Saeyoung_ was still angry with himself. Saeran's anger . . . was stressful, but knowing that _you_ were angry with him made Saeyoung almost panic. He couldn't bear the thought of your silent anger. You had never been like this with him. He didn't have data for it, but the closest thing he could think of was that you were angry. You had refused to talk to him when you two had fought, so maybe this was the same? It seemed like only out of duty did you properly care for him and help him to the bathroom when he needed to go. You wouldn't answer any of his questions.

Saeyoung's hands clenched in the cloth of his bed and his heart raced with agony. He needed to apologize to you. He just wanted to hear your voice again. But the only time you spoke to him were careful commands for him to drink his water or to ask if he needed help. You kept avoiding his eyes. It was breaking his heart but he couldn't even tell you.

He had already decided he would never do it again. Absolutely never. Old allies and people he owed could come to him begging on hands and knees and he would firmly kick them out. Hell the only ones he would ever do anything so dangerous for again would be anybody in the RFA. That was it. And they wouldn't ask him to do something so dangerous. He wanted to tell you that.

But would you believe him? Would you just consider him a liar? 707 had always been a liar. Luciel had also been a liar. Saeyoung wasn't supposed to be a liar. He didn't want you to see Saeyoung as a liar.

Actual pain began to lance through his body now. The medication was starting to wear off. The clock nearby alerted Saeyoung that it was time to once again get another dosage. He would try to talk to you again this time. He would apologize properly and beg you to speak to him. About anything at all, really. He just wanted to make things alright with you. He wanted to get a feel for how you were feeling. How angry you were with him. What he could do to make you smile for him again.

But you weren't the one to come into the room. He was surprised to see Saeran instead enter with the usual bottle of water and his pills. Saeran grabbed the chair from near the bed and pulled it over to place the tray on the bedside table. It was out of Saeyoung's reach unless he made a painful effort to reach it. Saeyoung didn't bother and instead watched his brother. Saeran grabbed the little notepad and the pen and tossed them both pointedly onto Saeyoung's lap.

"What happened to you not doing this anymore? We made a deal, didn't we?" Saeran asked. His voice was icy cold and it made Saeyoung shiver a bit. He remembered the deal he had made with Saeran. Neither of them would do anything dangerous anymore. Even though the definition of dangerous was rather flexible to both of the brothers. Both of them had been doing freelance hacking jobs (Saeyoung because he was bored and Saeran because he was trying to make his own money to move out one day), but neither of them had taken something so risky on in a long time. At least, not willingly. This definitely constituted as breaking that deal.

 **It wasn't supposed to be dangerous.** Saeyoung wrote.

Saeran clicked his tongue in disapproval, scrunching his nose a bit at the explanation. Saeyoung let his head thunk back against his pillows. That excuse would not go over well with anyone, but it was the only explanation Saeyoung had. Instead he crossed it out and asked after you. Usually you were the one taking care of him.

"She's taking a break. And getting advice."

 **Advice?**

Saeran's smile was slightly cruel. "On what to do with you now." Saeyoung's stomach dropped and he took a shaky breath. Were things really that bad that you were seeking advice about him? Who were you going to? What did you plan on doing with him? Saeran clearly could see his struggles and let him flounder in his steadily-increasing panic before adding, "She's been working on something new for you to do."

Saeyoung tried to breathe through his fear as he shot his brother a questioning look.

Saeran folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in the chair, watching his twin. His next words were stilted, clearly unwilling to talk about it but choosing to do so anyway, "You . . . hate your old job as a hacker. Working for others. Always being behind the scenes . . . Just like me." He murmured in addition, looking away. "But you need something to do."

All of it was true. It wasn't as if Saeyoung had been quiet about it. He had the habit of speaking out loud to himself as he worked or did things around the house, and that included his thoughts on his own situation. He was sure that both you and Saeran had heard him mention repeatedly how he wished that he really _could_ just live a cozy life with all of the money he had saved up like he had told Vanderwood, but it wasn't practical for him to do so. He wanted to have fun too. Make a difference.

"You can't do this again." Saeran finally told him, his glare back. "I won't forgive you."

Saeyoung closed his eyes and nodded in agreement. He never planned on doing anything like it again. There would be almost nothing that could force him to do anything so dangerous.

Saeran grabbed the water and pills and fed them to Saeyoung a bit rougher than one should really handle a patient, but Saeyoung couldn't blame his brother for his anger. Now he just wished that you would come home so he could try to make amends to you. Saeran wouldn't hear any apologies (at least, not until Saeyoung could talk properly), so it would be pointless to try to apologize to him. Chances were that it would only make him angrier.

He didn't see you again until the evening though. His mind was groggy, but he had awoken to you crawling into bed with him. Saeyoung turned his head to see your silhouette and stared, shocked. His hand reached out automatically and grabbed your arm, startling you. He couldn't voice his words, so he stared at you in confusion. Your hand touched your now-short hair nervously, avoiding his gaze. Why did you keep avoiding his eyes?

"It's . . . a shock, right?" You asked quietly. He couldn't tell in the low lighting, but you must have cried at some point. He could hear a roughness to your voice that he had come to associate with your tears. The sound had a direct line to his heart that would inject it with breathless guilt and horror immediately. He had made you cry again. "I just . . . I thought it would be nice. A change."

 _Why?_ He wanted to ask, but he couldn't. You turned off the soft light and shifted down on the bed to get under the covers. You curled yourself tightly next to him, but didn't touch him. Saeyoung's hand released your arm in the process, but immediately began to burn with the need to touch you again.

"I should've . . . I should be angry." You confessed weakly, the darkness making you braver. "I should be so mad at you for lying to me. For doing something so dangerous. For not _telling me_ you were going to do something so dangerous . . . !" Saeyoung could only watch you, stricken as you gripped the bedsheets and curled your shoulders in a bit further. He felt the blanket over both of you shudder a little with your silent sob. "But I can't. I'm just . . . I'm so happy you're alive, Saeyoung. Even if I _am_ upset about the lying!"

Saeyoung couldn't hold back. He needed to comfort you. "I'm sorry." He said, and his eyes welled-up against the grating feeling in his throat. It ached distantly with pain, mostly muffled by the opiates he was on. Your quiet gasp was loud enough for him to ignore his pain.

"Don't talk!" You cried quickly, hand shooting out to squeeze his arm. His hand came up to try to grab yours, and you responded to it by taking his hand. Instantly his heart lightened just a bit. "You'll hurt yourself again."

He didn't care. He really didn't fucking care. But he didn't respond and continued to watch you. Your hand was shaking a little.

You took another breath and pressed onward. "I can't . . . I can't let you do something like that again to yourself. I won't . . . I won't forgive you a second time if this happens again!"

He squeezed your hand tighter this time in assurance. If he could, he would swear to you that he wouldn't ever do it again.

You scooted a bit closer on the bed until he could feel your body heat. "But . . . you kept your promise to me. You came home." He could hear the soft smile in your voice even if he could barely see it. "And that's . . . that's all I can care about. I don't . . . God, I don't want to think about the alternative. Of if you hadn't called. If you hadn't contacted Saeran. If you hadn't come back to me-!" Your voice broke and Saeyoung couldn't deal with it anymore.

He didn't care if he was in pain. He pulled your towards him and pressed your face to his neck. Your hand came to clutch at his shirt as you cried a bit more, and he could only clench his eyes shut at your sorrow. He didn't care if it messed up his voice more. He didn't care how much his recovery may be set back from too much movement.

"I love you." He whispered, and then put more force into it, "I won't ever do it again, I swear. I can't bear to have you like this."

"Oh Saeyoung, don't talk!" You begged, but he ignored you and pressed on despite the hoarseness of his voice.

"I'm so sorry. I swear I'll make this up to you. I won't have you cry like this again. I promise you that. I'll have you safe and happy, honey. Please . . . believe me."

"I do." You told him. "I always believe you." He huffed a disbelieving laugh. You were too trusting. It felt like he was taking advantage of it. But he believed your words. And it filled him with both pressure and joy to know that you would be on his side always. You had already proven that time and again.

"God . . . I love you so much!" He whimpered, his voice cracking and breaking between. And he cursed his inability to speak. You shushed him quickly, laughing just a bit through your tears as your hand come up to cover your mouth.

"You sound like you're going through . . . a horrible second puberty with how your voice is breaking." You joked. He laughed once, and then groaned. That had been too much for his sore body. You sat up and reached across him for his water bottle and pills. Apparently you had left them there at some point. You only gave him a small dose, though, to help him get through the rest of the night. He lifted his hand to touch your side after you had given him the dose and laid back down.

You laid your head on his good shoulder and sighed against his neck. His arm slipped around behind your head (ignoring the ache that caused) to gently play with your hair. It would take some time to get used to it being short, but he thought it looked cute on you. He would be sure to tell you as soon as he was able. He would make it all up to you. He would be sure to prove he deserved your trust in him.


	22. As We Lay Together in the Spring Grass

There was an intervention in order for Saeyoung. Everything was already planned out and confirmed with Jumin as an in to his company. You already had a list of a couple of contractors that you and Jaehee were friendly with after the construction of the coffee café. Yoosung and Zen had been helping you with a couple of investors who may be willing to sell some supplies to you for low costs. Saeran had already helped you with the math needed to calculate the total cost of everything and how to budget your income with Saeyoung's savings. There was nothing left for Saeyoung to do but to agree. It was your job to ensure that he did. Or that he finds an alternative.

The thought of bringing it up was a bit nerve-wracking, though. You'd had plenty of time to work with everyone while Saeyoung had been recovering, but now Saeyoung had recovered enough that you needed to put your plan into action. Nothing could move forward if he didn't agree. It also felt a little wrong of you to just spring it on him. You hadn't hinted at your plan to him while he was recovering because you only wanted him to focus on recovering and not about the future. Now you didn't have an excuse.

(And if you were ever so slightly convinced by Saeran and Zen that you deserved just a tiny bit of revenge . . . that was something nobody called you out on.)

It had been busy at your house with the visitors who kept coming and going. Yoosung was the primary visitor considering he had the most time on his hands, but Zen and Jaehee stopped by often too. At least, when Zen could handle it. He always had to wear a facial mask because of the cats. It always surprised you whenever Jumin popped around for a chat as well, but you knew that he and Saeyoung had an interesting dynamic. Especially since Jumin had saved all of your lives and had taken over the role as the leader of the RFA. His tolerance for Saeyoung's joking and nonsense seemed to have increased, at least, so the two seemed to relatively enjoy each other's presences.

You were more surprised when Vanderwood had recovered enough to make a visit. You hadn't seen how angry Saeran had gotten at Vanderwood, but it was bad enough that Vanderwood now eyed Saeran warily as he passed. Saeran only watched him with narrow eyes.

"You're not angry with me?" He had asked you when you two had met each other again. "I was the one who brought Seven –uhh Saeyoung- along." He had looked down and away from you. "It was my fault he got so hurt."

"I should be." You had confessed to him. "But I'm not. If I was going to be angry, it would've been back in the hospital. Any anger I had has already faded." You paused and then pointed sternly at him. "But if you _ever_ do something like this again with him . . ." You left the threat hanging briefly so his mind had time to possibly fill in anything it wanted, "Just remember I have _very_ powerful connections."

Vanderwood had only stared at you, startled, before he finally huffed a laugh and wiped at his forehead. "That guy definitely chose an interesting woman . . ." You wondered why everyone kept saying that.

When Saeyoung had healed enough, you had decided to take him on a very gentle date. He still walked with a limp and his shoulder was still bad, so there wouldn't be much walking. His arm was also still recovering from being broken. However the weather was nice and both of you had been stuck inside for far too long for your sanity, so you didn't want to be inside anymore. So you put him in one of his cars and together you had both driven out of the city and to a familiar place.

"Isn't this . . . where we had the picnic?" He asked as he limped along behind you while you led him through the grass. It was still cool out because of the early spring air. It refreshed you in a way that nothing else could. Saeyoung may be a recluse, but you certainly weren't. At least, not twenty-four/seven.

"Yup!" You informed him cheerfully and spotted a good section of grass before you plopped onto the ground. You patted the spot next to you with a smile before laying back. Saeyoung carefully lowered himself to the ground next to you before laying back as well. You took a deep breath as the wind caught your short hair and brushed it back from your face. You were a little chilled because you still weren't quite used to its length yet, but Saeyoung had agreed that he liked it so you didn't feel uncomfortable.

"Are we having another picnic . . . ?" He asked you slowly, turning his head to watch you. Already he was becoming a little antsy. You hadn't told him anything but for him to just get in the car with you. It was cute how he squirmed. Your hand found his and you played with his fingers idly. It calmed him down just a bit.

"We can eat later if you want. I just wanted to go outside." It did your heart good to sit under the sun. And Saeyoung definitely was looking too pale. Some time outside would probably help him just as much as it did you. You turned your head to watch him back, smiling more. "Also because there's something I need to talk to you about."

"Okay." He agreed, his voice curious. He didn't have that same anxious energy about him that he'd had when you had first started nursing him back to health. Your forgiveness of him seemed to have relieved his mind quite a bit. Which was very good because you didn't want him being worried or panicking or angry. His anxiety was bad enough without fear of you having problems with him as well. There was almost nothing he could do to make you have a problem with him. Or, rather, almost nothing he could do that would _really_ piss you off. You hoped to never find it out.

Either way, he had become a suspiciously great patient since you two had made up. You weren't sure what exactly you had said to make him not complain during his treatments (especially considering he had already told everyone more than once that he had grown to hate hospitals after his and Saeran's time in one), but it made you feel strange. You had a feeling that whatever you said had lifted some kind of burden off of him and he was in a relaxed state now. You hoped your next words wouldn't upset him again.

"Saeyoung, why don't we open a toy shop together?" You suggested.

His eyebrows immediately came together, confused. "A toy shop?"

"Yeah. You love to build robots and stuff . . . so why not make a profit? Remember how you had mentioned possibly selling robot cats with Jumin and stuff?"

Saeyoung puckered his lips in thought and hummed, turning his head to gaze at the sky. "But that was mostly just a thought. My robots are dangerous. And most are too advanced for just some little kid play-things."

You nudged him to draw his attention back to you. You weren't about to back down. "But you can just change those features." You rolled onto your side and scooted closer, moving your hand linked with his onto his stomach. "People will love your robots. They're so much fun! And you can program them to do special things."

"You do realize that won't make us much of a profit, right?" He asked.

"It depends on what way you wanna do it. I already have some investors who may be interested. And Jumin still wants to do the robot cats . . . and maybe others too! Saeran and I have made a budget for if we really do open up a toy shop as well."

Saeyoung sat up a bit more with a wince, surprised. "How much have you planned without me?" You couldn't quite tell what he was feeling by his reaction, but it didn't feel especially bad.

"A lot." You confessed with a small smile. "I've been thinking about it for a long time. Even before . . . this." You nodded to his injuries.

"Why, though?" He asked quietly, still baffled. "We were going to live off of the money I've saved up."

"Because I love you and because I don't want you doing anymore hacking jobs." Your voice was harder than you had meant it to be, and it startled both of you. But you wouldn't take it back. You were serious and you were tired of Saeyoung hurting himself because he didn't know how to take care of himself. It was funny in a not-very-funny way how he could take care of others just fine, but he was terrible at caring for himself and his own well-being. That meant you would take care of him. It was your choice to do so.

You softened your voice a bit because you didn't want him to think you were angry. "I know that hacking is something you do because you want something to do, Saeyoung. No matter how much you say we can live off of your money, that doesn't matter if you're bored out of your mind. You ridiculous recluse." You kissed his hand playfully before becoming serious again. "So I wanted to find you something to do. Something fun. And you dreamed about a toy shop, didn't you?"

Saeyoung dropped his gaze, thinking. "It was just a dream, though. It doesn't mean that I want to open a toy shop. I don't think they would allow a toy shop with defenses anyway."

You huffed laugh and sat up, dropping his hand so that you could hover over him. With his head trapped between your arms, he had no choice but to look at you. When his eyes met yours properly, you smiled and pressed a kiss to his nose. "Then we find something else. I just want you to be happy, babe. Things change over life. Just because you said one thing doesn't mean you can't decide to do something else."

He didn't respond, instead just watching you. You could see the twisted emotions swirling in his eyes. You dropped some of the playfulness to something much gentler. "This isn't the agency, Saeyoung. You can do whatever you want, remember?" You lifted yourself up and brushed your fingers over one of the bruises on his face. "So I want to help you be happy."

"I am happy." He assured you with a quick breath.

"Happi _er_." You corrected yourself.

Saeyoung attempted to sit up, so you moved and helped him into a sitting position. He let out a pained huff before he grabbed you and pulled you closer to him to kiss you. It was still somewhat difficult to kiss him without him being hurt because his face was still very much sore, but he never complained about it. When he wanted a kiss, he wasn't shy about it. Again with that whole "he doesn't know how to take care of himself" thing, you had thought with amusement.

"Give me time to think about it. And . . . let me see what you have planned." He finally conceded. You could hear the cogs turning in his head just from his voice alone.

"Okay!" You agreed. "When we get home I'll show you."

His smile finally returned and he asked in a playful voice, "So now that that's over, did you actually bring me out this far to only give me an intervention? Or is there something more planned?" The hand that wasn't in a cast danced up your side.

"Oh yes! You caught me. I'm actually here with you because I'm a voyeur and I wanted public sex with an injured man."

"I knew it!" He cried.

"Stop!" You laughed and pressed a kiss to his lips before laying back on the grass. "I just wanted to lay with you here a while until we get hungry. Then I thought we could grab something to eat and a movie."

"Wine and dine me, honey." Saeyoung consented and laid back down with you. You twined your fingers together with his and sighed contently. A fresh spring start, you decided. Now you only wished that Saeyoung could make life decisions _without_ a terrible threat nearly killing him.


	23. Slowly, Words Dripping From Your Tongue

Saeyoung had taken off his cast by now and was undressing himself for the first time without help when you had entered the room. He had blinked, startled because he had been certain that the door had been locked, but you only looked him up and down. You had that little thoughtful look on your face that always instantly made his curiosity poke its head out and would niggle at his mind until he finally received answers. You didn't seem to realize you had this effect on him.

"Surprised?" He asked, motioning to himself. "I can finally do this on my own!"

"I'm happy for you!" You shot him a delighted smile, but your thoughtful look hadn't fully abated.

"Staring at your handsome and no-longer-bruised husband?" He suggested, wiggling his bum and batting his eyelashes. That got a grin out of you.

"Actually yes." You nodded and approached him. Your hands pressed to his pectoral and side, gently running your fingers along the skin there. You fingered at where there had been a terrible bruise on his ribs before sliding down to his stomach. The wound there was still scaring and he had to be gentle with it, but at least there weren't any more stitches. Goosebumps raced across his skin at your soft touch.

"You have new scars." You murmured. You pressed your palm to his stomach, your eyes lowered to look slowly between all of the mostly-healed wounds. He knew that you could still clearly see the bruises in your mind's eye. Saeyoung could still feel the ghost of the pain. "Do they still hurt?" You asked as you lifted your head to meet his eye.

"Sometimes. Just a bit." He breathed and felt his skin tingle under your touch. It wasn't fair how you could have such an effect on him. He felt starved for your attention even though you were right there with him. It reminded him of the days where he would watch you through the cameras, his hands itching to touch you and hear your voice in person but not being able to. Now he had you within reach and could hear your voice whenever he wanted.

He couldn't stop his hands from pressing forward to wrap around your hips, stepping closer to you. Your hand slid up his chest to press over his heart while your other hand ducked to meet his. Your fingers tapped against the back of his hand. You had a strange mood about you that was starting to affect him.

You closed your eyes and breathed out a heavy breath, dropping your forehead to his shoulder for a few moments before lifting it again. Your cheeks were somewhat stained with a blush and your eyes were dark. It sent a coil of lust into his lower stomach. It was such a sin that you could play him like a fiddle if you really wanted to. You didn't even need to speak.

"Doctor said no serious activity yet." Saeyoung warned, a teasing lilt to his voice. He wasn't able to keep his amusement nor the desire completely from his voice. "Don't tempt me." You smiled slyly at him from underneath your lashes as you pushed his hand further up your body and under your shirt. The touch of your warm skin sent shocks through his system. That had to be a Pavlovian effect. "That's not faaaair." He whined and pressed a kiss to your lips.

"That's alright." You murmured. "I wasn't aiming for sex anyway. I was just . . . thinking."

"About?"

"About . . ." You trailed off and looked mildly embarrassed. Then you smiled ruefully and huffed a laugh. "Well, I guess I really was thinking about sex. But not for the reason you're thinking!"

"Mm-hm suuuuuure~" He chuckled pressed his forehead to yours, his fingers swiping over your stomach.

"I'm serious~" You whined before becoming a little more serious. "I've just . . . been thinking a lot." You tilted your head some and moved your hand to wrap your arm around his neck. The closeness of your body to his did wonders to him physically. His thoughts and mind seemed to steady out and his blood simultaneously boiled and sang with lust and sheer delight to have you in his arms. He wanted to bask in it more and more. He had never previously considered himself such a cheesy person before, but he couldn't help it. You seemed to have perfected the art of driving Saeyoung insane without even trying. He had to admit that it was quite and art to have mastered in only a couple years' time.

"More plans?" He asked.

"Something like that . . ." He shot you a confused look, but you just pulled back and shook your head. You turned to head back over to the dresser, almost talking only to yourself as you mused, "No, I think I'll save that thought for later. We have too much on our plate."

"Now you're just being a tease!" Saeyoung grabbed you around the waist and pulled you back to him. He blew a raspberry against your neck, making you gasp and squirm with laughter. "Tell me~"

"Later!" You promised, giggling as he continued to nip and kiss. The temptation was still bubbling just under the surface of his skin. He wanted to drag you over to the bed and kiss you until you told him everything that you were thinking about. He wanted to develop a program that could read your thoughts and translate them into a language only he could understand.

"Tell meeeee~" He squeezed you to him more.

You gasped, playfully scandalized. "Saeyoung! Control yourself!" You wiggled against him, glancing over your shoulder with sparkling eyes. "The doctor said no strenuous activity!"

"Is this strenuous?" He asked, moving against you more. "I don't _feel_ tired. I _feel_ like I . . ." He rolled his tongue as he dragged out the pause, "want you to tell me what you're thinking about!"

"That's not what _I_ feel." You said pointedly.

"Emotionally, babe."

"Physically, babe."

"You're not going to distract me!" He scolded, nipping at your ear. His hands slipped under your shirt to press to your stomach, tapping a staccato beat against it with his fingers. "Tell me or I won't let you go!"

"Okay." You agreed easily. "Don't let me go."

Saeyoung whined out your name. Why were you being so stubborn about it? Usually you would have just told him by now. It must be a much more serious thought than you had let on. Maybe it was something you really did need to think about more. But he wanted to know ahead of time so he could think about it too. He was good a multi-tasking. He could think about his future and whatever you wanted to talk about.

"It's fine, Saeyoung, really. I'll tell you later, okay?" You patted his hands before spinning around in his grip. "I would much. Rather. Do . . ." You dropped your voice and said slowly, your words thick as honey with intention and slow enough to have Saeyoung hanging on your every word, "Something . . . Much. Less. Strenuous~"

Saeyoung's mind had probably just exploded. His body would be sure to go up in flames soon. How could you talk like that to him? It was too much. It wasn't _fair_. That was like cheating! You had to have cheat codes to his mind and body. How could you just change your voice and suddenly send Saeyoung out of control? How could you possibly sound so in lust and so in love with him with just a few words? It was cheating! He needed to learn your ways. He wanted to have that effect on you too.

He would thank God every day that he got a hold of you first. That you had chosen him. The very thought of you using your cheat code powers on any other person would kill him, he was sure.

"Show me." He choked, his body humming with static and heat. And you laughed as you led him step by step back to the bed and pushed him back down onto it. At least he had already was mostly undressed for you. You were next. He could help you with that too.


	24. When Baking Chocolate Chip Cookies

**A/N: At this rate I'll be making a freaking "After story" series. There are still so many little stories I want to do but can't because it doesn't fit in with the theme of this particular story.**

* * *

You knelt next to the oven and flipped on the light so that you could check on the cookies baking in the oven. They had only been put in there a few moments ago, but you were antsy and hopeful that they would turn out well. The scent in the air was delicious and mouthwatering, although because you were the one baking the cookies you didn't actually feel like eating any. Besides . . . You, Yoosung, and Saeyoung had all picked at the cookie dough when you were making it. Even Saeran had stolen a small bite or two.

"Don't worry so much!" Yoosung pressed a hand to your back, so you stood back up. He patted your arm and smiled brightly. "The cookies will be great!"

"He's right." Jaehee piped up from the table where she was staring at Saeyoung's (new) laptop with him. "You are good enough at cooking to make cookies."

"I can't help but be a bit nervous. I've never made homemade cookies before." You were glad for the reassurance though. You knew logically your cookies would probably be fine, but you wanted them to be very good because you wanted to be sure your recipe was good. Maybe it was silly to make a "family recipe" that you had just made up, but you were having . . . thoughts about things recently, so you were being a little more silly than usual.

"I call first dibs!" Saeyoung cried, not for the first time.

"How many times are you going to say that, idiot?" Saeran scolded. He shifted somewhat uncomfortably as he adjusted the lace under his skirt. He wasn't used to wearing such a thing. You could relate considering you were in the same outfit. Only Saeyoung appeared completely comfortable in his own maid dress. Yoosung still kept shooting both of the brothers baffled looks because of your three matching outfits. Nobody had explained to him why you were all dressed that way.

"As many times as it take for all of you to remember." Saeyoung nodded before pointing at his screen. "Would that really work, though?" He asked Jaehee.

"I don't see why not. Admittedly it _is_ a little impractical for a toy shop, though."

"These are high-class robots!"

"You could consider just making them toys." Jaehee pointed out, somewhat exasperated.

Saeyoung only hummed around the tablet pen in his mouth. "What fun is that?" He asked around it.

The door across the house opened and Zen entered to place his bag aside on the chair next to the door. When he looked up, he startled to see so many people. "What the hell?" He asked, shocked. "Why are you all in my house?"

"You gave us a key." Saeyoung said.

"For emergencies-wait why are you all in maids dresses?! Even you, Saeran?!" Zen cried, looking between you and the brothers.

"Yeah! I want to know too!" Yoosung piped up, leaning against the counter. You kneeled down to check on the cookies again. They were already nearly done. The sweet scent in the air made you excited for their completion.

"My apologies for just entering your house, Zen." Jaehee said. She was the only one who was actually apologetic.

"No, it's fine. I don't mind you visiting, Jaehee." Zen admitted and finally gave in considering he didn't seem that anybody would be forthcoming with answering his question. He did call your name when he noticed you and smiled brightly. "You look so beautiful!"

"Thank you." You flustered a bit. This was definitely not your normal attire. If your own husband wasn't also sporting the same dress, you would be nervous about dressing in a maid's outfit in another man's house.

"But why are you wearing it?" Yoosung pressed.

"Are you making cookies in my house?" Zen glanced at the oven as well.

"We thought you might like some." You said.

"And we know how much you loooooove maids." Saeyoung teased, a smirk dancing across his lips. "Considering how worked up you got when I last wore a maid's dress~"

"I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS YOU!" Zen immediately protested, horrified that an old mistake was being brought up.

"Pervert." Saeran muttered as he climbed to his feet from the chair to enter the kitchen. He hovered around the stove and you. You knew he really wanted some of the cookies by the way he was acting. His anxiousness reminded you of Saeyoung. The two of them really were brothers. It was adorable. You would make sure Saeran got the second cookie.

"You have no room to talk!" Zen pointed at his dress.

"Why the _same_ dress, though?" Yoosung muttered. He seemed to have finally given up on getting answers as well. He turned his attention to Jaehee and Saeyoung instead, walking to hover over their shoulders and look at the screen.

"Let's not forget your interest in Ms. Vanderwood~" Saeyoung continued, giggling. "I can still give you her number . . . sssss."

"I'm not into dudes!" Zen glared at Saeyoung, more exasperated than anything.

The oven timer beeped then, and you eagerly grabbed for the oven mitts and turned off the heat. You pulled the tray of cookies out and smiled at the sight of them. There were a couple of thin ones and a couple of small ones, but for the most part they all looked good. You proudly placed the cookies down to cool as you regarded them.

"Ohh! They look great!" Yoosung said, grinning as he came over to check the cookies. "I knew they would!"

"I called first dibs!" Saeyoung told Zen.

"You are at _my_ house, though. Breaking and entering." Zen pointed out.

"Second dibs." Saeran said.

"Third." Jaehee called right before Yoosung. He pouted at being beaten to the punch.

"There's plenty for everyone." You laughed and assured them all.

"I brought over a gallon of milk, Zen." Jaehee added. "So we didn't use up yours."

"I'm not sure I have any." Zen admitted in a mutter.

"I can change that." Jaehee adjusted her glasses pointedly while Yoosung snickered.

"Me and Jaehee will take care of you, Zen~" You teased. "I already take care of two boys, after all!"

"It's true. She does." Saeyoung shamelessly agreed.

Zen only sighed. "No, but thank you." He shot you a smile. "Someone will be a great mother one day~"

You flushed and didn't respond, shooting a look at Saeyoung. He didn't seem to notice as he tapped his fingers against the table and stared at his computer. You could tell he was thinking hard about something. That was a relief. You weren't sure what you would do if you got into the "start a family" talk with him again at that moment.

"I'll go pour us some cups." Jaehee murmured, excusing herself from Saeyoung to get the milk. Zen grabbed a couple of glasses for all of you.

"Saeran, shouldn't we be pouring the drinks?" You teased, doing a quick twirl in your dress. He rolled his eyes and ignored you, shifting out of the way so that Jaehee could bring the milk over.

"How long until they cool?" He asked instead.

"Well we _could_ eat them now . . ." You mused. They would probably fall apart, but it was just your test batch anyway. And hot cookies were fantastic.

"Hey look!" Yoosung called as he checked on the cookies themselves. "This one kind of looks like it says 'I love you'. But with a heart!"

Saeyoung launched himself out of his seat to rush the stove. "THAT ONE'S MINE!"

"You've gotta be kidding!" Zen looked at the cookies too, squinting and tilting his head. "I don't see it at all."

"No no, I see it too!" Saeyoung traced the chocolate chips on the cookies. "It's a cookie especially for me!"

"Did you do that on purpose?" Yoosung asked you.

"Please say no." Jaehee said.

"It was completely coincidental." You assured both of them as Saeyoung took up the spatula to carefully scrape off his cookie. He surprisingly got it all in one piece.

"I can feel the love~" He sang cheerfully and pecked you on the lips. "Thank you, honey."

"It looks like my love comes through in my cooking." You flirted back.

Saeran and Zen both made disgusted noises.

"So jealous." Zen whined softly.

"Can you two stop acting like honeymooners for one day?" Saeran muttered.

"Never!" Saeyoung crowed, and then gasped horribly as Saeran retaliated by ripping Saeyoung's cookie in half. "NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Saeran pointedly popped the piece of cookie in his mouth. Saeyoung threw himself at his brother, wrapping him in a hug as his fingers went for Saeran's mouth. "Give it back!" Saeran shook his head and struggled to get away from his twin.

"Stop it!" Jaehee dodged out of the way as the brothers fell towards her.

"I swear they become such children around each other." Zen said.

"So cute." You couldn't help but murmur, watching their playful wrestling. It did your heart good whenever you saw Saeran actually play around with Saeyoung. It reminded you of just how far Saeran had come since you all had moved in together.

"You probably just encourage the behavior." Yoosung joked at you.

Saeyoung was shoved from Saeran, who scrambled back to his feet and away from his brother. In the process, the skirt of Saeyoung's dress flipped up to expose his underwear. Yoosung cried out in shock at the sight while Jaehee covered her face.

Saeyoung gasped and pulled his skirt down. "Don't look, you perverts~" He scolded his friends, shooting them a mock glare. "Give a lady her privacy!"

"I've been BLINDED!" Zen screamed, covering his eyes dramatically. "I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO SEE ANY OF THAT!"

"Are those mine?" You asked your husband. You didn't know whether to laugh or feel mortified.

"Yup!"

You looked at Saeran's skirt before your eyes darted to his face. You opened your mouth to ask, but he cut you off sharply with a, " _No._ I'm not."

"Why is this happening?" Jaehee asked, sounding a little more desperate for an answer.

"Why am I _friends_ with such weirdos!" Zen complained.

"I didn't realize you two wore the same size." Yoosung murmured under his breath, but you laughed loudly as you heard him. His cheeks were bright red and he looked like he was trying to erase the image he just saw from his head. You weren't surprised that he was. Saeyoung had chosen a pair of your skimpier panties. He must have gotten a little too into his character.

You shook your head and turned to your mentally scarred friends. "So . . . cookies?"


	25. On a Post-It Note

Ever since Saeyoung had been allowed back into the computer room after his injury, you had developed a new cute habit. You would leave him sticky notes on his computer at random times during the day when you were home. He never caught you doing it, but it had started to have a bit of a Pavlovian effect on his heart whenever he spotted your little notes. The sight of the little chibi version of you (based off of the emoticons Saeyoung had created for you to use in the chatrooms) in the corner of the white notes would bring a smile to his face.

They never had much written on them. Usually it was just little reminders such as appointments he needed to keep, or information to look up for you. Not that he really needed to be reminded, but he didn't mind. Sometimes they were little notes expressing love and encouragement. To keep Saeyoung's mind focused knowing that you were cheering for him. He caught himself more than once tracing your handwriting with his finger and his mind.

His favorite post-it notes, though, were your "challenges" for him. They would be written in bright red always and sometimes extended to more than one note at a time. The topic for the challenge was always random, so he never knew what to expect from you. One time you had given him a long math equation that he had to graph within a time limit and send a picture to you of its completion. "I'll know if you cheat!" your note had declared. He never knew where you found the time to think of the silly graphing equations (especially since you were definitely not as into math or as good as Saeyoung himself was at it), but the problems were creative enough for him.

Other challenges consisted of him using his memory. "Do you recall why I like _this_ movie versus _this_ movie?" or "What happened at our wedding in Florida that nearly gave Jaehee a coronary?" The harder challenges were ones where he had to leave the house and do something very specific. Sometimes embarrassing himself in public. Sometimes going to an event that he otherwise would not visit. Harder still was convincing Saeran to come on some of the adventures.

Saeyoung was aware of why you had started the sticky notes. You didn't want him to become bored. You wanted him to think or do something else. Have a change of pace. Because of his life in the agency, there was a lot of stuff he had done that others had not. But also because of his time in the agency, there were a lot of things that other people had experienced that Saeyoung had not. Saeran even more so. Of course he was only involved because you were very much aware Saeran wouldn't do anything you challenged him to do without prompting. Hence why Saeyoung was used.

He loved it. He loved you for thinking of him even when you were busy with your own work. You were distracted as of late, he had noticed, but you still had yet to tell him why. You always told him "Later. Later I'll tell you. It's nothing bad, babe." Your notes to him and the process of starting up his own business were enough of a distraction for him that he allowed your excuses to slide, but it was always in the back of his mind.

When Saeyoung reached a point in his work where he had to wait more than do anything else, you had issued him a new challenge. "Make me a dating sim game like you promised." Your note had ordered, followed by another cheeky note that said "Good luck~". You didn't specify what kind of dating sim you had wanted, so he made all of the dating options and storylines as ridiculous as possible before he sent the finished product to you. He heard your loud exclamation of laughter from the other room as you discovered the "main guy" of the game was actually Longcat.

"Do you think that people would want robots to date?" Saeyoung asked one night as you two had spooned together, the sweat drying on your skin. Your fingers played with his as he kissed your exposed neck. You had decided to keep your hair short for a longer while, it'd seemed.

You had laughed at his question. "Of course! Robot lovers everywhere!"

"Ahh, but if I make robot lovers they'll need to be fuckable." He had lamented.

"What kind of fool makes a robot you can't fuck?" You had asked, and he could tell by the playful dip in your tone of voice that you were quoting something. Most likely from Tambler.

"That's true." He had confessed. It was something to consider. He would need the right parts, and it would be difficult to come up with an algorithm for it. Chances are that there were others who had already attempted such a feat, so he would need to do some research on that. It would cost a lot of money to buy the materials necessary, but maybe he could go through Jumin's company for that. He would have to hack into C&M's computer to find out where their connections laid at.

"You're considering it, aren't you?" You'd asked sleepily. You had already started to fall asleep in his arms. Judging by his own state of creeping exhaustion, it was about time for you to go to sleep. He would follow along shortly after he had finished thinking.

"Well . . . it's a different _type_ of toy . . ." He had joked. You snort of laughter had only set him off giggling too.

Today you two had a very slow game of tic-tac-toe going. You had pasted it on his computer with a single X in the boxes, and he had marked down his spot afterwards. You only added your next X to it when you could sneak into the room when he wasn't in there, so the game was dragging on. He decided to get up and use the bathroom so you had time to respond to it.

He saw you on the couch reading again. He was tempted to go over and collapse onto your lap. He felt a little starved for your attention considering he had been on the computer for a long time that day, but there were still some things he needed to finish up. And if he laid down on the couch with you, chances were that he wouldn't have the motivation to get back up. At least the itch wasn't as bad as it had been before the two of you had moved in together. Now he could cuddle up to you almost whenever he wanted.

When he came back from the bathroom, you were still on the couch but he could tell you had moved over a bit. He bit back a smile as he entered his computer room only to discover that there was more than just the game post-it. He looked back at you through the glass window that separated the computer room from the living room and noticed that you were glancing at him. You ducked your head quickly back to your book.

"Su-spi-cious~" Saeyoung sang under his breath as he picked up the note to read, plopping himself down in his chair and spinning from the momentum of it. The note looked almost hastily-scrawled on, your letters messier than they usually were. Not like your "professional" challenges.

 **What would you name our child(ren) when we have some?**

Every nerve in Saeyoung's body was electrified. Not because you were asking about children (although that was definitely part of it), but because of the keyword you had put in there. "When", it had said. Which meant you had gone from considering children to being certain. You wouldn't write something like that unless you were certain.

He swallowed thickly, his mind blank of any names as suddenly he recalled your thoughtful self lately. _That_ had to have been what you were thinking about all of the time. It made sense why none of the others seemed to have any clue about your strange mood. Why you kept telling him you two would talk about it later (because he was busy with something very time-consuming). Why you had gotten flustered when Zen had mentioned motherhood (because Saeyoung had certainly not missed your reaction. He never missed your reactions when he could help it).

Saeyoung stood up and put a circle to mark his spot on the tic-tac-toe game. He really should go back to his work, but his attention and focus was completely shot now. He kept the note tightly in his fingers as he left the room to consider your nervous form on the couch. He could tell by the stiffness of your body that you were waiting for his answer.

He smiled at your nervousness, finding it cute. Honestly you already knew his opinion on kids, but you were right to be considering the current life decision both of you were going through. You must have thought about it enough of your own. Now it was time for the team play.

"Is it later yet?" He asked.

You nodded shyly and placed aside your book. It was as much invitation as he needed.


	26. Over a Cup of Tea

You were a bit nervous today. You had to sit down with Saeran and give him The Talk. Or, rather, A Talk. Which was frankly very nerve-wracking. It wasn't that you didn't get along well with Saeran or that he was intimidating (anymore), but you never really needed to have any kind of serious talk with him. It just wasn't something the two of you did by yourselves. You didn't often sit down with Saeran and drop a bomb on him.

You took a deep breath. You could do this. You talked to Saeran all of the time. His strange quiet mood could be a sign of his depression reappearing, so you wanted to give him some possible good news. He deserved to know. He lived in the house too, and he was your brother-in-law. You were sure he wouldn't react badly. You just needed to take the plunge.

"Saeran?" You poked your head around the corner to get his attention. He looked up from the middle of his LOLOL round and pulled off his headphones, regarding you with a questioning look. "Come have a date with me!"

Immediately Saeran's eyes narrowed with suspicion, but you knew you had caught his attention. He glanced behind you and around himself before asking, "Is Saeyoung going to once again 'catch us cheating'?" He sounded rather bored of the joke. Which was good because Saeyoung hadn't actually used it in a while. At least not since before he had gotten injured. You, personally, still thought it was funny because you always loved going along with Saeyoung's jokes, but you were also aware that going too far would make Saeran uncomfortable. And you weren't up to making your sibling uncomfortable, unlike Saeyoung.

"He's out right now." You assured him. "Just you and me."

"Why?" He demanded. He sounded a little on edge. You would need to tread carefully. You recognized the signs after living with him for so long.

You shifted nervously, but tried not to show it too badly. You had to steel your determination. "Because . . . I have something I want to talk to you about." You confessed with a tilt of your body back and forth. "And I ordered a tea I think you'll like!"

Saeran relaxed only a tiny bit, but it was enough to tell you that he was open to the suggestion. "You don't drink tea often."

"Truuuue . . . but I love this one! I haven't had it in a long time, though, because I forgot the brand and the flavor until I saw it at the store! So let's have tea and cookies and ice cream!" You threw your hands up cheerfully.

Saeran dithered for a moment, clearly weighing his options, but the temptation of sweets appeared to tip him over the edge. He gave you a curious look as he got up and joined you that you interpreted as "we never do this . . . but you wouldn't do me harm, so let's go." Your courage burned brighter and more steadily in your chest fueled by the weight of his silent trust in you. You had _earned_ that.

The two of you went out to the table where you had already set up the tea and treats. The tea was still steaming and waiting for both of you two to fix it the way you like it, but Saeran went for the bit of ice cream first. The hot tea with the cold ice cream was a delight. You thought you had quite the offering here.

"I like to add just a bit of milk and sugar to mine." You told him as you prepared your own tea. The fruity flavor of it wafted around you both, reminding you of the past when you had last drank the tea. You wanted to share it with all of your friends. You were sure that at least some of them would enjoy it as much as you. Maybe Jumin because he liked fruity flavors as well? Yoosung too, perhaps. You mused all of this aloud to your date.

Saeran didn't really respond as he tested out his own tea before adjusting it to his flavor tastes. He made a soft humming noise. ". . . It's not bad." He admitted.

"Thank you for saying that." You told him. "I know you don't like tea a whole lot either. But it's a good relaxer."

"Is that what you wanted to talk about, then?" He asked, somewhat coldly. You took a sip of your tea and scalded your tongue a bit in your effort to warm up after that coolness.

"No." You shook your head and felt your courage waver a bit. You took a breath. You needed to talk about it. It was only fair. "No, I . . . We . . ." You sighed and placed your tea down before grabbing a cookie. "Saeyoung and I, we . . . we're considering having a child." Saeran's eyes widened at your confession. You shifted your legs under you anxiously. "And I wanted to know what you thought of that."

Saeran looked down at his cup of tea, his eyebrows furrowed. He opened his mouth and looked like he was about to say something, but seemed to change his mind and instead abandoned the sentence. You waited patiently for whatever he would say next. You couldn't help but wonder if maybe it would be better if Saeyoung was here telling his brother instead of you. Had you been too hasty in your decision to do it alone? But no, you had become close to Saeran as well. Neither brother would fault you for speaking up, would they? Besides if Saeran took it badly . . . you didn't want Saeyoung getting the brunt of that. He'd had enough sadness that he shared with his brother.

Finally Saeran spoke after what seemed like a number of long minutes. He didn't meet your eyes as he asked, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you live here too, silly." You nudged his leg with your foot affectionately. "And you would be an uncle."

Saeran startled more at the thought, and his furrowed brows led to darker eyes. Your stomach dropped. Had you misstepped? Had you hurt him in some way? When he lifted his eyes to yours, they were closed off. His whole face felt closed off to you, but his body language was tense and almost hostile. You recognized those signs too. You would have to be _very_ careful. The very sight sent a chill through you, recalling Mint Eye's Saeran.

"You know . . . about our childhood, right? How much has Saeyoung told you?"

You swallowed but maintained eye contact with him, not backing down. You forced your body to stay relaxed as you took a small bite of your cookie. "Enough to . . . get the picture. He doesn't like talking about it."

Saeran scoffed a little, glancing away as he muttered, "That doesn't surprise me. Of course he doesn't." His eyes came back to yours. "Our mother was a drunk who essentially tortured us. Our father wanted to capture us just so he could kill us in secret. That kind of environment we grew up in . . . didn't exactly lend us any ideas on how to take care of a child."

Your own eyes widened now, understanding what he was going for. You breathed out, "Oh . . ." before running a finger along the rim of your tea cup.

"You get it then?" He asked, sitting back in his chair as he watched you. "Saeyoung doesn't know how to raise a child, and neither do I."

"I don't either." You offered with a tiny shrug and a smile. "But . . . you do know what _not_ to do when raising a child. And that can only help."

"Not really." He bit out.

You pressed on regardless. "Saeran, I don't believe any person is ever really _ready_ for a child. It's a mantle that a person either takes up . . . or drops. The mother you two had . . . did the latter, but both Saeyoung and me . . . we want to try, you know?" You leaned forward and touched his wrist gently. "I love him so much, and Saeyoung has always wanted a family. And he got a happy family with us. I have hopes of making it even happier. Do you . . . will you help us?"

Saeran's coldness dropped in favor of that quiet awkwardness he tended to exude in uncomfortable moments when he didn't know how to react. You released him so he would have a bit more space. ". . . It's not like I have a choice if you become pregnant and have a child." He murmured, rubbing his arm a bit.

You laughed lightly. "No, but we want you to be happy too. Uncle Saeran~" You sang.

He shot you an embarrassed glare and pointedly gulped his tea. You bit your lip to hide your smile at the blush staining his cheeks a bit. "When should I expect my idiot brother to start building computerized cribs?"

"I have no idea." You confessed. "But we agreed not to . . . jump into this too soon. We still have his shop to deal with. It wouldn't be good to bring a baby into an environment that's not prepared for it."

"That's true . . ."

"Are you okay with it then?"

Saeran broke off a cookie and dipped it into his bowl of ice cream. He dunked it a couple more times before finally saying, "I'm scared for your children."

"You wouldn't be a good brother if you weren't!" You laughed, delighted that Saeran seemed pleased if a little hesitant about the idea of becoming an uncle. You couldn't wait to tell Saeyoung. Now you just had to make sure Saeyoung didn't accidentally spoil the surprise to the others in the RFA. It would be great to see all of their reactions to finding out about the pregnancy when it occurred. You two had both agreed that it had to be face-to-face with all of them. You informed Saeran of the plan knowing he would never give away your secret, but wanting him to know it actually was a secret.

Saeran twirled his thumb through his fingers and gave you a devious smirk. "Let's make sure Yoosung or Zen is drinking something when you tell them."

You shared the grin with him, already itching with excitement. It seemed sadism was a Choi family thing.


	27. Over and Over Again

One thing Saeyoung never got tired of was cuddling. It was the best invention in the world, in his humble opinion. The feeling of holding someone he considered one of the most important people in the world in his arms and just feeling them breathe with him was the absolute best. It didn't matter if it was hot or cold if it meant he could feel that you were alive and with him. It made him think about how lucky he was there to be with you.

He found his hands wandering sometimes on your body without any kind of sexual intent. His fingers would press to your pulse unconsciously, and his breathing would alter to match yours. His hand would slip up your shirt to press against your sternum to feel your heartbeat and every breath you took. He would hold his own breath so he could hear your soft exhalations while you were sleeping and when he couldn't sleep. He would rest his ear on your chest sometimes and just listen, or you would do the same to him. You would grab his hand and play with his fingers, or he would bury his hand in your hair to gently run his fingers through it. Your skin would bubble with goosebumps at the petting, which always encouraged him closer to do more.

Basically, he just loved cuddling. Maybe it was an attention-starvation thing? He'd never really gotten physical affection before in his life. His friends pushed him away when he would hug them no matter how playfully, and he certainly didn't have an affectionate family. God knows the agency wasn't about to treat any recruits like human beings. But you put up with all of his attention whenever he wanted it. The only times you shoved him away was when he became a bit overbearing, which usually only occurred when he'd had far too much sugar or caffeine. Sometimes he knew he could be embarrassing to you in public by hopping on your back, but before he could get self-conscious about it, you would usually jump on his back instead, so he supposed you didn't mind.

You were leaving him tomorrow morning. It was a trip with Jumin and Jaehee that required you three to all travel for approximately a month in an effort to set up the new RFA groups in other countries. It had been planned for quite a while, but had taken far longer than anticipated to free up Jumin's schedule enough and for Jaehee to leave the café unattended. It was another one of the reasons you and Saeyoung had agreed to postpone on any future family-building. Neither of you wanted to find out you were pregnant while travelling.

Considering the fact that you were leaving so long, Saeyoung felt it due to him to keep you in bed with him all day. Not necessarily in an R-rated way (although he wouldn't stop the temptation when it occurred), but just holding you and soaking up your presence while he could. Despite his super good memory, he always found himself forgetting things about you. The sound of your voice was first, followed by your laugh. The more stressed he was, the quicker he forgot. It was very frustrating for him.

"You have to call often." Saeyoung muttered into your skin, kissing up your stomach to your sternum.

"Of course." You agreed, breathing out as you turned your head for his lazy exploration. He hovered over you, feeling your pulse under his lips. You wrapped your arms around his back as he nosed at your hair near your ear.

"At least seven calls." He bargained.

"Mission accepted, Captain Seven!" You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him down. He collapsed on you, causing the air to rush from your body, but you only grinned. He slipped his arms around your back and buried his face into your neck, rolling you both onto your sides while you giggled.

"I'm counting on you, Captain! . . . Ahhh!" He groaned against your skin before lifting his head and pouting to your face. "Don't leaaaave! It will be so lonely without you hereeee!" His fingers kneaded at your back anxiously. "What will I do without you here to remind me to eat? And clean? And sleep?"

"I'll remind you." You promised, pecking the tip of his nose. "You'll have to survive like you did before."

"Ms. Vanderwood won't come here to clean for me anymore . . . unless I can bribe her . . ." Actually, that may be a pretty good idea. As far as Saeyoung knew, Vanderwood was still in Korea. If he called him up, would Vanderwood come over? Cleaning the house would be a good way to make up for fucking Saeyoung over like he did . . .

But Saeyoung could tell by the watchful look on your face that you knew exactly what he was thinking, and certainly didn't agree. He jutted his lip out a bit. How could you scold him without even speaking? Not faaaaair!

"Please try to at least eat properly while I'm gone, honey." You told him. "I don't want to come home to find you sick or passed out."

"You won't~! Besides, I don't have to work like I used to." Which was a blessing. That was one of the best changes of his past was that he didn't have to worry about being forced to work.

"You also have plenty to do while I'm gone." You continued, dancing your fingers up and down his spine. Your hips and body pressed to his was slowly raising his body heat, but he ignored it for the time being. He still had a little while yet before you would insist on going to sleep so you could wake up early enough. He was feeling too affectionate to push for anything further. Just having you there with him right then was enough. It made the upcoming month seem like torture.

"Yeah yeah." He tapped his forehead to yours. His mental checklist was still very much present in the back of his mind. He had an entire room he needed to set up with Saeran while you were gone. He had promised to do it considering he needed something else to do in his downtime when he wasn't working with contractors or building prototype toys. He had plenty of time on his hands, and yet not enough time. He knew you were hoping it was enough to distract him from you being gone. He doubted it would be enough. Even when he had been under the pressure of death and threat to the RFA all he had been able to think about was you.

Admittedly your life wasn't in danger now, so maybe that little factor would change something too.

"For once I'm going on the adventure~" You teased, freeing your arms from him to brush his hair back from his face before your hand trailed down behind his ear and neck. "I'll tell you plenty of stories while I'm gone. Praise me, Saeyoung~"

"Good job!" Saeyoung kissed your forehead. "But it's not fair you get to go with Jumin and Jaehee. They get to have all the fun with you!"

"Saeran would've had to come too," you admitted, "but he didn't really want to. I'll convince him next time."

"Even taking my brother! What a cruel wife!"

You only laughed at his scandalized voice and wrapped your arms around his neck to kiss him. He made a noise of discontent, but still opened his mouth at your prodding. He never could resist kissing you, and the heat covering his body and infecting his nerves had his mind shifting gears. Suddenly all he could think about were the things you would gasp out at his touch. Your sweet words and the praises that would slip from your mouth without your notice. His mind would unconsciously count how many times you would confess your love for him until he couldn't understand a word that you were saying. Even your babbling was adorable to him.

Plus how flustered you would get when he pointed it out was hilarious.

You breathed out his name on a shaky breath as his hands slipped beneath your clothes, your hands burying themselves into his hair. He grinned to himself as you whimpered out your first praise, apparently farther along than he had suspected. If he could keep his head about himself, he would make sure to count each and every time you babbled senselessly to him and then tell you afterwards on the phone. It was something to look forward to while you were gone.


	28. In a Letter

Dear Schmoopy-doodle~

Did I make you laugh? Did you blush? I can come up with more silly nicknames for you! I know you'll love hearing all of them, whether you want to or not! I've been asking different people for ridiculous nicknames for lovers just for the sake of being as embarrassing as possible in public. We can make it a game to play around the others! What do you think? Bumple-nuttle~ Sweetie pie~ My Special Pookie~ First one to blush loses!

Being in English-speaking countries is very strange. The cultures are so different wherever I go, and at times there are a lot of dialects I don't really understand. Jaehee and Jumin have been a blessing with that considering they've travelled much more than I have. It makes me wonder how good your English is. I mean, I've heard you speak it plenty before, but can you understand some of these people? I can't. It's very frustrating and embarrassing at times. At least they forgive me considering I'm the person they usually correspond with over emails. We've only really chosen friendly people, after all. (Jaehee says that we don't need a whole lot of other Jumins, but I think one Jumin per country should be fine.)

Oh, you're probably wondering why I'm writing a letter. It's strange, right? Nobody really writes letters anymore with all of the technology we have, but I was feeling a little nostalgic. There's nothing like receiving a letter in the mail! Although Yoosung will have to give you the letter considering the government isn't aware of our mailing address...

Well, actually, if I'm to be completely honest...my phone broke. Or rather, it was accidentally dropped in the water while I was using it on a boat. I can't believe I made such a stupid mistake, but here we are! By the time you get this letter I will probably have a new phone and this will be old news, but it's still going to be funny to see this letter later.

Ugh.

It's only really been two weeks and I miss you a lot. I miss you~ So much~ I love you~ So much~! Sa-e-yo-ung~ (Can you hear me singing it? I'm definitely singing it. I've received some weird looks from some of the people around me who can see me write this.) I suppose I shouldn't whine too much considering I talk with you every day and message you whenever we both can, but it's not really the same. I guess I got used to having someone sleep in bed with me. I'll have Jumin or Jaehee keep me warm instead.

...You just got a little huffy then didn't you? I know you too well~ I'll just use a pillow to cuddle with in the meantime. And the shirt I stole from you. And the underwear...!

Kidding! I didn't take any underwear. That would be weird.

(I did take a shirt and your jacket, though. Sorry babe!)

It's not as fun joking around like this when I can't see your reactions or have you write back to me right away. I'll just have to imagine it instead. Or ask you to tell me what you think later when you get this letter. Something like that! Maybe we can show this letter to our future kid(s) and see what they think?

...Oh no, now I've made myself blush. It makes my heart race thinking about that kind of stuff.

I'll move on.

Things are going well from our end! The other day Jumin had one of our French RFA members confess their love to him. It was really funny to watch his eyes widen briefly! I almost missed it! It was made all the more funny because I don't think Jumin was able to tell if they were a man or a woman. I can just imagine the headline if anybody back home found out! I would've asked, but I think I may just accidentally insult him/her. Maybe it's better not to ask them. I'll ask Jumin instead. Maybe convince him to go on a date? I doubt he will, but the person is interesting enough. Maybe I should have dinner with them sometime (platonically).

I really wish I had my phone. Sometimes these things are so booooring! I would play a game or something or answer emails normally, but until I get a new phone I have to borrow Jaehee's. And I don't feel right taking her phone just to play games. And her messenger doesn't have access to emails. I hope I can set up the messenger on my new phone. I'll probably ask you to lead me through it.

I've thought of some more challenges for you when I get home! You'll have to go into overtime to catch up on all of the post-it notes I can't give you while I'm gone! I have a couple for Saeran too!

Oh, I forgot to tell you! I'm going to tell you here so there's absolutely no risk of anyone overhearing me! Jaehee is hilarious when she's wasted! I think we all underestimated the effectiveness of the spiked coffee we were served at an unofficial meeting. She becomes so talkative and scary! Jumin honestly looked very unnerved. She attempted to strip of a little too many clothing because of the heat of the alcohol and the day. It was a scramble to get her to stop and in the process I saw her use one of her judo moves! It was SO AWESOME! I would've tried to help them and maybe would've led Jaehee away, but I was on the floor in tears watching everything. I'm surprised I remember it all considering I wasn't exactly sober myself, but my memory withstood the attack of the alcohol!

The hangovers the next day were not fun. And Jumin refused to look either of us in the eye.

Worth it.

I had recorded evidence, but it was on my old phone. I never told either of them about the video. I don't know if you can hack into waterlogged phones or find that video again, but if you do please save it. I wanna watch it again!

I'm running out of room on this paper now and I have to get ready to leave for the day. I can drop this letter off in the mail before we all head out to the airport to travel again. I'll try to get a new phone as soon as I can! I've enclosed a drawing that a friend made for me that I thought you might enjoy. It has a strange 3D effect to it, I think. Try holding it away from your face and slowly bringing it closer! I hope creases won't mess it up.

I'll talk to you soon! Or, if this letter is really late, we'll see each other very soon! Maybe we're sitting right next to each other? In which case, kiss me already! Mwah!

Love Always,

Schnookums/Poopsy Doodles/Sugar Lips/Your Kitten

Meow~


	29. Before We Jump

Saeyoung's heart was racing in his chest. His pulse fluttered with the mixture of nerves and hormones threatening to knock him over. He gazed at your naked body spread out across the sheets of your makeshift bed. The dim lighting from the lamps outside of the little fort you two had built casted shadows in interesting shapes across your body. His fingers ached to trace over them, but he found that he couldn't move.

Your eyes flashed as you tilted your head, sitting up some. "Saeyoung?" You called his name. Fire darted down his neck and along his spine to burn his body. Lightning bolts had to have scarred his skin. He tingled at the sound of your voice, but his breathing distracted him. It was heavy, but not in the good way. He couldn't quite comprehend his own nervousness. Even his first time with you had not been tangled up in this strange mixture of fear and anxiety. Back then he had been too overcome with the need to press proof of his existence onto your skin. He didn't want you to forget him just in case everything had gone sideways with rescuing Saeran.

It was different now. He didn't have that same desperation anymore to fuel him. Maybe he was having a delayed "first time jitters" kind of thing? Yoosung had mentioned something like that before. Saeyoung hadn't thought anything of it at the time because back then he hadn't ever considered that he would be climbing into the bed of anyone he loved enough to do that sort of thing. And when he had someone to think about like that, his mind was very much busy with other things.

"I can see you thinking." You murmured as you reached out to touch his arm, running your hand up and down his bicep. "Tell me?"

"Sorry." Saeyoung smiled and felt his nerves shine through with it. "Suddenly can't shut my mind up."

"What about?"

"Just . . ." How could he tell you about how he was nervous with sleeping with his wife suddenly? You both have been together for over two years already and you certainly hadn't been chaste in that time. Why was it that just the slightest change in the algorithm was crashing his hard drive? His body was frozen because he was too busy trying not to malfunction. "You're sure about this? Once we jump ship . . . that could be it. It could only take one time."

You sat up all the way and brushed his hair back and behind his ear. Your thumb stroked at his temple, and that calmed him down ever so slightly. "Honey I love you, and I'm ready when you are." You told him. "But if you're nervous, I still brought protection just in case. We can wait." You shrugged. "I don't mind."

He didn't want to wait. Not really. It was just a matter of actually getting his body to cooperate and his mind to shut the hell up. He had a ready and willing wife right in front of him. He just needed to stop being stupid.

"Come here." You gently tugged his face forward to kiss him. His eyes fell closed immediately as you coaxed his mouth open and slowly laid the two of you down onto the makeshift bed. This was familiar to him. He moved automatically, pressing you to the bed and running his hands over your stomach to your chest. He couldn't think properly with the way your hands buried themselves in his hair, or with the way you shakily exhaled against his throat, sending goosebumps skittering across his body. The noises you made unconsciously and sweetly successfully shut down his brain properly, and his body fell into line as he switched gears. The switch was flipped. You two had decided to make the jump together.

That was the whole point of going on a mini vacation together. You two had tapped out of all the work both of you needed to do considering Saeyoung had done everything he'd needed to do for his business. So he booked a flight to a town near the ocean where he recalled you said that you'd wanted to go before and took a proper vacation. The day consisted mostly of you two catching up on what both of you had done during the month you had been gone even though both of you already knew most of what was said. He had read the letter you had sent him back to you, and you had laughed almost embarrassed as he tried to read all of the sappy names in as cutesy and sugary of a voice as he could. He couldn't exactly feel proud when you lost first, hiding your face in your arms and groaning loudly to block out his voice. His cheeks had been just as red as yours considering people had stared at the mushy voices.

You held his hand in yours as you both explored the town, taking your time and ignoring your phones the best that you could. The temptation to play on it was almost insatiable, but you had both succeeded. The evening was spent walking along the waves while Saeyoung watched you splash in the water. He wanted to go fishing with you and to tell you everything he knew about living off the land. Instead he had swept you up into his arms and spun you until you both toppled screaming into the water. Soaked, you returned back to the hotel to shower the salt out of your hair and hang up your clothing before finding yourselves to antsy to get into bed. You had joked about building a pillow fort, but the offer had been too perfect to pass up. Neither of you had bothered to get dressed.

It would be a first for both of you to have sex inside of a fort, but it somehow felt appropriate considering the situation. That was part of the reason for his nerves, he supposed.

Saeyoung sighed, his breathing slowing as he stared at the roof of the pillow fort. He had managed to rig up a couple of glow-in-the-dark stars to hang from the top so you both had stars to look at. You were giggling beside him, which only brought a grin to his own face. He turned his head to see your sparkling eyes watching him, so he pinched your nose between his fingers. You swatted his hand away and scooted closer before sliding onto your back, your arm and leg half on him. He wiggled his fingers against your back, but didn't say anything to protest it. He held off fully wrapping you up in his arms and dragging you closer until his body had cooled off a bit more.

"Thank you." You finally said after you two had been quiet for a long while just soaking in each other's presence. "This vacation has been amazing."

"We still have tomorrow too." Saeyoung pointed out, yawning widely. That sleepiness was creeping up on him, but it wasn't difficult to ignore it. He was admittedly a bit eager to be able to sleep beside you again.

"I might just sleep tomorrow." You laughed, but he could tell you were seriously considering it. "I'm so jet-lagged."

"That's my life twenty-four seven~" He sang.

"Seven~" You sang back. "Seven~Zero~Sev-ah!" You yawned in the middle of it and then gave up. He laughed and pushed himself into a sitting position, reaching upward to adjust the stars. He wouldn't mind having another shower, but he would hold off on it.

"Sugar plum, I think you should sleep on the bed."

"Snicker doodle, I don't wanna move~"

"Cutie patootie, you haaave tooo!" You groaned and buried your face into your pillow, mortified. Saeyoung only threw his arms in the air, successful. "Ha! Four wins for Saeyoung! My streak has not been broken!"

"How are you so good at being so gross?" You whined, voice muffled. He wrapped his arms around your body and dragged you to him. You flailed a bit, giving a half-hearted protest, but he didn't release you. He buried his face into your neck and laughed evilly.

"I have no shame! It is a power of mine!"

"What a formidable power!" You cried.

"It's very impressive! Very useful when you want to embarrass everyone around you!"

"Even yourself! Astounding!" You went limp in his arms and yawned louder this time, cursing in a huff. "I guess I need a power nap. I was hoping for a second round."

The very thought had interest perking up instantly. But he didn't exactly want you tired. "Take a nap then. I'll just play on my phone for a little while." He let you go so that you could curl back down in the fort while he went to go grab his phone from somewhere near the bed where he had tossed it.

"You don't have to stay with me if you'd rather be on your computer."

"Naaaaaah." Saeyoung would rather just lay with you in the fort. He liked the intimacy of it. He considered building a larger one at the house. Maybe in the kids' room. He bit his lip and rushed back to the pillow fort to half-throw himself into it, wrapping you up in his arms again. "Babe. Babe!" His arms clenched around you. "It's happening. It's so gonna happen!"

"The kids?" You asked, interpreting his words. You always seemed to be on his wavelength.

"God, I'm getting excited now!"

You smiled at his enthusiasm and patted his chest rapidly. "Same here!"

"Ahh!" He rolled back and forth on the sheets before sitting up sharply. "Now I really can't sleep!"

"The soonest that it would happen would be nine months." You reminded him. Your eyes were drooping, but you were still watching him. He laid back down and curled up close to you.

" _Still_." He whispered joyfully.

You patted his face now. "Let me nap some, please. Then we can continue."

"Sleep." He agreed, kissing your forehead. "I'm going to brag about our badass pillow fort to everyone."

"Sounds great . . ." You murmured, already half-asleep.


	30. As Shattered Glass Litters the Floor

You were feeling rather lackluster today, but you were attempting not to show it. You never really did well when you didn't manage to get a decent night's sleep, and last night had been no exception. You had woken up on and off throughout the night, and the few times you managed to dream you were sure you had nightmares. There was a fragility to your mental and emotional state that you recognized when you had some bad nightmares in the past. The combination of the bad sleep and the nightmares led to you being exhausted and not necessarily your cheerful self.

Nevertheless, you were with Saeyoung and the others attempting to bring in some of the furniture into the newly-built toy shop. It wasn't the final decorations, but rather just a couple of pieces Saeyoung had bought that he wanted it. Such as glass cases with very high security on them. He didn't trust any kind of moving company to put them into place correctly, so the RFA had offered to help. You stood off to the side with Jaehee as Saeyoung, Zen, and Saeran all maneuvered in a glass casing through the doorway.

"Why exactly . . . isn't Yoosung helping?" Zen grunted, shifting the weight of the case some so the brothers could support a little more of the weight.

"Because you all actually work out?" Yoosung called from the back of the store where he was finishing shoving some of the other furniture into place. It was already starting to look like a store that Saeyoung would want. There was a space station theme going on that made you giddy at the sight. For now you could only smile softly as you gazed around. You could just imagine the place filled with all kinds of toys and robots.

"Barely." Saeran grumbled.

"This should be the final piece from the moving truck." Jaehee informed everyone as she made the final checkmark on her clipboard. You were glad about that. Soon you could all go to meet up with Jumin and have the celebratory dinner that you had been looking forward to. You only wished that you could really get in the mood for it. It was the first time the entire RFA was hanging out again in a long while.

Suddenly you heard one of the boys cry out and a loud curse ensue from Zen's mouth before a crash rocked your senses. Your heart leapt in your chest and your body froze up. All you could think about was being back in Rika's apartment with your life under threat from the bomb. Watching Unknown crawl through the broken glass in the window and grabbing you when Seven burst in. The sound of yelling and Saeyoung begging people not to take his brother. Saeran's voice as he shrieked in his own madness. Your heart crying out in horror at the sight of Saeyoung's collapsed form. Was he dead? Was the blood loss too much?! You couldn't go to him. You weren't strong enough.

A gunshot rattled your very core and the scent of blood filled the air. Rika's scream of agony at the sight of V's corpse and the vomit that threatened to rise in your throat. The panic as security rushed in. You were scared. You wanted it all to stop. You didn't want this. You wanted to go back to when things were safe. Back when everything made sense. Back when people weren't dying and there were no cults and the people you believed in made _sense_ -

Someone touched your arm, and you jolted to the present. Jaehee's eyes caught yours, familiar to you in a comforting way even as your stomach churned. She said something you didn't quite catch as she looked away briefly and then back to you. She called your name again, and this time you heard her.

"You're shaking. What's wrong? Are you alright?" You couldn't tell what was really happening around you. Your pulse was fluttering and your body was vibrating with the force of your heartbeat. But your mind felt as if it was trudging through sludge even as the flashes of those horrible memories repeated in your head. You weren't sure what had just happened to you, but you knew it was something bad. You were shaken from the inside out. You only recalled feeling something like this back during the days Saeran and Saeyoung had been in the hospital. But those had been nightmares. You'd never had something like this happen in the daytime.

You couldn't respond to Jaehee and instead looked around you nervously. There was glass covering the floor everywhere. Jaehee must have dragged you back a couple of steps because you weren't in the same spot that you had been. Already the guys were working to get a hold of some brooms and cleaning up the mess of the shattered case.

"Are you two alright?" Yoosung called, running back into the room with a set of brooms.

"No, I think something's wrong." Jaehee responded because you couldn't. You didn't realize just how bad you were trembling. You kept staring at Saeran and Saeyoung, but flinched when both of them looked at you. They were safe. Saeyoung was alive. But you were so scared. And sick.

"What happened? Hey, what's wrong?!" Saeyoung cried, ignoring the mess on the floor in his hurry to reach you. Jaehee's hands didn't stray from your arm, supporting you even as your legs threatened to give out. There was still some glass where you were standing. "Are you hurt?" He called your name a couple of times, but you had a feeling if you tried to talk you would start crying. You were barely holding yourself together. A mixture of panic from your reaction to whatever had just happened and fear from what you had remembered was causing turmoil to your already fragile state. You wanted to collapse and sob, but not in front of everyone like this. You couldn't get enough air into your lungs. You felt like you might pass out.

"Is she injured?" Zen asked, hovering anxiously behind Saeyoung as he tried to get a good look at you.

"I can get an ambulance on the phone right away." Jaehee said.

"She's having a panic attack." Everyone looked at Saeran, whose eyes didn't leave you. He appeared the only one not on the verge of freaking out at the sight of you. A whimper built in your throat, but you swallowed it down as your eyes watered. Your body was curling in on itself, but Saeyoung and Jaehee's hands kept you steady. "We need to find her a place to sit. Somewhere quiet."

"Okay!" Yoosung immediately started sweeping.

"What are you doing? We're supposed to be helping her!" Zen yelled.

"I'm making a path! There are rooms back there for her to sit at!"

"Oh." Zen looked to you. Your nails were biting into the skin of your hand, but you tried to give him a shaky smile even as your skin prickled. You didn't like that your back was exposed to the windows, but Saeyoung was there so you felt safer. He wouldn't let you get hurt. You couldn't understand why you felt you would be attacked at any moment.

The boys cleared a path in the glass so that you could pass safely, and Jaehee and Saeyoung brought you to one of the backrooms where there were some chairs. Your legs felt stiff even as they threatened to give out beneath you. Brittle like sticks under the smallest weight of your body.

"It's okay." Saeyoung whispered to you, his hand touching your cheek. When you didn't flinch or pull away, he stroked his palm over your sweaty skin to brush your hair back. "You're alright, honey. Can you talk?"

"What caused the attack?" Jaehee asked softly even as she made for the sink in the room. There were some clean rags that she began to wet.

"G-Glass." You whimpered out. "I-I-I don't . . . I'm sorry I-"

"You don't have to apologize!" Saeyoung protested.

"Here! I got a water bottle!" Zen called as he entered the room. Saeyoung took it from him gratefully and opened it for you, but you couldn't bring yourself to drink it. It felt good to hold in your hands, though. Jaehee gently wiped at your brow.

"Is she okay?" Yoosung asked as he and Saeran poked their heads into the room before also entering.

"She's still shaking." Saeyoung murmured.

"J-Just give me a moment please." You told them in a weak voice, and they listened and backed off of you. You took a couple of deep calming breaths, taking your time to hold each one and release slowly. When you felt a bit calmer, you went ahead and confessed, "I'm not sure wh-what happened . . . but I'm okay. I'm not . . . I'm not hurt."

"I didn't think you had panic attacks." Saeran said quietly.

"I don't." Was it really a panic attack that you had just gone through? You weren't sure. "I'm just . . . I don't know." You finished weakly. You didn't have an explanation. You supposed that it was trauma, but you didn't want to admit that to any of your friends. Especially with Saeran around.

But your eyes met Saeran's, and you could tell he understood more than he was saying. You also understood he wouldn't mention it. Only then did you tear up a bit. You wiped at your eyes, feeling guilty of your own emotions.

Saeyoung glanced between you and Saeran, but if he picked up anything from his brother you couldn't tell. Instead he kissed your forehead and squeezed your arm gently. "You're fine, though. That's the good thing." He stood up and turned to the others. "Do you guys mind finishing cleaning up? I'll stay here. Until she calms down, yeah?"

They all looked hesitant to leave, eyes darting to you, but eventually Jaehee nodded. "The glass needs to be cleared . . . but will you be alright?"

You smiled and nodded shakily. "I just need . . . a few minutes. I've dealt with something like this before."

"Be sure to let us know if this happens again!" Zen told you. "I can't stand to see you so scared!"

You wondered what your face had looked like then. "He's right, of course! If you're feeling bad, let us know, okay?" Yoosung added.

"Just go." Saeran pushed Yoosung and Zen towards the door. He didn't look at you as he left, and you dropped your gaze further.

"Join us when you can." Jaehee told you and Saeyoung. "We can figure out the case later."

"Maybe at dinner!" Saeyoung suggested.

"I don't know how he can think of food at this time." Zen grumbled outside of the room. Jaehee only gave a small wave and a reassuring smile before closing the door to the room and leaving you and your husband alone.

"Last night . . ." Saeyoung murmured slowly, considering his own words, "you kept waking up throughout the night . . ."

"You noticed?" You asked meekly.

"You know I'm a light sleeper." He dragged over another chair to sit with you, grabbing your still trembling hand to hold. You sipped at your water. "And you usually sleep through the night. Were you having nightmares?"

"I don't know." You admitted. The quiet talk of your friends outside of the room was soothing to you. "I think so."

"You've never really . . . shown that you were affected by all the things we went through. Did you have . . . trouble back then? When I wasn't around to help you?"

You didn't want to tell him yes, but you knew better than to lie to him. So you nodded a tiny bit. "I thought I was over it, though . . ."

"Trauma never really goes away." Saeyoung told you, squeezing your hand until you looked at him. He looked so sad. You hated seeing him sad. You leaned forward to kiss him, sympathizing with even a small amount of his pain. He sighed against your lips and tapped his forehead to yours. "I'm sorry."

"If I don't get to apologize, you don't either." You nudged his foot pointedly and closed your eyes against the water there. "I just haven't been feeling well today. I'm better now."

His sadness lightened just a bit, but his eyes were still troubled. You had a feeling you wouldn't be able to do anything to help that. "Then . . . let's go deal with that mess out there when you're ready. And we can talk about this later if you want."

You grinned. "Yes. Because now we have to deal with a whole broken case."

He groaned loudly, dropping his head. "I knooooow! My poor case! It was too heavy for just us threeeee!"

You patted his head and huffed a laugh, which had him glancing at you with sparkling eyes beneath his fringe. "Next time we should hire movers."

"What a waste of money . . ."

"Cheaper than buying new glass cases."

"Stop being so riiiight~!"


	31. A Scream

It was hard to believe that things were going so well for the store. Opening day was just around the corner, and enough advertising for the new toys on the televisions and billboards were enough to already have a number of people hyped up about the new toys that Saeyoung had been making. Most of them were, admittedly, out of his comfort zone because he usually made more spy toys. Or dangerous toys. But he was rather proud of the things he had made. He'd had plenty of help from you and the rest of the RFA as well. The toys were bound to be a hit.

Still, though, he wanted to keep making more. It didn't feel right to have them mass-produced, so his store was more of a first come-first serve kind of deal. Which people would have to adjust to because Saeyoung knew his toys would be the best. His pride wouldn't allow anything less. And besides, your face always lit up with delight whenever he finished and tested a new product no matter how silly it was. Jumin and Jaehee had insisted that Saeyoung do intensive testing on the robots to make sure they were safety compliant before every risking them going to the store, and even then Saeyoung needed an inspector to triple check as well.

Today he was doing the initial testing of a new round of toys he had created. He would make sure that his shop was filled when people came in to try out the handmade robotics. None of them were quite as high-class or as programmed as Meowy was, but it was funny to see all of the robot cats running around. Mandu had already come over to investigate, but he had hissed and huffed before walking off offended.

"Awww Manduuu! Don't be like that!" You called after the cat, who firmly ignored you. "He's become a little priss."

"He's jealous that Saeyoung isn't paying attention to him." Saeran commented. Hunni was in his lap watching the robot cats tottering around and meowing. Other than being a little wary, she didn't appear to really care about the robots unless they came too close to her. Her tail flicked a bit, but calmed down when Saeran scratched behind her ears.

"I'll harass him so much when I'm done." Saeyoung murmured as he tightened a bolt on one of the smaller robot cats. He placed it back down and called a command to the cats, "Come!"

Half of the cats responded, coming over, while the other half complained, whining in high-pitched kitty voices. Saeyoung nodded. That was about the algorithm he had put into the system. "Why are they complaining?" You asked, giving them baffled by amused looks.

"Because they're cats." Saeyoung said simply. He shared a look with you that had your eyes widening in understanding before you ducked your head. He grinned.

"I don't want to know." Saeran grumbled, picking up a cat to turn it back towards his brother. It let out a confused meow that had you cooing, which made Saeyoung proud. It seemed like everything was working properly.

"Here kitties!" He called again, and this time all of the cats responded. Some were slower than others, being programmed to be a bit pickier, but all of them eventually came to a stop in front of him and sat down. "Help me switch their free will." He asked, leaning forward to find the switches necessary to take the cats off of free will mode. You and Saeran helped him properly despite the startled whines of the cats being "mistreated". Hunni, finally disturbed by the noise, hopped off of Saeran's lap and tucked herself behind him with her eyes narrowed at the mechanical beasts.

When the cats had quieted and were in commanded mode, Saeyoung turned them all to face you with a devious grin. You tilted your head with some curiosity, but he could tell you were preparing for him to mess with you. Only natural, of course. He wanted to see you either laughing or blushing, and he hoped that his toys would succeed in doing that for him.

"Kitties, tell my wife voice 38!" He commanded. Most of the cats rang out a cutesy and loud "I love you!" however three of the robots screamed instead, the words stretching and grating against the ear drums. Everyone covered their ears as they cringed at the sound and Hunni bolted out of the room. Luckily the sound didn't last that long since the phrase was so short. Slowly you removed your hands from your ears as Saeyoung grabbed two of the malfunctioning cats and Saeran grabbed the third to open them up.

"That was romantic." You said wryly. "Nothing like having love confessed to you by the shrieks of the damned."

Saeran snorted, shooting you an amused look while Saeyoung chuckled. " _Definitely_ not what was supposed to happen." He told all of the cats to shut down as he grabbed his small screwdriver to start opening the cats. "Ahhh, why did this happen? What went wrong? Was I too tired? Were the parts faulty? Were my kitty cats hacked? Did my brother sabotage me?"

"Quit talking to yourself if you're going to slander me to my face." Saeran grumbled.

"And now he won't let me talk to myself~ Boooo~ Boooooooo~" Saeyoung pouted his lips. "Wifey~ Do something~ Brother's being mean to meee~!"

"You're being an idiot. The cats are fine."

"Children, children, you're both cute. Calm down now." You reached forward to pat both of the brothers' heads. Saeyoung preened under your attention, lifting his head for more petting, but Saeran ducked out under your hand after you ruffled his hair a bit. "So curly~" You sang.

"Weirdo." Saeran accused, snatching up another screwdriver to take a look at the cat in his own hands. He had picked up on how to build robots fast from helping Saeyoung with the preparations for the store. Just like Saeyoung, he seemed to thrive at having something to keep his hands busy and his mind working. Saeyoung was just happy to have a healthy hobby they could both indulge in that didn't put his baby cars at risk and didn't involve hacking.

"Saeyooooung! Now Saeran is calling _me_ names!"

"Ooh! Hang on! Hang on!" Saeyoung quickly put down the cat. "I've got this!" He cleared his throat and pointed sternly at Saeran, who watched him with the most unamused face. Saeyoung desperately tried to keep up his act and not laugh at that. "Saeran! Stop bullying your sister! Or no ice cream for you tonight!"

Saeran flicked him off, rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

You laughed loudly. "Wow! Have you been practicing your dad voice?"

"You picked up on it!" Saeyoung cried, delighted. "I think it's turning out nice, right?"

" _Very_ stern and manly." You agreed, your voice slightly playful. "I love it."

"I knew you would." Saeyoung basked in the praise of your attention.

"It's probably good that you are." You reached out and pinched his cheek briefly before pushing his glasses back into place properly. "At the rate we were going, you were going to seem like the playful uncle and Saeran the serious but sarcastic dad."

"Hey!"

Saeran scoffed a sound at the thought. "I'd be a terrible dad." He confessed easily. "I would leave them to Saeyoung."

"My brother trusts in me!"

"That wasn't trust. You would be the better play thing for them to climb all over. You're a kid yourself."

"I can be very mature!" Saeyoung purposely blew a raspberry at Saeran to destroy his own display of maturity. You giggled in response. "Actually," he dropped the playfulness for a moment, "speaking of kids . . . babe, any changes?"

"Maybe?" You admitted, patting your own stomach in thought. The response sent Saeyoung's heart rate spiking with anxiety and excitement. "It's a little too soon to tell for this month . . . but you'll be the first to know if I have suspicions."

"Is it really that difficult to tell?" Saeran asked, somewhat shyly and awkwardly. He seemed vaguely embarrassed by his question.

"It's harder when I only have facts but no experience with this kind of thing." You scratched your arm with a small smile. "I can only watch for signs."

"But once we know, then the REAL fun begins!" Saeyoung pointed out.

"'Fun'." You confirmed with air quotations. "I may have agreed to this and want this, but it's not going to be _you_ carrying around the baby for nine months and messing up your body in the process."

"Just make him carry the baby for the next nine months." Saeran suggested.

"Good idea!"

"Every day."

"Baby sleeping on his stomach."

"Bye bye abs . . ."

"Hello pudge!" You reached forward to squeeze Saeyoung's bit of stomach fat.

"NOOO! Stop it!" He cried, covering his ears and shaking his head. He couldn't get the image of a baby attached to his stomach out of his head now, rapidly growing into a child that he would still be carrying. "I don't want to picture that!"

You and Saeran only laughed, probably imagining something similar. Saeyoung sulked and dropped his gaze back to his cats to keep working on them. He would much rather picture you pregnant than himself. At least you would still be cute while pregnant. He would probably just look like the horrible imaginings he'd had in the past when he ate too many chips. He didn't want to imagine getting that big. He shuddered. Maybe it wasn't such a good thing that you and Saeran had found common ground with bullying him. Why was everyone in his family such a little sadist? He couldn't imagine how his kids would be when they were older.

(Although he had a feeling you would be getting a lot of phone calls from the school in the future.)


	32. Loud, So Everyone Can Here

Today you were Saeran. Originally you weren't supposed to be Saeran, but rather Saeyoung. You were already dressed up and ready to go as your husband, your contacts in and your wig properly in place, when Saeran had walked into the room. You two had stared at each other for a long moment before he pointed at you and asked,

"What are you doing?"

You weighed the option of already starting to pretend to be Saeyoung, but figured that Saeran at least deserved an explanation. You had never dressed up like your husband before, so this kind of thing must be surprising. "I'm gonna be Saeyoung today." You told him. "And Saeyoung's going to be me."

"For the party?" Saeran looked you up and down dubiously as he approached you. He had to push the Gucci glasses you were wearing properly onto your face because they kept slipping a little bit. You didn't mind the casual touch at all and only gave him your best Saeyoung Grin.

"Yes! Hahaha, isn't it great! Am I the best God Seven?" You posed in a couple positions before suddenly the bathroom door flew open, and out came yourself. Or, rather, Saeyoung dressed as you. You only gaped at his amazing disguises. He actually looked a lot like you with some exceptions to the shape of his face or body! You knew if he had gone all out, he could probably fool anyone into thinking he was you.

"You two look so handsome together~" Saeyoung cried in his best impersonation of you. Which, honestly, wasn't too bad, but he couldn't quite match your voice exactly. "Which one of you is my handsome husband?"

You gasped. "Babe, I can't believe you would mistake me for my brother!" You turned away dramatically, sniffling. "I . . . I'm the one with the glasses!"

"I'm so sorry!" He rushed to you and grabbed your head to yank you against his chest. Oh God, he was wearing fake breasts. "Here! Rest against my boobies until you feel better!"

You snorted and began to giggle, unable to hold up against his words. You pulled back quickly and adjusted your glasses. "When have I ever said that?" You laughed.

"If you ever said it, I'm glad it wasn't around me. That was disgusting to watch." Saeran told you, his face scrunched from the show.

"Saeran~ You can have a piece of me too~" Saeyoung winked saucily.

"I may vomit."

You didn't hesitate to grab onto Saeyoung's fake breasts, not sure whether to be impressed or not when you discovered they were the right size as yours. "Amazing. Please tell me these aren't custom made or something."

"Not at all!" He lied.

"Why are you two dressed as each other?" Saeran tried desperately to steer the topic back on track.

"Because it's fun? And it'll be funnier when we make the announcement! Speaking of . . ." Saeyoung turned to you and grabbed your hands, hopping up and down a bit. "Can I tell them? I wanna tell them!"

You didn't know what he had up his sleeve, but you definitely wanted to see it. "Of course!"

"Ya-hoo!"

Saeran looked like he was considering something as he looked you up in down. You shifted Saeyoung's jacket better on your shoulders as you watched your husband manage to do quite the jig considering he was in heels. Saeran reached forward and pulled off your glasses to flip them around and look at them. ". . . Let's make it more confusing." He decided with a small smile.

So now you were Saeran and Saeran was Saeyoung and Saeyoung was you. Luckily you were pretty close in height to both of the brothers, so you could pull off a decent twin look with Saeran. You were kind of sad you couldn't wear the jacket, but Saeran's cute sweater that he had passed to you was good enough. Plus it was hilarious seeing Saeyoung holding his brother's hand and swinging it much like you tended to do when you were in a good mood.

"Okay!" Saeyoung announced as the three of you arrived at the restaurant where you were to meet the rest of the RFA. "Testing, one two! Everyone ready to act?" He pointedly looked at his brother, and you did as well. Saeran seemed to have realized the weight of his choices as he sighed. He looked shockingly just like Saeyoung without his color-changing contacts and wearing those glasses. The only thing he was missing was a bit of the muscle and fat that Saeyoung had. Now that you really thought about it, Saeran really _was_ very attractive. You briefly mused about the idea of having a twin sandwich . . . but then remembered that Saeran wasn't into that kind of thing. You allowed yourself a brief wave of disappointment before moving on from the idea.

It would probably be better not to mention that to Saeyoung.

"What's the matter, brother?" You asked, dropping your voice to something softer and manlier to try to match Saeran's usual speech, "Can't get it up today?"

Saeyoung snorted, and by God he somehow managed to copy even that little embarrassing thing from you. You really should mention acting to him with Zen.

"Babe!" Saeran whined, putting on a pretty good impression of his brother's higher voice, "Stop teaming up with my brother against me!"

"But he's funny." Saeyoung protested, smiling.

"This way, please!" The host finally came to fetch you three, and you all were led to the booth in the back of the restaurant away from any prying eyes or any possible disturbances. The others were already there chatting happily with each other, which just went to show that you were all late.

"You're late." Jumin pointed out immediately, eyes narrowed. You knew the game was up for him right away as his eyes regarded you.

"Whoa~ What the heck are you guys wearing?" Yoosung cried, baffled.

Zen had already hopped up and pulled out a seat for "you" next to Jaehee, who opened her mouth to say something as she looked back and forth between Saeyoung and you. "Here you go! I was waiting to do that." Zen said cheerfully.

"Thank you." Saeyoung responded, already perfectly in character.

"Hiya hey hey!" Saeran greeted them all, taking the seat next to Saeyoung even though it was Zen's spot. Reluctantly Zen sat down next to you instead across from the brothers.

"Saeran, why are you dressed like that?" Yoosung asked, pointing at Saeyoung. You very nearly laughed. Of course nobody would be able to tell the brothers apart, and you were dressed like Saeran. They must think that Saeyoung was Saeran.

"Dressed like what?" Saeyoung asked, winking. "I'm dressed appropriately."

"But you're dressed as your brother's wife?" Jaehee asked.

"Holy-! Wait a second! Saeran!" Zen cried, realizing he had pulled out the chair for him.

"Yes?" You asked.

"No, not you! Him! Although . . . at least that means I get to sit next to you." He smiled, clearly pleased.

"Ooh~ Is the famous actor Zen showing his true colors? Flirting with MY brother?" Saeran asked, grinning cheekily. The smile was a little tenser than what Saeyoung usually looked like, but it was a good impersonation. You were a little unnerved to see Saeran acting like that, but it helped that he looked exactly like Saeyoung.

"No! Don't start that! You _know_ she's not Saeran!"

"I still don't get _why_ you two are dressed like that . . ." Jaehee asked again.

"Or why you called us all to have a meal together when two of you were not going to take it seriously." Jumin added.

"Chill chill!" Saeran motioned for them all to calm down.

"There's a reason for this." You added.

"I hope it's good." Yoosung said. "This is honestly super weird. I mean, I know you two are twins, but you look _exactly_ like Saeyoung right now!"

"Thank you." Saeyoung said while you muttered, "I don't think that's a compliment."

"This is freaking me out." Zen said. "Stop acting like Saeran! It's not like you!"

"But really," Saeyoung cut in, "there is a very good reason we were all called here!"

"He's even acting like Saeyoung." Zen grumbled.

"I'm getting chills." Yoosung agreed under his breath.

"Please let it not be a second proposal. I didn't bring any kind of gifts." Jaehee added.

"I'm not smoothing down any more ruffled feathers if you hack the space station again, Saeyoung." Jumin warned.

"Wait!" Saeran cried. "Babe, let me tell them!"

"Shh! We agreed I would!" Saeyoung protested.

"I'm too excited! I'm gonna say it!"

"Nope!" Saeyoung slapped a hand over his brother's mouth and then quickly told everyone in a loud voice that was bound to draw attention, "Friends! You all know I looooove my handsome and talented and godlike husband, right?"

"This is so gross!" Zen complained.

"I agree." You said.

"Well our love has blossomed!" Saeyoung continued, regardless of the peanut gallery, "I'm . . . pregnant!"

"Wait what?" Jaehee asked.

"You're PREGNANT?!" Yoosung shouted, gaping.

"And she's the father!" Saeyoung pointed at you. Saeran gasped, horrified.

"Saeran! How could you! I know the kid will still look like me but . . ."

"I couldn't help it. You teased us for so long about it."

"It's true." Saeyoung nodded solemnly.

"What the hell is happening?" Zen looked between you three, trying to keep up.

"Wait, are you not really pregnant?" Yoosung asked.

"No, I'm really pregnant." You confessed, dropping the act. Jumin coughed up his water as Jaehee gasped and Zen and Yoosung cried out in amazement and shock.

Saeyoung started laughing. "Oh my God! We got _Jumin_ to choke instead!"

"Where are my contacts?" Saeran asked, removing his glasses. "I don't want to wear this anymore."

"Wait, what the actual hell?" Zen asked, pointing back and forth between the brothers. "I thought you were Saeran?!"

"Congratulations!" Jaehee told you, ignoring the chaos occurring around her. "I did not realize you were trying to children!"

"It was a secret." You confessed shyly.

"I'm actually Saeyoung." Saeyoung poked his fingers into his cheeks, twisting them back and forth as he stuck his tongue out cheekily.

"I can't believe he got you to dress up like him, Saeran!" Yoosung said.

"It was my suggestion."

"No way!"

"This was planned?" Jumin asked you. You nodded. "I see. Well, congratulations. I suppose I need to order some gifts. What do you send your friends when they're planning for children . . . ?"

"Jumin, please just wait until the baby shower. It'll be easier." Jaehee sighed.

"Look, forget those two idiots!" Zen finally yelled above din, quieting the others, and turned to you. "You're really pregnant?" He asked, softer but no less shocked.

"Yes."

"That's great news!" Yoosung cheered, clapping quickly. You could tell he would've hugged you if he had been next to you.

"Oh God." Zen covered his mouth. "I'm going to cry. I can't believe you're actually _pregnant_!"

"We're gonna be parents!" Saeyoung added his own enthusiasm.

"You're letting him _reproduce_!" Zen lamented instead, covering his eyes in horror. That made you laugh harder enough that tears formed in your eyes, and you weren't the only one laughing at that even as Saeyoung made an offended noise.

"We need to celebrate!" Yoosung declared.

"I will tell my assistant to clear my schedule." Jumin agreed, already grabbing his phone and sliding out of his seat to go somewhere quieter.

"Someone gets us some drinks! We're going to toast!" Zen waved over the waiter, who had been lingering far off to the side.

"No alcohol for her, though. She can't drink if she's pregnant." Jaehee quickly added.

"I'll drink for you!" Saeyoung said.

"My contacts . . ." Saeran muttered.

"BABY RFA MEMBERS!" Saeyoung shouted over him, and all of your friends started clapping and cheering while your smile made your cheeks hurt. You were glad the reception was taken well.

"But seriously, can you take off the wig at least?" Jaehee asked. "I cannot believe this moment when you look like one of the brothers."

* * *

 **A/N: Ah, one more to go before I start on the pregnancy story, I guess. Lol. I don't have prompts for that one. Time to wing it~**


	33. As a Goodbye

Saeyoung was a mess of anxiousness and excitement. His blood raced through his veins as his head constantly rang with alarms. His body seemed to want to explode from the sheer emotion he was putting himself through as his stomach twisted into knots. Some of the knots were pleasant, but there were a lot of terrible knots as well. He felt like he would be sick if he moved too much, but his arms and legs were jittery from the rapid breakdown happening in his head.

Today was the opening of his store. He had planned for this for so long, and now the day had arrived. Jumin and his assistant would be there to talk with people about the robots. Families, he knew from looking at his camera feed, were already beginning to line up outside curious of the advertisement that Saeyoung had set up weeks ago. About the little robots that he done creative things in his windows to attract customers to the signs that stated when the store would be open. He had read up enough to know exactly how to draw a crowd for opening day. He was so excited.

But he was also terrified. This wasn't some mission he was on. If he messed it up, he and his family would suffer when the store suffers. He was the type of guy who worked in-and-out missions. His undercover work was as brief as he could make it to get the information he needed. He usually destroyed cameras and robotics rather than made them. This was a new area for him. And now he would be selling them too. He had to be responsible of his store. It was something he was well aware of, but still scared the shit out of him.

Luckily his excitement was overriding most of his fear. For now, anyway.

"Aggggghhhh!" Saeyoung buried his hands in his hair and kicked at the floor of his car, needing to get some of his energy out. "I'm so pumped! I really can't wait to do this! It makes me wanna just speed down an open highway in my baby! I need to feel the POW-A!"

"Which is exactly why I'm driving." Saeran said, completely without any of Saeyoung's chaotic emotions. Still Saeyoung could sense that his brother wasn't completely without his own anxiety. Saeyoung only felt the need to play up his excitement more to soothe his brother's nerves.

"Yes, thank you for driving." You said from the back seat, leaning forward a bit to smile at the brothers.

"But it would be so much fun if I drove!" Saeyoung said. "You love how I drive, babe!"

"I'm terrified of how you drive." You told him cheerfully. "Although it _is_ fun at times." He pumped his fist at your confession. He knew that he wasn't the only one who got a rush from the speed of his beautiful cars. There was nothing quite like it. And if he could play his cards right, the thrill tended to get to you. Which also led to other fun things. Ah, thinking about it only made him more eager to go driving!

"Saeran! Let's have a race after work today! Your car versus mine! Vroom vroom!" He had the image of you in his favorite car, his brother's car beside him, and a long open road that just begged to be torn up by skid marks. A pounding bass to match his heart beat and your screams of delight at the delicious rumble of his car's engine.

"No." Saeran said simply.

"Aw, I'll have to miss it." You sighed, ignoring Saeran's rejection. "I would only be able to watch."

"Oh. Yeah, you're right." Saeyoung's mental image shattered. He had to admit that as much fun as it was to play around, he was extremely glad you were always aware of your health state. He had yet to read up on the books he had sworn to himself he would read about pregnancy. Risking your life in a death race would probably not be the best idea. Even if Saeyoung was positive you would be fine.

He turned around in his seat to look at you. "You're fine?" His eyes darted to your stomach, but you weren't showing at all yet. He couldn't help but look though. The very thought of it was enough to send a virus into his already frazzled brain.

"Yes, I'm fine." You reassured him with an understanding, if somewhat teasing, smile. Your hand reached out to grab his, squeezing it. "You're going to be a worrier, aren't you?"

"And you're _not_ worried?" He countered, unable to deny the guess but unwilling to admit to the truth.

"I can't really." You shrugged. "I mean, maybe it hasn't really sunk in yet? But I don't think I have anything to worry about right now. I'm kind of excited to see what will happen."

"You're the best wife, you know that?" He wanted to kiss you, but neither of you were able to. He could only squeeze your hand. He was positive his heart was in his eyes as he looked at you, and so, embarrassed with his own feelings, he dropped his gaze to instead look at his brother. Saeran took it as his cue to shove Saeyoung to sit properly in his seat, forcing you two to drop each other's hands.

"Sit right, or get out of the car." He threatened.

"It's my car, though!"

"Driver decides. Passenger shuts the hell up." You laughed when Saeyoung jutted out his lip a bit. His brother had opened up so much since they had found him, but his personality was definitely a lot different from when they were kids. Well, admittedly so was Saeyoung's, so he couldn't blame him. Still, his brother could be _so mean_!

Saeran pulled the car into the parking lot of yours and Jaehee's café, so you climbed out of the vehicle. Saeyoung rolled down his window so you could lean into it. "I'm sorry I have to miss the opening, Saeyoung." You murmured. He could tell you honestly were a bit sad about it. Saeyoung was also a bit disappointed that you wouldn't be by his side during the opening and to see everything, but it would be crowded and Saeyoung already had enough hands to help him. Besides, Saeran and Yoosung would be working with him, so he couldn't feel too alone. A part of him worried that the stress of the opening may have a negative effect on your health too, although you had waved him off for that.

"It's okay." He reassured you. "You'll just have to make it up to me!"

"Oh~? How so?" You smiled teasingly. It was very _very_ tempting for him to flirt, but he could already feel Saeran glaring daggers at him. Jeez, stress did not fit well with his twin. It made him grumpy. It was killing Saeyoung's buzz a bit.

"I'll~ Tell~ You~ La~ Ter~" He sing-songed and reached forward to grab your neck and pull you closer. You met his kiss gladly, smiling against his lips. He basked in the soft scent of your perfume and the taste of the modest chapstick you had decided to use today instead of lipstick. It did wonders for calming his mind enough that he could think better. The rushing rapids of his brain became instead just a fast-moving river. Enough for him to work with.

Saeyoung was reluctant to pull away, so you did first. Your eyes had that longing look to them that Saeyoung had long ago filed away as "Kiss me more" in his book, and he desperately wanted to fulfill that need. But he knew he couldn't without getting probably slapped by his brother or honked at loudly, so he resisted. He needed to leave, and you needed to work.

"You've got a deal, Mr. Choi." You finally said, clearing your throat some. Saeyoung grinned. It was always nice to know he still had such an effect on you.

"Contract sealed!"

"Call me when you have lunch." You leaned forward one more time to kiss his cheek, and then leaned past him to pat Saeran's arm. "Let me know how you both are doing, alright? I'll come around after I finish work."

"Be careful." Saeran told you, only a bit hesitantly. He seemed embarrassed by the attention.

"He's right. Take a break if you're tired. Jaehee will understand!" He agreed.

"I'll start taking breaks from work when I start waddling." You complained, but squeezed Saeyoung's arm to show you appreciated the worry.

You leaned down one more time, clearly unable to resist, and kissed him once more on the lips. "I love you. Have a great first day of _actually_ having a job!" You waved to them both as you finally turned to head into the store, digging your keys out of your purse. Saeyoung pressed the button to make the window of the car rise, sighing as Saeran pulled out of the parking lot.

"Can you believe what our lives have become?" He asked his brother softly. "It's so . . . _normal_."

"Good." Saeran muttered simply. "It's about time we reached normality."

"Right?" Saeyoung huffed a laugh. "Normality was definitely a goal . . . but this exceeds expectations. If normality was the ideal, this is perfection."

Saeran didn't respond to that, allowing the words to saturate the air so both brothers could soak up the feelings the sentence invoked. It was only after a few seconds of silence did he finally say, "Quit being a sap. It's disgusting." He motioned to his brother with a flick of his wrist. "And call Jumin. Your chatter with that woman made us late."

Saeyoung did start dialing Jumin, but he couldn't help his sly grin. "Not if you speed." He suggested.

Saeran's eyes met his, and Saeyoung knew their eyes held the same devious glint. Saeran's mouth quirked briefly before he pressed his foot further down on the pedal. Already Saeyoung's fingers were flying across his phone's screen to find the safest route without police. The rush of his car matched the speed of his rushing mind, bringing the world down to an almost optimal level.

Normality achieved.

* * *

 **A/N:** **Wow! This has been such a wonderful trip. This whole series started off as just an outlet I desperately needed after doing Saeyoung's route. He needed a lot of fluff, and the game didn't have time to give it to me. So I made it myself. To be honest I still think that at times I may have gone a little too OOC with Saeyoung, but he's a difficult alien- I mean, guy to rein in properly.**

 **Thank you to all my reviewers and people who read this far and enjoyed it. I think this story became the top MM fanfiction on AO3? Maybe? Like holy fuck? Thank you?! I'm just overjoyed people enjoy it that much! I do have plans to continue with this particular fluff series going into PARENTHOOD! Which I've never done before with any fandom (kind of), so it will be new to me. I will make it the second part to this.**  
 **I would've just kept adding babies to this story, but because this was a prompt fic, I wanted to end it when I ran out of the 33 prompts. I honestly wasn't expecting to actually do all of them because some got so angsty, but I'm glad I did. Surprising even to myself!**

 **So please keep an eye out for the follow-up fanfiction which will probably come out soon. In the meantime I have other MM fanfictions I am working on. If you're interested, please go check those out too!**

 **I'm also on Tumblr under the name of tsukithewolf, so hit me up there if you wanna chat or follow me! Nothing like rambling on about Mystic Messenger (or other fandoms) with peeps.**

 **Thank you all so much again! And I hope this story continues to be loved! TAKE MY LOVE, SAEYOUNG, AND SHARE IT WITH THE FANDOM. YOU DESERVE IT!**

 **And if I can manage to think of good stories, I wanna write shipping fics for some of the other characters as well. Because I love all of them, even if Saeyoung is my husband hahahaha!**

 **...What a weird note to end this story on.**


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